To Live In Love
by s.e tudor
Summary: Without knowing the Titanic's impending doom, Christine boards with her family and finds love in one of the most unusual places with the ships most unusual guy. E/C AU POTO/Titanic
1. Welcome Aboard

It was a ship of wonders indeed. The way it sat in the harbor was unlike any other ship I had ever seen. The way the ship sparkled in the early morning April sun could even make a man's eyes tear up. She was full of life with many people aboard her already. Goodbyes were being yelled but most were lost over the bellowing horn. People scurried up the walk way to assure their worrying loved ones that they had made it aboard safely; my family however, took their time because they were positive that the ship would wait for us. When we finally did board the ship was even grander. The deck was made of the darkest wood, shining brightly as if it had just been polished only hours before. The smell of new paint lingered very lightly on deck, but it was obvious that the ship had been finished that morning. The commotion on board was louder than the dock, full of life, love and happiness. Feelings were overwhelming and before I knew it I was swept up in the crowd and found myself by the rail, which was being warmed by the sun, waving goodbye to people I had never met.

"Goodbye!" I waved down to the people who looked so tiny from way up here "Bon Soir!" I smiled and waved ecstatically, so hard that I was sure my arm would fall off "Arivaderchi!" I blew kisses to the tiny people, not caring if they cared or if it was lady like or not "Bon voyage!"

As if on que the ship started to move from port being towed by two tiny boats. People around me threw things off the sides and a guy beside me shook a bottle of spirits and popped it. He shook it high above everybody, getting everyone soaked with the bubbles and then took a swig of it himself before he dumped the rest into the ocean below. I laughed and wiped the spirit off my face, except for my lips, stealing a taste of the spirit which tasted like fresh picked strawberries.

It was nearing supper when the commission on the deck had died down. I noticed a lot of people retire to the third class cabins, a few people retired to the second class and very few people retired to their first class cabins. I however retired to a stateroom, the only two that were being occupied by my family. One of them housed my father and his business partners son, the other held my mother and I. I was lucky to occupy such a grand part of the ship.

The room was extremely large, with two bedrooms on each end and carpet so plush you could sink into it. The sitting room was adorned with overstuffed couches and high back chairs, a fire place with a fine clock perched on top. Above the fireplace was a painting, a Picasso I believed but I didn't stay too long to observe it as my mother had called me into one of the rooms.

"Christine? Is that you?" My mother's voice called.

"Yes mother" I called back, afraid to yell too loud in the stunning silence.

"Please be a dear and come here. I haven't seen our maid yet and I need assistance dressing for supper"

I smiled and made my way into my mother's bedroom. I casually leaned on the door frame and crossed my arms much like my father would have done "Corset troubles?" I said sympathetically.

"Yes." She said frustrated "I'd ask your father but I haven't seen a hide or hair of your father since we boarded the ship. I presume he went with Raoul to the gentlemen's club to smoke their cigars."

"And drink their brandy!" I added in before we both laughed. IF there was anything my father loved about having twenty even year old Raoul DeChangy travel with him was the man's fine taste in cigars and how he had a 'talent' when it came to pairing them with certain liqueurs.

After I helped my mother into her gown, she helped me into mine. It was a silk down made of a peach colored fabric with a sparkling sheer overlay. The sleeves gently draped over my shoulders exposing them just a bit. Long white gloves, sparking diamond earrings and a matching necklace completed the natural waist line outfit. My mother pinned back the sides of my hair and embellished my dark brown curls with sparkles. I looked elegant and simple and I looked the way a twenty five year old woman should look.

"My beautiful daughter" my mother smiled "so beautiful in fact that captain smith might invite us to dine with him!" my mother smiled and added a soft blush to my cheeks as a final touch "Let's go shall we? Our escorts must be waiting and we must not keep them!" she smiled and held her head high as she walked out of the room. I however stayed behind for a few seconds longer. If I loved anything about my mother it was her ability to act lady like and classy, yet to have fun while doing it. She loved to gossip over tea to her friends or gossip over their knitting circles. During the day my mother was everything a lady should be, at night she could turn into a different person. Although it was rare she would drink a brandy or three with my father and sample some of the finest cigars. She would cuss like a sailor and my father was perfectly okay with it, as long as company wasn't over and I had retired to my bedroom, although I spent many nights watching them from the grand staircase in our home. I always envied this about my mother, and I wanted to be just like her when I grew up. I was raised the way she had shown herself. During the day I was raised to be a lady and at night I was allowed to get a dress that had been torn to rags on and run outside and play. I caught butterflies and other bugs and often ran and played in the woods behind our house. Raoul, although two years older than I, would always play with me and supervise me in the woods even though I insisted that I didn't need it. Raoul and I eventually grew up and he took control over his father's business and had asked me to marry him. I didn't give him an answer as I was positive I didn't want to marry him, and he never asked me for an answer, it seemed as if marrying me was more for publicity than it was for his own good.

A loud tap on the door jarred me from my thoughts of the past for which I was thankful the tap on the door came when it did. I was diligently got up from the stool I had been perched on and made my way to the door and opened it ever so slightly.

"Christine" the familiar voice flooded my ears "Your mother said you were sitting in here before she left, if we don't leave now we'll be late for supper."

I opened the door wider and grabbed the key that was sitting on the table near the door "I'm sorry Raoul, I just got caught up in something." I shut the door behind me and locked it quickly. "You look dapper." I smiled and straightened his bowtie.

"And you look beautiful Christine."

"Thank you" I blushed slightly and looked away before I took his arm. The walk to the dining room was a quiet one. Raoul had glanced over to me a few times as if he wanted to say something to me but didn't want to. I presumed it had been about his question but he had been too gentlemanly to ask. Raoul and I eventually made it to the dining room. It was beautiful to say the least. A high dome ceiling made of beautiful crystal glass, directly beneath it was a clock on the wall with angels carved into wood so dark that it rivaled the deck. The staircase Raoul and I descended was so grand, the stairs were made of marble and opened widely at the bottom with gold railings to help made the descend easier on the patrons. People were buzzing around the dining room talking to one another. Raoul had spotted my parent's fairly quickly talking to a man sporting a white beard and captain's dress. I had assumed he was the captain my mother wanted to so eagerly dine with and I wasn't mistaken.

"Christine, Raoul" my mother smiled as we walked up to them. I released Raoul's arm almost immediately "I'd like you to meet someone, this is Captain Smith."

"A pleasure to meet you sir" I curtsied to the man who looked all of his sixty three years.

"As to you miss Daae" he smiled slightly beneath his beard and he bowed slightly before coming back up "I was just inviting your mother and father to supper at my table. Would you and Mr. DeChangy care to join?"

I looked back at Raoul who nodded slightly, "Why yes, of course sir. It would be an honor to dine with you." I smiled as the captain led the way to his table. I once again took Raoul's arm and I couldn't help but think about my mother who must have took the inititave to talk to the captain himself.

Once we made it to the table, the captain took a seat at the head; my mother took a seat next to him on his right and my father on his left. Two extra chairs had been brought for Raoul and I except they were on opposite sides of the table. I was secretly thankful for that and set next to a man who I thought was very handsome.

"Good evening sir." I looked over at him and smiled.

"Good evening Miss" He nodded slightly before he turned to the conversation my mother was having with the captain.

I took this opportunity to study the man. He was obviously tall and his dark hair was cut short and precise. His shoulders were broad; I presumed he was muscular under his fine outfit as his skin was tanned by the sun so I figured he had worked on ships his whole life, working his way up to where he was now. As he faced away from me I wondered what color his eyes were. Mine were a dull shade of brown like my hair. I imagined them to be a brilliant green like the hills of Ireland, or blue like the ocean below us. I thought of them maybe to be sky blue or even a wonderful mix of brown and green with specks of blue. Either way, as much as I saw of the man sitting next to me already, he was gorgeous and his eye color wasn't going to change that.

The waiter came over and took our orders a few minutes after the captain had sat down. He himself ordered salmon and a few other items that were lost to me among the chatter. My father ordered Filet Minons lili along with creamed carrots and boiled rice. My mother ordered lamb with green peas and rice. Raoul ordered the Roast duckling with chateau potatoes and apple sauce. The man next to me ordered sirloin of beef, chateau potatoes and mint sauce. I however, dined on roast squab and cress. It was delicious and much different than what I would have expected. After supper we each enjoyed a small serving of French ice cream, which had been my favorite since I was young.

"Mr. Ismay" I looked across the table at him "your ship is magnificent, a true wonder of the world." I smiled slightly "Please, tell me where you thought up the name?"

Bruce Ismay put his spoon down. From sitting at the table with him for this short time I noticed that he liked to talk about two things, letting this ship make headlines in America and Himself. He wiped his beard free of ice cream and looked at me and placed the napkin down "Well Miss Daae." He cleared his throat so people at the table would pay attention "It's simple really." He shrugged a shoulder "I named her Titanic because it means huge, after titan the giant of course."

I smiled and looked at him "The design on this ship is excellent, you must be so proud." I smiled and took a sip of my water "I'd honestly love a tour of the ship. It's fairly large and I'm afraid I'd get lost!" I giggled.

Mr. Ismay nodded "sometime tomorrow Miss daae? I'll see to it myself that one of the finest men aboard the ship take you on a tour. If not it shall be Mr. Andrews or myself."

I smiled "That would be lovely thank you."

Mr. Ismay stood up and so did the other men "Now men, are you ready for some cigars and brandy?"

I stifled a giggle and moved out of the way for the man next to me. "Mother, if you don't mind I think I'll retire early tonight." I took a drink of my water before I stood up "Tiring day"

My mother smiled and nodded "I understand Christine. Goodnight." My mother grabbed Raoul's arm before he left with the other men "Raoul, if you wouldn't mind taking Christine up to her room? Wouldn't want her to get lost" she gave a slight chuckle. It was obvious she had too much to drink.

"Mother—" I protested

"No Christine." Raoul grabbed my arm gently "don't protest, it's just a walk up to your room, nothing more. Besides this is a rather large ship and I'm sure you don't remember the way." Raoul winked at my mother and led me through the dining room and up the staircase.

"I would like to let you know Raoul that I know the way perfectly well. I'm not going to get lost on a ship! I'm sure I'd find my own way if I was to get lost! You have no right on telling me that I wouldn't remember the way!" I looked at him and tore my arm away from his "Now that we are in private I don't feel the need for you to be so polite in escorting me to my room."

"Christine, I'm only doing it for your own good." He grabbed my arm and steered me away from a corridor "see, you just about went down the wrong corridor."

I looked at him "Well I'm terribly sorry that I don't know my way around the ship but just because I'm a lady doesn't mean I can't learn." We arrived to the stateroom in silence "Good evening Raoul." I mumbled to him before I opened the door with the key and bid him farewell once again and disappeared into the room.

I leaned against the door and placed my hand on my chest. I gathered myself and made my way into the room I decided to sleep in for the duration of the trip. I forced my corset off my body and slipped into my white nightgown. It came to my ankles with lace at the bottom, it had been previously owned my grandmother and I loved it.

That night I didn't get much sleep. I heard my mother enter the room and go to bed, I heard the waves below and the engines gently vibrated the ship. To say the least, my first night on Titanic was a rough one, and I only hoped that they got better.

**Authors Note:** _I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far. Since it's the 100__th__ anniversary of the titanic's sinking I've been in a titanic mood. I've always loved the story of the titanic and I'm trying to stay true to everything about her. I'm not good about period writing but I am trying to improve. I'm also trying to steer clear of the jack Dawson/rose story. Although Christine and Erik are going to kind of meet on the same basis and develop a romance in a short period of time, that's about all of it. As for the title of the story I thought it would be fitting as we all know the titanic's demise and I thought how perfect it would be if someone could just live in love for just a little while. Does this mean Christine or Erik is going to die? I don't know, maybe you should keep reading ;)_


	2. The Chief Officer

The sun broke through the sky early that morning. I pulled on my robe and made my way out into the sitting room. The deck that I had failed to notice the day before was now filled with my mother chatting and a tiny blond female. I figured she was our maid who had decided to finally show up. When I entered the deck my mother smiled and motioned towards a seat in front of her.

"How did you sleep darling?" my mother sipped on her tea.

I shrugged and slipped into a chair "I didn't sleep well last night. I must have dozed off between three and four in the morning though." I smiled at the blond girl who was now placing a tea cup in front of me on the table.

"Perhaps the fight you had with Raoul kept you up." My mother sipped her tea and raised her eyebrows "I know you don't want to think about it Christine, but when I was your age I was married and I had you already." She placed a hand on mine "You have to give Raoul an answer soon darling. He's being patient to you, but I can tell he'd like an answer."

I sighed and moved my hand "I know mother, it's just… I don't believe that he's the right one for me. Whenever I get married I want it to be for love." I looked at her and smiled "Like you and father did" I stirred a sugar cube into my tea and sipped at it.

My mother removed her hand from the table "Christine, you can't be so picky. Raoul is perfect for you and you'll be well off once your father and I are gone."

I looked at her and placed my tea on the table "He's not perfect for me mother, He's perfect for father."

At that statement we both let out a hearty laugh and finished our tea. The tiny blond helped my mother and I into our corsets and into our dresses. My mother wore a simple crimson red gown, I however wore a periwinkle blue natural waist lined dress it was made of silk and was adorned with large roses on the fabric. A lace collar dropped down from my neck and ended at the middle of my bust, a darker periwinkle blue jacket accented the dress with a belt that had a rose on the front. I loved the dress as it made me feel like I was a walking flower arrangement and I loved those dearly. I decided that I would wear my hair up so that the hat would fit better. The hat was a large straw type hat with the same color poof on the right side that was fairly large.

"My dear" my mother smiled "I've always loved this color on you. Spin for me would you?" she questioned and as I spined my coat tail wrapped around me causing me to laugh slightly "Now Christine, Your father and I are going to be eating breakfast in the dining hall. You're welcome to join us if you'd like."

I looked at her and shook my head "Thank you mother, but I'm not that hungry this morning." I smiled and walked out the door with her "I think I'm going to explore the first class deck for a while before I get my tour."

My mother smiled and placed her hand on my cheek "Alright, join us for dinner at the Café Parisian, it's on B deck. I'm sure your tour guide would show you the way." My mother smiled and removed her hand from my cheek "Please ask him if he'd like to join. I'd love to meet Mr. Andrews if he is your guide." She smiled and made her way down the deck.

I smiled and made my way towards the edge. I leaned on the railing and clasped my hands together looking out at the endless sea in front of me. I looked down into the sea below and smiled as I saw two dolphins dancing along the side of the ship. "So beautiful" I whispered before moving away from the edge and making my way further down the deck. A father and son were playing with a spinning top and a few ladies were sunbathing, other than that the deck was empty.

I turned down a corridor and went down a staircase. I passed people who were walking in their swimming outfits. I smiled knowing that there was a swimming pool aboard. I loved swimming in the south of France when my family went on vacation and I was sure that I would love it aboard the titanic just as much. I passed the swimming pool and turned down a hallway that twisted and turned in all directions. I could see how it was easy to get lost on the ship, she was gigantic. I made another turn and moved further down the ship. The conditions of the room weren't as beautiful as they were up in first class, so I assumed I had hit second class.

When I hit third class is when I had started to panic. The plush carpeting was gone revealing bare floor painted red; the doors looked like they led to smaller rooms than the second class but that wasn't why I had started to panic. Amidst all the doors I somehow got tangled up in the passageways and staircases of the third class.

"Hello?" I called as I walked down a narrow passage way with a door at the end. Two passageways were on either side of the door "Hello!" I called out again. I heard a noise coming from behind the door, men's voices so I assumed it was a secret club for the men "Can anyone help me?" I called and reached the door "Please!" I begged and reached for the door handle.

The door opened up suddenly and a man appeared "missus such as you shouldn't be down here."

My stomach dropped as I saw the sight of the man. His face was covered in coal and his clothes were practically rags. His hand, which was now tightly gripping mine, was also covered in soot, making my hand the same color as his.

"Please…" I begged "I need to get back to the deck. I'm lost."

The face smiled showing brilliant white teeth against a dark brown face "Ah missus, yer gona have ta pay the consequences fer wonderin down dis far in da ship." A dark chuckle erupted from his throat "OY! Seamus! Look what we caught ourselves!"

The man named Seamus walked over whipping a few fingers down my face "Aye" he grinned. His teeth weren't as white as the first guy's but they were better than what I imagined "What'cha doin with 'er boss?"

The man grabbed my chin forcing my head up. He looked at me intently "Rich she is." He scoffed and looked at Seamus "Think we'd get a pretty dollar fer 'er?"

I wimpered as his grip on my chin tightened "Please, let me go." I said through gritted teeth.

"Ye hear that Geraldo?" Seamus laughed

"Yes, the Young lady would like to be let go."

The voice startled Geraldo so much that he let go of my chin, which was now covered in soot and red marks. The voice had also startled Seamus that he had ran back into the room that I would have went to.

"Sir." Geraldo said standing up straight.

"So Mr. Summon what _were _you going to do with this young lady here?" The man crossed over to me and stood in front me as if he was being my personal barrier.

"Well er.." Geraldo scratched the back of his neck and I watched intently. What was he planning to do with me if the man in front of me had not come to my rescue? I didn't want to know "Ye see sir, I was going ta take 'er down to the broilers. Show 'er how em worked. Ya know ship stuff."

The man nodded and clasped his arms behind his back. I watched intently "I see. Mr. Summon, if I were you I'd take special precaution not to get back on this ship. The captain will most certainly hear about you assaulting a first class passenger and not only a first class passenger but a lady." Geraldo mumbled something incoherent and moved quickly back into the broiler room. "As for you Ma'am"

I looked at him, my stomach twisting into knots. This was the man that I had sat next to at the table last night, only he looked different. I noticed a scar that moved from the edge of his left eyebrow down past his eye, but his eye didn't seem damaged at all. "I was exploring the ship when I got lost." I noticed myself shaking so hard that it was unbelievable. "I didn't mean to come down here honest! I called out for someone to help me and they came…" I buried my face in my hands and let out a sob.

"Ma'am…" The man put a hand on my shoulder, which was practically engulfed under his hand.

"Ch—Christine" I sniffled. "Please, Call me Christine." I looked up at the man and into his eyes which were a deep blue.

"Christine…" He seemed to soften a little at the sight of me crying "I'd be happy to show you back to your cabin if you'd allow." He pulled the hankerchief out his breast pocket and handed it to me.

I graciously took it and wiped my eyes "Thank you." I whispered "I'd love to go back to my cabin but" I paused "Last night at supper I was promised a tour of Titanic. I'm afraid that I might have missed the tour." I chewed on my lip and looked at the man "You said you knew the captain?" I wiped my eyes again as he nodded "Well, I was wondering if you could tell him I am still interested in the tour."

He led me to a corridor and gave a slight shrug "I believe I was supposed to be the one giving the tour to a Miss Daae. You're not her are you?"

I smiled slightly and nodded "Yeah, I am." I looked at him "Might I ask who you are sir? I believe I sat next to you at supper last night, I fear I didn't catch your name."

He looked at me and led me down another corridor "I'm First Captain Holloway." He glanced at me "But you may call me Erik."

I smiled and looked at him "That's a lovely name, Erik." I scuffled behind him "May I ask where we are going?"

He turned around and smiled slightly "We are here." He gestured to a large golden lift with a bellboy inside.

My stomach did flips and my face lit up "A lift?" I questioned "I've never been on one." I laughed "My mother" I looked up at him as he ushered me in "Always said that a lady was to take the stairs to keep her figure." I raised my eyebrows and looked at him "If I may be bold, but a corset does the same thing."

He let out a hearty chuckle, like he hadn't laughed in years. "Well miss, you certantly were bold." He clasped his arms behind him again and looked at the bell boy "Boat deck if you will."

"Certantly." The boy nodded and lifted us up.

I grabbed onto the solid gold railings and held my stomach. I wasn't sure that I enjoyed elevator rides too much. Finally the lift stopped and I rushed out and to the edge of the boat, trying to get my footing back "I most certantly do not want to ride one of those ever again." I glanced at Erik.

He surpressed a grin and nodded "If you wish."

I smiled slightly and finally wiped my hand off "Why are we on the boat deck? There are just life boats here."

He nodded "yeah, But it's at the very top of the ship."

I looked around "There are only twenty?" I looked at Erik "I did the math in my head, ten on this side; ten have to be on the other."

He nodded "yes, twenty."

I crossed my arms and clutched onto the handkerchief "How many can fit to a boat?" I walked along the deck running a hand along the boats.

"sixty per boat."

I chewed on my bottom lip "how many people on board?"

Erik looked puzzled "Two thousand four hundred and thirty five soul's onboard ma'am"

I inhaled sharply "There are simply not enough boats to handle them. Twenty four boats will only hold a little over a thousand. What if something happened? What if the ship were to sink?"

Erik patted me on the shoulder and smiled slightly "That's just it, Titanic will not sink. God himself could not sink her"

I chewed on my bottom lip. As grand as the ship was, as many water tight compartments I heard that she had, I was certain that she would sink if she had struck something. I was almost certain that nothing in this world would be able to stay afloat.

"Oh." I looked at him and smiled uneasily "shall we move on, Erik?"

Erik nodded and showed me the rest of the boat. We made our way to the swimming pool which he informed me was filled with Alanatic sea water. We also went to the workout area, and he showed me around to all six restaurants, although I knew I wouldn't be dining in the second or third class restaurants. He also showed me the grand dining room, which I had already been in.

A piano sat in the middle of the room where the four man orchestra had been playing previously.

"A piano!" I exclaimed a smile stretched on my face.

"You play?" He moved me towards the piano.

I snorted "I wish! My mother plays though, and I sing with her." I smiled and ran my fingers down the ivys "She told me she didn't want me to learn how to play because my voice was unlike any other she had heard and didn't want to quiet her songbird." I smiled and pushed on a key and jumped slightly as it echoed through the emptiness. "Erik…" I looked at him "My mother would like to know if you'd take the pleasure to join us for dinner?" Erik nodded, a silent reply.

"Before we make our way to…." He looked at me

"Café Parisan"

"Before we make our way to café Parisan you might want to wipe the coal off your face." He once again tried to surpress a grin, but this time he lost his fight and it appeared.

I laughed slightly and playfully slapped him in his arm "Why, you let me walk around this whole ship with soot on my face?"

He shrugged and opened his mouth to say something but then quickly closed it. "Lead the way madam." He said after a minute.

I made my way to the state room that my mother and I shared, Erik close behind on my heels. I opened the room and offered Erik a seat in one of the oversized chairs while I washed my face free of coal dust. While in the bathroom I noticed how easy it was to laugh with Erik and how we instantly seemed to click and talk like we were old friends. He had saved me from something that could have been terrible, so I owed him a great debt. If it wasn't for him, I could have been the one powering the titanic right now, and I wasn't talking about shovling coal.

I wiped the soot away from my face, making a mental note that I would thank Erik properly later, because I was sure that I didn't do it when he had came to my rescue. I applied some powder to my chin to conceal the red that was still lingering and added blush back to my cheeks, the way my mother had it.

"Let's go get dinner." I said leaving the wash basin behind in my room "I'm positively famished."

Erik nodded and we made our way to the Café. My mother spotted me before I had spotted her and made her way towards us in the crowded café.

"Christine," my mother smiled and enveloped me in a hug, "how was your tour darling?"

I looked at her and smiled "Oh, it was wonderful. Mr. Holloway here took me on a lift!" I giggled as my mother Erik and I walked to the table. Being ever the gentleman he pulled my chair out for me and for my mother before sitting to the right of me, which just so happened to be between Raoul and I. "I can't say that I would do it again, but it was exhilarating!" I laughed.

My father smiled and extended a hand to Erik "Thanks for taking care of my little girl Mr. Holloway."

Erik looked at my father and shook his hand as well "No problem sir."

My mother took a sip of her water and eyed Erik over the glass. "So Mr. Holloway, what is it that you do aboard the ship?"

Erik looked at my mother "Well ma'am, I'm chief officer. I'm in charge of the ships cargo and the deck crew. Also," he paused and took a sip of water "excuse me, also in charge of safety and security which include things like training the crew in firefighting and search and rescue." He paused for a while "Also I'm in charge of taking watch at nights. Well—tonight at least."

My father looked at him "Such a responsibility for a man of..."

"Twenty-eight sir"

My father looked impressed and then took a bite of the food that was on his plate. I wasn't sure what it was but it looked like scallops. My father and I looked alike. He had a mop of curly brown hair which my mother fussed over constantly and deep brown eyes. His ancestors were from Spain but over time they had moved to England and resided there where they built their company from the ground up. I remembered my father telling me something about the business that I would someday inheret, but I didn't take much interest.

"Well Mr. Holloway" my mother broke my train of thought "Where do you come from? How can such a young man get such a high position on a boat?"

I looked over at her and smiled "Ship."

My mother chuckled "Ship."

Erik seemed amused and looked at my mother "Well Ma'am, I am from Southampton" he said proudly "Grew up at the sea. My father was a fisherman so I worked on boats my whole life, worked on other fishing boats throughout my life, got to my first cruise liner a few years ago and got promoted from there." He took a sip of his drink "I plan on being captain of the Titanic one day ma'am."

My mother smiled and looked at him "Such ambitions." My mother looked at me and gave me a smile.

"A captain is barely enough to support someone Mr. Holloway." Raoul chirped in.

Erik looked slightly confused "Well Sir, you obviously have not been a captain on a ship these days."

Raoul scoffed "if you'd excuse me, I've lost my appetite." Raoul put his napkin on his plate and got up, leaving the room.

I wasn't sure why Raoul was in such a grumpy mood, but I had a feeling it had something to do with Chief Officer Erik Holloway. The DeChangys were famous for their wonderful opera houses, and Raoul himself was famous for a certain French opera house disaster for which he never spoke of. I had heard that it was about a lady that had gotten pregnant with an illegitimate child of his, so he burned the opera down himself as the lady was found inside. But I found it hard to believe as Raoul had always been a gentleman to me.

As lunch progressed my mother got deeper in conversation with Erik. They talked about the time they would reach New York City, my mother told Erik she always wondered what it was like where as Erik said he would be back in England the beginning of may aboard the titanic. When my mother was tired of talking, she directed Erik to my father and they talked about my father's business and didn't steer much off topic of that.

"Mr. Holloway." My mother said tiredly "Would you be a dear and join us for supper tonight? You'd be a welcomed guest at our table. Mr. Bruce Ismay is joining us as well."

Erik shook his head "I'm sorry I'll have to decline ma'am. Afraid tonight I'm on watch, but I thank you for the invitation."

My mother frowned "well I'm sorry to hear that. Please don't forget to bundle up, it's supposed to be chilly out tonight." My mother placed her napkin on her plate "Now if you gentlemen don't mind, I think Christine and I will nap before tonights supper." My mother stood up.

I shook my head "Actually mother, I'm fine, I think Mr. Holloway was going to show me the rest of the ship, we didn't get to see much before dinner." I glanced over at Erik.

He nodded "I was, if that was alright with you sir?"

My father nodded "Yes, yes quite alright. Let's go Virginia." My father stood up and escorted my mother out of the Café.

I looked over at Erik and smiled "Thank you. I really would like to see more of the ship."

And with that Erik and I walked out of the café and he showed me the ship until I was able to get around it myself.


	3. Lookout Surprises

Erik had led me throughout the ship and back to the stateroom just in time for my mother and I to get ready for supper. I was disappointed that I had to be separated from the man I had become friends with so fast. He was easy to get along with and he seemed to really listen when I spoke, unlike Raoul who had more often than not went into his own world when I spoke about Shakespeare or the works of Vivaldi.

"Mother, I'm back. I'm going to go ahead and get ready for supper." I made my way back into the room as my mother said something. I was too distracted to hear what she had said as my thoughts once again turned back to Erik. I dressed in a simple evening gown made of black lace with peacock feathers decorated along the bottom. A royal blue peacock decorated the bust of the dress spreading its tail feathers along the quarter length sleeves. It was truly a sight to behold and the silk teal ribbons on the arms and the bottom of the dress made it even more dazzling. I wondered if Erik had saw it, if he would like it just as much. I sat down on the bed and looked at my hands. There was no way I could have liked a guy romantically after personally knowing him not even a day. Erik did save me from the men below deck, used himself as a shield between them and me.

I left the room to find Raoul waiting on me outside the door "Oh, good evening Raoul." I smiled slightly and took his arm.

"Good evening Christine." He looked down at me "have you thought about my question at all? I'd like to give an official statement when we reach New York."

I looked at him and shook my head "I—I don't know. I'm still thinking about it." I looked over to the side of the ships railing and inhaled deeply. "A official statement?" I questioned after a long pause.

Raoul nodded "my father told me that I should, it would be great publicity."

I shook my head and made my way down the grand staircase to D Deck in silence. The meal was delicious, as my table dinned on filet minion, lobster stew along with delectable desert. The wine flew freely around the table, causing everyone to laugh loudly and drink more. Titanic's spirits always flowed freely and at any time of the day. Something that was favorable of my father and Raoul, who spent most of their time in the smoking room. After supper I left for my bedroom as my mother stayed with Molly Brown and Madeline Astor, who was five months pregnant; A very delicate condition for a lady to travel in. It was also supposed to be a secret that she was with child, but it had been gossiped about the previous day and was no longer a secret. I was able to leave after calling a headache but I had to be honest to myself, If Erik wasn't there, there was no reason I needed to be there either.

When I made my way back to the stateroom I dressed in my night gown and my robe. If I was to be faking a headache, I had to make it look real. At one point my mother came into my room and rubbed my head for a while. Eventually she left my room and went to her own shutting the door gently. I waited a few minutes before I got out of bed. I left my room and got a quick glance on the clock ontop of the fireplace.

"Ten." I whispered and looked around before padding out onto the deck. I moved quickly and silently and found my way into the kitchens of the first class dining room down on D Deck.

"Passengers aren't supposed to be back here."

I turned around and saw the chef "I'm sorry." I watched him cross his arms "I was wondering, if it wouldn't be too much of a bother, if I could get some food to take to a friend." He looked at me suspiciously "I'm sure the chief officer would appreciate it."

The chef looked at me and in a language I couldn't understand he spoke to his team. In a matter of minutes a plate was presented to me full of food from the dinner the rest of the first class passengers dinned on earlier that night.

"Please, give it to him, courtesy of Antonio. He'll know who I am."

I smiled and graciously took the plate "Thank you so much sir." I turned to leave but turned back around to Antonio "I'd also love to complement you on the meal tonight. It was the most delecticable thing I've eaten." I watched him blush and I held out the plate "Thanks again!" and rushed back out of the kitchens.

I made my way to the bow of the ship, moving in and out of shadows quickly and quietly. Then as if it just jutted up from the ground I saw the lookout post. It was a lot taller than I had imagined and I wasn't sure how I was going to get myself and the food up to Erik. I chewed on the bottom of my lip and made my way to the ladder. It was cold on the palm of my right hand and on the pads of my feet. I placed the back of my left hand on the railing and slowly and steadily made my way up to where Erik was staying, or at least I hoped. Half way up I paused and listened to a bit of rustling in the crow's nest. I wondered if Erik could hear me, or if he was getting ready to come down himself. I looked up and noticed no one was coming so I proceeded upwards.

After about another five minutes of balancing the food on the plate, and myself with one hand I made it to the very top. I placed the plate gently on the steel and pushed my body up through the tiny hole. I laid on my stomach and pulled the rest of my body through and laid there for a minute breathless.

"I was wondering who was coming up here so slowly."

I looked up at the source of the voice and buried my face in my arms stifling a laugh "I'm sorry I came up here so slowly. I came to bring you this" I lifted my head and grabbed the plate and held it up to Erik. "It's probably bone cold by now, but it's something. I didn't know if you were hungry or not."

I listened to a low laugh escape his throat as he took the plate I offered "Well thank you, Christine." He looked down at the plate and then set it down, helping me to my feet.

"You're welcome" I smiled and rubbed my hands on my robe "Well, I better get back to my room."

Erik looked crestfallen "Okay."

I thought for a moment. It seemed as if Erik didn't have company and that he was dreadfully bored, besides, I took this as a moment I could get to know Erik a little better and know if the feelings I had towards him were true, or if it was just because he had saved me from the men below. "You know what." I looked at him and smiled slightly "I don't believe I've gotten the grand tour of this part of the ship." I laughed slightly "Besides, you can see so much up here! It's fantastic!"

He laughed "And it's dreadfully boring." He handed me the plate back and led me to the front of the crows nest where I found two seats and a single blanket. It was obvious that there was supposed to be another person up here patrolling the same time Erik was, but I didn't question where they were. "Please, sit." I sat down in the seat that the blanket was not resting and Erik sat down next to me in the other seat taking the plate. "This was for supper?" he questioned.

I nodded "oh yes. It was delicious!" I smiled and laughed slightly "Warm of course." I smiled and pulled silverware out of my pocket "I wasn't going to make you eat with your fingers." I laughed.

He laughed and rested the plate on his legs "Thanks again Christine." He looked at me and gave me a half smile.

I smiled and looked back at him "It's the least I could do after what you did down below the ship." I rested a hand on his and gave it a squeeze gently "thanks so much."

Erik nodded "Don't mention it." He looked down at the plate "What is it?"

I laughed and pointed "this looks like the Filet Minion that I had at supper. It's fantastic." I smiled and then pointed at another part of the plate "those look like steamed carrots" I squinted and looked closer at the plate "or glazed carrots." I shrugged "Either way they are carrots!" I laughed. "Oh and this…" I pointed to a bowl that was on the plate with white lumps in it "This is French ice cream. The most delectable item on the plate!"

He looked at the plate and grinned "I've had French Ice Cream. It really is the best." Erik laughed slightly and started to eat. We sat in silence as he cut through the meat and picked at the carrots. I watched out at the sea silently.

"Erik" I said after a while "I want to apologize for the behavior of my father's traveling companion Raoul. He seemed jealous and he acted irrationally."

Erik shrugged and wrapped the blanket around my tiny shivering body "Don't worry about it Christine. I've encountered men who were much more hostile." He rubbed my arms up and down to try to warm me up quicker. After I stopped shivering he stopped rubbing my arms and after about ten minutes he spoke again "Why would he be jealous, and what of?"

I looked up at the sky "Because, He wants my hand in marriage and I'm not sure that I want him to have it." I bit my bottom lip "He asked me a week ago, and I still haven't given him an answer." I laughed slightly "He's just not for me, yet he wants me to be. Even my mother wants him for me. She wants me to be financially stable." I shook my head.

"Well…." Erik said slowly. He leaned back in his seat and crossed his legs and his arms. "Why don't you want to? Marry him I mean."

I laughed again "because when I do marry, I want it to be for love and not for money." I looked back up at the sky and pulled my knees to my chest "I wouldn't care if I had all or none of the money in the world. If I married someone I had loved, I'd be rich all the time."

After that Erik and I sat in silence. Somewhere throughout the night I fell asleep with my head resting on Erik's shoulder. I woke up early enough where Erik was still awake. "Good Morning." I mumbled and stretched slightly "How long was I asleep?"

Erik pressed a finger against my lips and pointed out to the sea. "shh." He whispered and looked back out at the sea. I followed his eyes and saw it. I had woken up just in time to see a beautiful sunrise. I had never seen a sunrise quite as beautiful as I had when I was on the Titanic. The oranges and reds complemented the blue ocean.

"oh!" I gasped and stood up "Oh, I.. I have to leave!" I placed the blanket down in the chair.

"I'll escort you to your room."

I shook my head "No, no it's quite alright." I moved to the ladder and Erik followed closely behind "Thank you for letting me stay up here, you could have woke me up once I fell asleep." I laughed slightly and put my bare feet on the ladder prong "It was a beautiful sunrise!" I moved quickly down the freezing steel ladder and raced quickly along the deck and slipped into my bed just as I heard my mother stir. I relaxed into my bed and pillow and cuddled deep into the sheets, falling back asleep within minutes.

I woke up around noon; I suppose my mother had let me sleep in later because of my supposed headache the night before. I slipped myself out of bed and let the tiny blond girl help me into my corset after I had washed up and slipped my undergarments on. I dressed myself in a white dress with navy blue pinstripes down the length of it. A navy blue poof situated at my neck completed the outfit, aside for the hat that I decided I'd put on when I got to the deck. I pulled my hair up in the latest fashion I had seen in London and left out of the room.

"Your mother told me to tell you that if you were to wake before dinner that she'd be in the café." The blond girl smiled slightly.

I smiled and nodded "Thank you."

I left the state room and slipped the hat on my head and made my way to the back of the ship. I wasn't hungry for food, far from it actually. I had been hungry for the company of Erik. I sighed and walked to the back of the ship and leaned on the railing looking out at the foamy bubbles the propellers were making. I wondered if I was going to see Erik again, I wasn't sure if he would be at supper tonight, and I wasn't sure if he was going to be on watch. I sighed and straightened up and walked back down the length of the ship. I decided that I was going to search for Erik.

I got half way down the length of Titanic when I decided that instead of being the anti-social woman my mother dreaded, I'd head down to dinner. I searched the Café that my mother loved so much for its airy atmosphere. I spotted my mother with my father, Raoul and another man at a table near the window.

"Mother, Father." I smiled as I approached the table, my hat now hanging loosely in my hands.

The man at the table stood up and turned around, the scar over his eye and under his lip was unmistakable. "Good afternoon Miss. Daae." Erik took my hand and kissed the fingers, just like the gentleman he was brought up to be. "Your mother was just telling me about the headache you had last night. I hope you're feeling better."

I looked at him and nodded slightly "Yes, I'm feeling wonderful. Thank you." I searched his face "please, sit." I offered him the chair he just got out of.

He shook his head and dropped my hand "No thank you miss. I have watch again tonight, must catch up on some sleep." I looked at him in the eyes, which had a special twinkle in them "I believe it's the last one." He looked at my family "I'd hope so, you're all entertaining to dine with."

My mother smiled and raised her glass of water "Our pleasure to entertain you First Officer Holloway." My mother laughed and took a drink.

I smiled slightly and then looked back at Erik "Well then, I suppose I shall see you tomorrow at supper."

Erik nodded and pulled out the chair for me to sit. When I did he pushed in my chair, bid my family and I good-bye and then left.

"Such a lovely young man" My mother smiled and looked at Raoul who's face held a scowl "Not as lovely as you deary."

I looked at my table and smiled slightly. I loved these people, each in their own way. My father was domineering and yet at the same time he was gentle. He was gentle enough to rock me to sleep when I was a child or ill yet strong enough to run his own company. My mother had a certain Jenaseyqua to her that most women didn't enjoy. I figured this is why my mother and Mollie Brown got along so well. Raoul I loved like a brother, he was protective when I had gone into the woods and- my thoughts paused. I had loved Raoul like a brother, nothing else. There would be no other feelings between Raoul and me.

I took a sip of my tea and smiled into my tea cup. Without her knowing it, titanic helped me sort out my life.

**Authors Note: **_I know that half of this stuff probably wouldn't have been happening on the titanic but for the sake of the story, it is Lol. It's unclear to me on what they would have done with the leftovers on the titanic although I believe they would have just put it elsewhere and no one would have bothered with it until they docked. I would also normally take Christine and Erik's relationship slow, but I mean right here this story is at April 12, 1912, three more days until the tragedy so yeah, it kind of has to go a bit fast ;)_


	4. Marabelle

I ate a light dinner at the café Parisian, I felt renewed at the revelation I had about Raoul. I suppose I knew it all along, but I didn't want to give him an answer and break his heart.

"Raoul" I glanced over at him from across the table "After we finish eating would you like to take a stroll along the deck?"

Raoul seemed to beam at the idea "Why yes Christine, it would be nice. Besides, you shouldn't be anywhere without an escort."

I scoffed a bit and looked at him "I'm quite eligible to walk around a ship without an escort. Besides, I'd love to show you the propellers. They are quite interesting." Raoul looked confused but shrugged it off. We all finished eating in silence.

After dinner my parents, Raoul and I dispersed on the deck. My parents went back to their staterooms. I was sure it was for alone time while Raoul and I talked.

"Christine." Raoul looked at me "We've walked at least a mile, please tell me what's on your mind." He shrugged and looked out at sea "it certainly wasn't to show me anything."

I inhaled sharply and paused to look at him. "Perhaps we should sit down and talk?" He nodded in agreement and led me over to two wooden chairs. A table sat neatly between the two and within a minute of sitting down, we were being serviced. "Nothing for us thanks" Raoul said to the lady. She curtsied slightly before leaving us alone "Christine."

I looked at him and grabbed his hands slightly "Raoul," I squeezed his hands and looked down at them intertwined "Remember when you used to escort me into the woods? You told me that you'd never let me go in there alone because of the lotte monsters that lived deep within them." I laughed slightly "Oh how I believed you. It wasn't until I was much older that I learned a lotte was a fisherman who fished with line."

Raoul laughed and nodded, his blond tresses bobbing up and down with his head movements "Yes, of course I do. I started calling you little lotte. Oh how you despised it."

I looked at him "But you kept at it!"

He laughed and swipped his thumbs across the top of my hands "Yes, because it pestered you."

I looked at him and gave him a slight smile "Raoul, you asked for my hand in the woods many years after you had told me that. I told you I'd think about it." Raoul's face went sollum "I have my answer" I paused, waiting for Raoul to say something but he didn't "I- I can't marry you Raoul. Sitting in the café, I just—" Raoul put a finger on my lips, just like Erik had did only twelve hours before.

"Shh." He looked at me "I always knew you'd say no. I knew you were too good to be true for me." He stroked my hair behind my ears "You have such a whimsical spirit Christine, you need someone who can follow your spirit wherever it takes you." He looked down in his lap "You're so filled with love Christine, and when you're in love, you'll know it." He chuckled a bit "but I already think you do."

I grabbed his hand and pressed it to my cheek "Thank you, so much for understanding Raoul." I looked at him, my cheek still resting in his hand "Promise me one thing?" He looked up at me "wherever our lives take us, promise to never lose touch. I value your friendship too much."

He looked at me and gently pulled his hand away "Always, Little Lotte." He pulled me into a hug and we embarrassed for a few minutes before he pulled away "Now, about those propellers?"

I chuckled and looked at him "I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anything else. They do however produce a lovely foam from the back of the ship." I pointed in the direction.

He stood up and offered his hand which I took for a moment "shall we walk?"

I nodded and we made our way towards the back of the ship. She really was grand in every sense of the word. The vast ocean made her feel small in comparison to what I had seen at the dock, but I knew she was large, and she was sturdy. She was unsinkable.

"So" Raoul said as we reached the end of the ship. He pulled a cigarette from his jacket pocket and lit it before he leaned over the side. It was the first time I had seen him smoke in public. He was normally very recluse about the whole thing "First Officer Holloway huh?" he looked over at me as he took a long drag off his cigarette.

I looked at the foam emitting from the back of the ship and blushed "It's nothing. We are friends." I looked over at Raoul who held an amused expression on his face. I laughed and rested my hands on the railing "Really!"

He looked at me and blew some smoke out "It doesn't seem like you two are friends. The way you two look at each other." He licked his lips and slipped the cigarette between them. "I do believe that your mother had said it you were in love with the man."

I laughed "That's absurd! I've known him for a mere forty-eight hours! You cannot fall in love with someone you barely know." I looked at him "Absurd." I laughed and looked out at the water. It wasn't completely impossible to love someone after forty-eight hours, my mother had done it with my father twenty five years earlier. I exhaled and then looked at Raoul "is it that obvious?"

He nodded "your mother said that you looked beautiful when you were in love. I suppose she whole heartedly believes that you're in love with me." He shrugged and took another long drawl.

I looked at him and touched his arm "Let's not tell my parent's until we dock. Please." I searched his face "please."

He nodded and I smiled slightly. Raoul and I stayed at the back of the ship until sunset where we both retired to our staterooms, each sworn to secrecy about the conversation that transpired after dinner. My mother decided that a simple black dress with beading would have been perfect for the night for me. In a way I had found it fitting as my physical relationship with Raoul was ending, but from the ashes, came new life. I felt anew. I felt free for the first time in a while.

After dinner I once excused myself because I fell ill with another headache. Or at least my mother had thought so. I slipped into the room and into my pajamas; soon afterwards my mother walked in and did the same thing she did the night before. After she was certain that I had fallen asleep she retired to her room and I waited until nine thirty before I stood up and slipped my robe on. I moved effortlessly in and out of the shadows through the hallways and into the kitchens. Antonio handed me a plate full of food, three different entrees, two sides and French ice cream. I quickly made my way back to where Erik and I had met the night before and slowly but surely made my way back up the ladder.

"Erik." I grunted as I once again pulled my body through the hole.

I heard a stirring from the front and then felt strong hands pull me up to my feet. "I was wondering if you got the clue."

I looked at him and smiled slightly "of course." I breathed heavily, my breath showing in the frigid night; my face already turning cold and my toes felt like they were going to fall off. "I—I couldn't wait to see-I" I swallowed "I couldn't wait to see the spectacular sight again"

Erik looked at me and then bent down quickly to grab the plate "Thanks for supper" he smiled and led me back to the front of the crow's nest. "Three different entrees?" he laughed as I handed him the silverware "how'd I get so lucky."

I looked at him and pulled my knees to my chest and my robe closed under my knees "Antonio" I stated.

Erik stared at me "Gracious man."

Erik placed his plate down on the floor of the crow's nest and wrapped the blanket around me again. This time he wrapped me up in his arms until I had stopped shivering before he had started eating his supper. I wondered if he felt the same way about me, but I also wondered a lot of things. I wondered how Erik had got the scar across his eye, the one at his bottom lip to the middle of his chin, how he knew Antonio and how he felt about me.

I looked at Erik's side profile and decided if there was any time to tell him how I had felt about him, it was now. If things went wrong I could simply jump, I was sure this high up on the mast the impact on the deck would kill me "I talked to Raoul today." Erik's head snapped over as if he had been waiting for this "I told him that I didn't want to marry him. I told him that…" I paused and thought "I didn't tell him anything actually, he cut me off. But he seemed understanding." I inhaled and aborted my eyes.

"Well, that's good. That he understands I mean."

I nodded "Yeah." I paused and waited until Erik was finished eating. I couldn't be brave, I didn't want to jump out of the crow's nest; I didn't want to die. But then I felt it, it was cool on my lips at first and tasted like the French ice cream I adored, and then it got warmer and the pressure on my lips increased, begging for me to part them, and I obeyed. My eyes had voluntarily closed at the beginning of what I was positive was heaven. I forced them open to see Erik pressed against my lips, one of his hands behind my head, holding me close and playing with my curls. I placed both of my arms around his neck and closed my eyes once again. Kissing Erik was unlike anything on this earth.

"Erik" I wimpered as he pulled away, I pulled at his lapels and pulled him back in for another kiss.

"Christine" He breathed heavily "I shouldn't have… it was out of line"

I pressed my forehead into his and shook my head "No, no it was completely in line." I leaned into him and dropped one and away from his neck and grabbed his hand "I promise." I laughed slightly and looked at him "If you must know, I was going to do something similar tonight." I smiled and kissed him gently "You just got to it first." I lied.

He looked at me and played with a curl before he tucked it behind my ear "is that why you brought me supper the past two nights?" he winked.

I laughed slightly "Yesterday was out of the kindness of my heart. Tonight was almost the same, but with a bit more of a motive." I laughed slightly and chewed on my bottom lip.

He laughed and looked at me "I knew it." He pulled me in for another kiss, his hands intertwining in my hair, my arms wrapping around him pulling him closer. Kissing Erik was like second nature. It felt natural with him, like it always must have been.

For the rest of the night Erik and I stole frozen kisses between sharing the French ice cream that I ate most of, and silences looking out into the night. I once again fell asleep, but Erik had made sure that I was awake to see the sunrise. It was beautiful just like the day before, except this time Erik and I welcomed April 13th with kisses and promises to see each other sometime that day.

"Well, Here's your stateroom" Erik looked at me after we both left the crows nest and made the way down to my room.

"See you soon?" I cupped his left cheek in my hand and rubbed my thumb across his textured cheek. He put a hand on mine and closed his eyes, I leaned in and planted a simple kiss on his lips.

He returned the kiss and nodded "Soon. I promise." He removed my hand from his face and kissed the top "I'd like to escort you to dinner tonight, if you'd let me."

I smiled and blushed a little "of course."

Erik gave a slight smile before he walked off. I slipped into the stateroom and made it to my bedroom door just in time.

"Christine, what are you doing up this early?" my mother yawed from her doorway.

I was almost positive I had been caught sneaking around after dark but thankfully she didn't notice "I was thirsty, thought the maid might be here, she's not." I yawned and stretched my arms.

My mother smiled slightly "well, your father decided that he'd like to swim today, you're coming with us." My mother moved like liquid and found her way towards me "when I got awful migraines when I was younger, physical exercise would make them feel better in the long run." My mother rubbed my cheek "you're freezing Christine."

I looked at her and shrugged "you're just really warm mother." I smiled and looked at her "Let me change, then we'll swim!" I turned around and shut my door, closing my eyes tightly trying to get the remaining sleep out of my eyes. I felt as if this was impossible and decided that I'd spend the rest of the day tired. I moved quickly and rummaged through my endless suitcases and found my bathing suit. It was a simple little frock. Shorts that went down to my knees and it filtered up to two straps at the top of the garmet. Thick blue horizontal stripes decorated the garmet, which looked just as hideous on as it did off. I hated the thing, it was worn and almost as old as I was. I had it for the past twelve years; my last growth spurt was when I was thirteen.

"Christine are you ready?" My mother tapped on the other side of the door.

"Yes, I'll be out in just a second." I called back and pulled my hair up in a style my mother used to put me in when I was a child. I pushed myself through the door and found my mother, father and Raoul all sitting in the sitting room waiting on me. I had to laugh slightly at the site that was before me. It seemed as if my whole family and Raoul had matching bathing outfits. "Look at you lot!" I laughed and spun around a little

Raoul laughed and stood up "decided to steal your stylish outlook, Christine." He winked and then looked back to my parents "shall we go?"

I nodded and followed my parent's and Raoul outside to the deck. We made our way to the swimming pool, which was flowing with life. Little children were laughing and jumping into the salt water declairing their jumps to be cannonballs. Women were lounging on the chairs and the men were in the pool with the children. I laughed slightly as I watched the tiny people move around effortlessly.

I followed my mother to a group of chairs and sat down. I noticed a little girl, about seven, walk up to the edge of the pool. She sat down on the edge and put her feet in the water but nothing else. I pardoned myself from my family and sat down next to her "afraid?" I questioned.

The little girl shook her head, her blond hair flapping against her face "no…"

I smiled slightly "Oh, it's okay to be afraid." I looked at her "I was afraid once too."

She looked up at me "You were?"

I nodded "Yes, it's only natural." I looked at the pool and slipped into it, the water coming up to under my bust. It was only five foot in the spot I was standing "I can teach you to swim. I've always wanted to teach someone." I giggled slightly "But everyone I know already knows how to swim."

The little girl nodded and laughed slightly "Okay! I'm Marabelle!"

I walked up to the edge "I'm Christine."

She smiled and put some of her blond hair behind her ears "I like that name!" her blue eyes beamed "You're really pretty."

I laughed slightly and looked at her "Thank you, you're really pretty yourself." I reached my arms out for the little girl. She looked at me apprehensively before she stood up and jumped in, just like the other children.

For the next three hours I stayed with the little girl named Marabelle. I learned all about her, that she was a third class passenger but she had met a really nice lady named Molly brown who offered to take her up here to swim. She also informed me about how she was from Belfast Ireland where titanic was built and how her daddy helped build it and how he was part of some special group. When asked I told Marabelle about where I grew up, London of course and she asked if I was married to the man I had walked in with. I told her no, that he was just a friend and she dropped the subject although she had a liking for Raoul. And somehow, through all the conversation I had taught Marabelle to swim. When Molly had summoned for the little girl, Marabelle wrapped her arms around my neck and told me goodbye. I couldn't help but smile and hope for the fact that one day I'd have a little girl just like marabelle.

"Who was that girl?" Raoul said as he made his way to me in the pool.

"Marabelle" I smiled and looked at him "She's a lovely young lady, full of life!" I laughed "I didn't know her but why shouldn't I have? It's how you make friends" I poked him in the side.

He laughed slightly and poked me back "You know Christine, you'd make a fine mother one day." He glanced at my parents who were ordering something from a boy in a white star line tux "Your parent's asked about your answer today." He swam to the end and I followed him, out of ear shot of my parents "I told them that we haven't talked about it. Your mother said that you had been acting suspicious, more so than usual. She knows you've been sneaking out at night, but she thinks it's to visit me." His grey eyes searched mine "You have to stop sneaking out."

I looked at him and sighed "I'm sorry Raoul." I looked at him "I'm honestly sorry I have to put you through this. It's not fair to you."

He looked at me and shook his head "No, what's not fair is if this guy is leading you on. Giving you false hopes."

I looked away and shook my head "I don't believe he is. I'd much rather not talk about this in the swimming pool." I looked over to the left of me "Kernal Gracie is right there." I jabbed my head over to the left "we both know he likes to talk."

Raoul let out a hearty laugh and moved back towards the end of the pool my mother and father were at "You're quite right, Christine. Quite right."

I laughed and leaned on the edge of the pool "Come in mother, the water isn't cold! Actually it's quite warm!"

My mother shook her head "No No dear. I'll stay right here." She covered her mouth, hiding a laugh "Oh! That rhymed!"

I laughed and hoisted myself out of the pool and moved towards my mother "oh mother" I smiled and placed a kiss on her cheek "Father, are you going to get in?"

He shook his head and laughed "no, I do believe Raoul and I are overdue for a card game down in the main dining room though."

Raoul looked shocked and then rushed out of the pool "Good day ladies!" he said hurridly and rushed out of the pool room at my father's heels.

I laughed slightly and looked at my mother "Mother… I have to tell you something." She made a noise which I took as go on "Well, yesterday I walked around the boat deck with First Officer Holloway." This sparked my mother's interest and she looked at me "And he had offered to escort me to dinner tonight. I accepted but I thought I'd pass that by you first hand."

My mother nodded slightly and looked back out into the pool "I suppose that is who you're sneaking off to see every night?" She looked back at me and I nodded "Well Christine, I can't say that I'm too happy with your behavior, sneaking off into the night. Things could happen, you could fall overboard and we'd never see you again child." My mother exhaled "But, I was just like you when I was younger, Although I never met your father on a ship." She winked at me "I could tell something was happening between you and first officer Holloway. I could see it in both of your eyes. What I don't understand Christine…" my mother pulled out a cigarette holder and placed a cigarette in the bottom of it. She lit it and took a long drag off it "is how you could find someone on a ship, and form a relationship in three days time."

I looked at her and shrugged "I don't know mother."

My mother sighed "Well, whomever you choose, Raoul or First Officer Holloway, I'm sure you'll make the right choice, and know that whatever path you choose in life, I'll always be there."

I smiled and leaned over wrapping my arms around her "Thanks mother." I inhaled and rubbed my palms on my knees "I think I'm going to go get ready for dinner."I smiled slightly and leaned over and kissed my mother on her cheeks "Thanks for understanding."

My mother smiled slightly and kissed my forehead "I know what it is like to be in love, Christine."

I smiled and left the swimming pool and made my way to my room to get ready for dinner. I noticed the calendar on the wall of my room that I had placed there during the beginning of our journey. April 13, 1912. I smiled slightly and crossed my lace covered arms in front of me. "Seven more days until we reach America" I mumbled, "Seven more days."


	5. First Class Poker

We dined in our stateroom. My father and Raoul had joined us and we all enjoyed a nice brisqit. We all laughed gaily and chatted up each other. We ended up playing poker at the table on the inside. My mother had lost a braclet, My father had lost twenty dollars and Raoul had lost a ten, all to me. I wasn't the best poker player, Normally, I'd always loose but Titanic had seemed to bring me luck.

"Christine, who taught you how to play?" my father shifted in his seat as he laid down his pocket watch.

Raoul looked at me and then back at my father "I don't know, but I assume she learned in that finishing school she went to."

I laughed and shook my head "Oh yes, finishing school. We played in our dorms at night. We cussed like sailors and smoked our cigars and drank our brandy!" I laughed, my family joining in. "Actually, no one has taught me. It seems as if Titanic is lucky!" I smiled and put my mother's bracelet back into the pot.

My mother scoffed and took off her earrings "These blasted things are hideous anyway." She mumbled and picked up her cards.

I smiled slightly and watched Raoul throw in a five. I glared at him and he put in another five. I nodded and looked at them "Are we ready?"

My father nodded "Two pair." He laid the cards down.

"Mother?"

She looked at her cards and then showed them to me "Tell me."

I laughed slightly "Nothing." I then looked at Raoul "do you have anything kind sir?" I laughed.

He looked at me "Straight Flush."

I sighed and leaned back into my chair "Well Guys and Gals. It seems as if Raoul was just a few cards short because I've got a Royal Flush." I laid the cards down on the table and crossed my arms, a smirk playing on my face "Read them and weep." I laughed and pulled my spoils towards me "Oh, look at the time," I said opening my father's pocket watch "It's about three, we've been playing for quite some time. I'm a bit famished." I stood up and stretched letting a yawn escape "I think I'll take a nap before supper tonight."

I smiled as I lifted the lace part of my dress and dumped my spoils into it. My mother winked at me and I smiled slightly bidding them all a good night. I walked back into my room and dumped the stuff on my bed. I sifted through the money, forty dollars all together, it wasn't bad. My mothers Bracelet and her matching earrings, I'd give her the bracelet back, but the earrings were mine for the taking. I loved them and they were my grandmas at one point. The pocket watch my father had put on the table was special to me. It belonged to his father and his Father's father. It was a family Heirloom, something I planned on giving my child one day. I was just glad I had grabbed it when I did because I was sure my father thought I'd marry Raoul and was bound to give him the pocket watch sooner or later.

After I had put my things up, I laid on the bed and had drifted into a wonderful sleep. My dreams were filled with Erik. From the day I had met him down near the boiler room, to the night he kissed me, when I had been too nervous to do so myself. I dreamed that when the ship had docked safely in the New York Harbor, My family Erik and I had made a life in New York City, a wonderful place that was full of lights and sounds, a city that truly never slept. I dreamed that Erik and I had our own apartment and our own little family, It was perfect. Life had been perfect, until I woke up.

I smiled slightly and looked out of the large window that decorated my room. It was nothing but sky and ocean. "Seven more days" I whispered to myself. Seven more days until I was docked in New York; where Erik and I could make a life together.

"Christine, wake up dear. It's almost time for supper." My mother gently tapped on the door.

I stretched and sat up "I'm awake mother." I called back and sat up. I decided that a black and white dress was perfect. It was black in the back with white in the front, a beautiful back overlay design popped out against the white and a salmon colored waist band was tied around my waist to form a bow in the back. I smiled and pulled my hair up tightly with difficult curling in the back. I wrapped a black chiffon scarf around my head and secured it under the hair and smiled. I looked stunning, if I were to toot my own horn.

"Christine." My mother said on the other side of my door again a short while later "I'm going to meet Raoul and Your father. Please don't take too much longer, you have a visitor."

My stomach flipped almost a thousand times as I checked myself over a few more times. I had to make sure that I was perfect for Erik. He was perfect to me, so why shouldn't I have been perfect to him? I exhaled deeply and opened the door. I saw him stand there, his back towards my door, looking at a picture that hung there. "I think it's Picasso."

Erik turned abruptly and a smile appeared on his face "Well, Nothing can compare to how beautiful you look."

I looked at him and blushed a little "Oh, stop it you!" I giggled slightly and walked towards him, fixing his lapels. "I have to say that you don't look to bad yourself." I stood on tippie toes and placed a light kiss on his lips. A warm sensation spread through my body, I thought it might be love.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back. It was just as wonderful as the first time we had kissed. "Shall we go to supper?" He kissed me once again.

"Do we have to?" I mumbled and buried my face into his arm. He wore a handsome tuxedo, a white shirt and black tie complemented the three gold rings around the cuffs. Metals were displayed on the breast of his tuxedo coat, and next to him, I looked frumpy.

He gave a hardy laugh and nodded "We must, I'm afraid." He pulled away from me.

He presented his arm and I graciously took it. "Well, if we must go, then we must." I laid my head on his arm and looked up at him.

He grinned and looked down "Yes, we must."

And with that Erik and I walked out of the door, only pausing slightly for me to secure the lock. We didn't hurry to supper, instead we took a leisurly stroll to the grand stair case, enjoying the stars. Erik pointed out the constolations and even had told me the longitude and Latitude we were at. He was so smart, so much smarter than I was with ships.

When we finally got down to supper my mother spotted us right away. She waved us over and her smile could stretch out longer than Titanic herself. "Christine! You look gorgeous." My mother wrapped me in her arms and then held me at arms length. "You put your hair up." She looked at my father "Gustave, look at this, our daughter put her hair up!"

My father laughed "Yes, I noticed. You look very lovely tonight, dear."

I smiled and looked at my mother and my father "Thank you both."

My father suddently looked up to Erik "Ah! First Officer Holloway! Great to see you again Old Chap!" My father stood up and knocked on Erik's back in the fashion most men do. I watched Erik being led to the other side of the table to sit between my father and Mr. Ismay, who I was sure, was lured in to the table by my mother. I placed a gloved hand to my mouth and giggled slightly.

I didn't speak much to Erik at supper. I was sat in between my mother and Margaret Brown, who were gossiping about Colonel John Jacob Astor's wife Madeline, who was considerably younger than he was. My mother told Margaret that she had preferred The Colonel with someone who was a bit older, a girl with brown hair and brown eyes from London. My mother was talking about me, of course. Although she was a lovely lady to be around, she always wanted me to marry into a wealthier family than my own, as she was certain that the million dollar inheritance I would receive when my parents died wouldn't hold me for the rest of my life. I was positive that it would, and that it would even help my child out, as I only planned on having one to spoil the rest of my life.

After the food had been served, after we had dined and after the deserts filled our stomachs to the very brim, Erik had stood up and excused himself. I too, excused myself after ten minutes time. My mother bid me farewell and told me to be careful, she didn't want me to fall off the edge of the ship. I laughed slightly and Kissed her cheek and my fathers before I had left out of the dining room. I spotted Erik as I walked up half the steps. He was sitting at a grand piano that was situated in the middle of the room, playing a lovely melody.

I turned around and walked back down the steps, confusing the elderly couple on the steps. I felt weightless as if the music was drawing me to it, using its melody as a cloud and forbidding me to go anywhere else. I joined the crowd that had gathered around the piano and pushed through it, as politely as I could. I had noticed that Piano's were scattered around everywhere, or at least two were in first class for public use. It encouraged the passengers to provide their own melody, which many did throughout the day and night.

"Ah, Miss Daae!" Erik said looking over at me "Your father told me that you have quite the singing voice." He winked at me and contuined to play. I blushed slightly and tried to hide my face in one of my gloves. He chuckled lightly "Please come entertain the masses Miss?"

I moved slowly up to where Erik was playing and sat down with him on the bench "What are you doing!" I whispered, half laughing, half filled with panic.

He laughed slightly "Your father told me that you were quite the singer. "

I leaned in close to him "I believe I was the one to tell you that sir."

He looked at me and laughed "Yes, but you're father also told me." He changed the tune "told me your favorite song to sing as well."

I looked at the piano, it was a song my mother always sang to me when I was having trouble coping with my grandfathers death. It had came from a opera my mother had watched in Paris when Carlotta was the most wanted Opera singer of the decade. My mother had said she sounded awful, my father however was in love with the songstress and said she had the voice of angels. I tended to agree with my mother.

I shot a glance at Erik and opened my mouth to sing, I wasn't going to stand up, and honestly I didn't think my legs would let me stand. The last public performance I had given was when I was fifteen.

"_Think of me, Think of me Fondly, when we've said goodbye. Remember me, once in a while please promise me you'll try. Then you'll find, that once again you long, to take your heart back and be free, if you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me._" I swallowed the lump in my throat, and looked at the way Erik's hands floated over the keys with expertise "_We never said, our love was evergreen, or as unchanging as the sea, but if you can still remember, stop and think of me. Think of all the things we've shared and seen. Don't think about the way things Might have been_." I looked around at the crowd that had now almost doubled in size, my mother standing there with one hand to her chin, tears in her eyes "_Recall those days, look back on all those times, Think of the things we'll never do. There will never be a day when I won't think of you!"_ Visions of my grandfather chasing me around in their backyard, following me into the woods, feeding me candies from the dish when grandma wasn't looking "_Flowers fade, the fruits of summer fade, they have their seasons so do we, but please promise me that sometimes, you, will, think_" I accended into a crishindo "_Of Me_!" I belted and the piano abruptly stopped just as I had, and then my world started to blur.

Applause filled the dining room, I looked around at all the clapping hands; The captain himself, John Jacob Astor, his wife Madeline, A man who I believed to be Thomas Andrews and of course my parents. I stood up and curtsied to show my appreciation to the clapping and then rushed away from the piano as quick as I could. I made it out onto the boat deck and clasped my hands on the railing, which was cool and welcoming under my sweaty palms.

"Christine?" I heard the voice behind me, or at least I thought the voice was behind me, I had felt dizzy and was unsure of where the voice was coming from. "Christine!" the voice was urgent, but that was all I had remembered.

I wasn't sure how long I had been passed out, but when I woke up, I was in a single roomed cabin. It seemed to be a first class cabin, but it wasn't as luxurious as the stateroom I had occupied. "Hello?" I croaked as I sat up.

Erik appeared from around the corner which proved to me that the cabin was bigger than I had believed, and relief etched all over his face "Christine, You're awake." Erik sat down on the side of the bed and gently laid me back down "You took a nasty fall on the deck. Seems as if you passed out" he looked at me slightly and pressed a cool hankerchief to my forehead.

"How long was I out?" I coughed, my throat was as dry as the desert, my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth.

He shrugged "About ten minutes, fifteen tops." He looked at his pocket watch.

I groaned "Oh, I remember that at the end of the song I had gotten really dizzy. I thought fresh air would help, but I think the salt water smell just made it worse." I looked up at him as he poured some water from a canteen into a cup and hand it to me. I sipped it feeling instantly relieved "I-I could have fallen over the railing. It's quite a drop to the next deck."

Erik rubbed his face "You did."

I looked at him dumbfounded "Pardon?"

He looked at me as I sipped at the water "When I had gotten to you, you were half way over the railing, grabbed you by your feet and the back of your dress…" he dug into his pocket, bringing out a clump of the salmon colored waist band in his hand.

I gasped and put a hand to my mouth, tears sprung up into my eyes "Oh.. Oh Erik!" I put the cup down and wrapped my arms around his neck in a tight hug. "Thank you." I looked at him and clasped his face in my hands and placed kisses all over his face "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Erik laughed slightly and pulled away. "It's the least I could do." He looked at me, and tucked a loose strand behind my ear before he kissed me sensually. He pulled away much to my protest and smiled slightly.

I looked at him and then dropped my hands "Erik…" I looked down at my hands "I was thinking about my grandfather when I was singing, like I normally do." I smiled slightly at the thought of him "But I was thinking about us. I want to know, if…" I paused "If you and I are real. If this is real." I looked up at him "I don't want to be chasing something I can't have." I looked back down into my hands and felt a tear drop roll off my face "Before I met you, I thought that you couldn't love someone you knew for a short period of time." I wiped the tear away with a finger but more just replaced it "and then you saved me, not once, but twice and…" I paused, trying to find the word "I don't want you to think that you need to pretend to like me because I'm some sort of damsel in distress." I shook my head and my world started spinning again. "I don't want to be hurt."

A long pause originated between Erik and I and I got worried that he had intended to use me for his purposes, and then leave me, like the common whore. "Christine…" Erik said after a few more minutes pause, his strong arms wrapped around me and it was the first time I noticed he was out of his jacket. "The first time I saw you, at supper on April 10th I found you to be beautiful." He stroked my cheek with his thumb "I was afraid if you had seen my face that you'd shy away from me, like most people do." He closed his eyes before he spoke again. "Then you wanted a tour of Titanic. After we all had departed I told the captain that I'd take you after I had done my duties for the day. After much persuasion he agreed, told Mr. Andrews that he had taken care of the tour that Young Miss Daae wanted." He pulled me tightly to him and I wrapped my arms around his waist "I was just finishing up duties the next day when I had seen you and I was furious."

I looked up at him, but all I saw was chin "You didn't seem furious."

He shook his head and rested his chin ontop of my head "No, I couldn't show it could I? I was furious at what those guys were doing to you, that no one else had come to your aid. When I had helped you, you looked so…" he paused "…so beautiful. I didn't know what it was but I was sure you looked even more stunning than the day before. Perhaps it was the soot on your face, or the fact that you looked so relieved to see me, but I knew at that moment I had feelings for you." He kissed the top of my head and rubbed a hand up and down my back "I was stunned to say the least when you had come to visit me the first night on watch. No one has ever done that before. Then the second night, I wanted to see if you felt the same so I decided to be bold and kiss you."

I inhaled deeply and smiled, he smelled like sandlewood and I loved it "I was glad you did." I pulled away from him and blushed slightly "I was going to, but I chickened out." I giggled.

Erik laughed slightly "well, either way, I'm glad you didn't push me away. Christine, I know it sounds absurd, but when you had fainted and started to fall over the railing I saw my whole world ending." His deep blue eyes searched my face "If you're worried about being hurt, I promise I'll do everything in my power to stop it. I will never, ever hurt you."

**Authors Note**_**:**__ I've spent a few days researching all the passengers on board that have been provided by the encyclopedia Titanica. I think that if you're going to start your own research (I've been doing mine on and off for fifteen years) I suggest you start with Encyclopedia Titanica. It's full of information. I'd love to talk titanic with other people who love titanic just the way I do. If you do want to talk about Titanic then feel free to DM me and I'll give you my email Also, I know I use "think of me" (property of ALW) a lot in my stories, but as I was writing this out I realized that it kinda fit. I mean who knows where the romance of Christine and Erik will go? It's very fitting even for the sinking of the ship._


	6. I know you

I smiled and kissed him "I don't want to hurt you either." I let my eyes search his face "This might sound Crazy and a little bold but when we get to New York, I'm staying with you. If you go back to Southampton, I'll be there." I blushed slightly "If you'd like me to be."

He smiled and nodded "I'd very much like to you be."

I smiled and kissed him again "Do you think I would have died if I had fallen?" I questioned.

He shrugged "No, but it's hard to say, factors in where you hit the railing before you went overboard." He once again held me close.

"We don't tell this to my mother." I mumbled against his chest "We must not tell her. She would lose her mind if she had thought I was about to go overboard." I laughed slightly "Actually, she might commend you and honor you in a certain way mothers know how." I smiled and kissed at his throat "Erik." I whispered.

"Hm?" he responded.

I giggled slightly and shook my head "Nothing."

He looked at me and laughed slightly "Well, you should lie back down. I do have to tell your mother, she'll be worried. I think you might have hit your head on the side of the railing when I had pulled you up." He knitted his eye brows "Sorry 'bout that."

I smiled and settled back down in his bed "does this mean I get to stay here, all night?" I grinned widely.

He shrugged "I suppose so." He stood up "But, if your mother wants to take care of you, I must give her the leeway to do so."

I frowned slightly and Erik left the room. I waited for what seemed like hours before Erik had come back, my mother close on his heels "Christine!" My mother rushed to the bed and grabbed my face in her hands "my Baby!" She looked back at Erik "Thank you for saving her!" My mother looked back at me and kissed my forehead "How are you feeling, Christine?"

I laughed slightly and pushed her hands away from my face "I feel fine mother. Just a bit tired." I smiled and wiped my hands on my skirts.

"Dear, come on and lets get to bed yes?" My mother helped me stand up.

I looked at her "Actually, Erik here was going to take me down to the infirmary." I looked at Erik, who was watching my mother and I intently "he had just brought me back to his quarters because it's quite close to the infirmary and when I get finished, I promise I'll come back up to our cabin." I smiled and put my hands on her shoulders "I promise."

My mother sighed and looked at me "Christie" she exhaled deeply and pulled me into a hug "You're such a strong willed person. Always wanting to be on your own" my mother smiled and looked at me "You're an adult. I suppose you don't need told when you can get back." My mother smiled and kissed my forehead "Just return to me safely?"

I smiled and nodded "I promise."

My mother pulled me in for another hug "Christine" she whispered "Erik is a real gentleman. Even more so than Raoul." She giggled softly "Your father told me earlier that First Officer Erik seemed to really enjoy his time with you and that you looked happier than he's seen you in a long time when you're with Raoul. He wants you to be happy darling. He knows you picked the right person." She smiled and pressed her cheek against mine "Don't let him go."

I smiled "I won't" I whispered back "Mother." I said loudly "I'll be back when I get back from the Infirmary. I promise."

My mother smiled and put a hand on my cheek and smiled "I know." She then turned to Erik who was standing with his hands behind his back, just like he did when I had first met him "Take care of Her, First Officer Holloway. She's my only baby."

He nodded, "Of course, Ma'am."

She smiled and patted his shoulder "You're a good man Erik, a good man." She smiled and walked out.

I laughed slightly and strolled over to Erik "Well, I wasn't planning on going to the infirmary." I inhaled slightly and shrugged "I thought perhaps we could go up to the boat deck and look at the stars."

He looked at me "That would be delightful."

I smiled "Well, you might want to get a coat on. Before I fainted I noticed how chilly it was." I looked at him and grabbed the duvet off his bed. "I believe this will do." I laughed slightly and made my way out of Erik's cabin. It was at the other end of the ship that my stateroom was on; also it seemed to be a different floor.

Erik left his room and then locked it behind him, quietly. I assumed the other first class patrons who worked on Titanic also slept in this corridor. I wondered which one Captain Smith was in, was he close? Did he hear Erik and I through the walls? I was sure that the steel of the ship was thick enough to block out any sounds of the room on the other side, but one couldn't help but wonder.

Erik and I started to walk down the corridor before he turned to me "I believe we should take the lift." He searched my face "I know you dislike it," he whispered "But I think it would be best, you just fainted."

I opened my mouth in protest, I wasn't going to take the lift as I felt they were death traps but then I closed my mouth as I watched Erik's expression "If we must, Darling." I stepped on the elevator clutching the blanket tightly. Erik came on the lift and told the young man to the boat deck. I inhaled sharply as the Lift jerked to life, humming a dull song as it moved carelessly up to the very top of the Ship.

Erik and I moved quietly down to the stern of the ship, out of the prying eyes of the night watch in the crow's nest. I laid the blanket down and sat on it like I had done plenty of nights back home in London.

"It's beautiful out tonight." I looked over at him "Where I live in London, it's hard to see the stars. But normally every night before I went to bed, I'd try to look at them" I smiled and looked down at the blanket "I'm a lucky girl to have such understanding parents, how they know I don't like a conventional life." I smiled.

"How understanding?" he glanced at me.

I smiled slightly "well, back in London our house was so large! We had a maid and a butler, and I was taught by a lovely elderly woman who had a little granddaughter named Meg. Sometimes she'd bring the girl over to the lessons and we became close friends." I smiled at the memory "sometimes after the lessons had ended I'd go into the woods with her and Raoul." I leaned back on my arms "Anyway, my mother was from London, or so she's told me, and my father had family from Italy, but he grew up in London just like my mother. His grandfather had started a textile business and when he died, it was left to my grandfather and he gave it to my father when my father hit twenty." I looked at the stars "And when my father hit twenty one, he met my mother who was eighteen. They had me first; I was their pride and joy. When I was six I remember my mother was pregnant, she had given birth by the time I turned seven to a little boy who was born dead." I looked over at Erik "I got to name him; my mother thought he should receive a name and I named him Edward John. He was my little brother. Not too long after my mother buried him next to her family, she went into a depression. My father was always working so he hired a butler and a maid to help take care of me while my mother had locked herself in a room for hours upon hours a day. Eventually when I was old enough I was tutored in the best things and I played with the little girl named Meg and of course Raoul. I loved the woods; it was always a wonderful escape. By the time I turned nine my mother was back to her normal self, or what I had thought to be normal. She never yelled at me for my long disappearances in the woods or that I had came back dirty. She always encouraged it, always told me that I should be independent." I smiled "And I always remember wanting to grow up like her. Sometimes when I was sent to bed, I'd sneak downstairs and watch her and father. You wouldn't believe me unless you saw it but she can hold her liqueur." I laughed and Erik smiled "I don't like the taste of anything besides wine, but she liked it all. But eventually I grew up, and before I knew it I was twenty five, getting proposed to in the woods by a guy I never liked." I shrugged "and when I found you, my mother understood why I couldn't marry Raoul, for I loved someone else." I smiled

He sat down next to me and pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them "You're very lucky indeed."

I glanced at him "What was your family like? You already know firsthand how my family must be."

He sighed and a fine white cloud left his lips. "Well," he took a long pause as if he was trying to find the courage to speak "My mother died when I was young, about four or five. My father remarried a Russian immigrant who thought of nothing but herself. She had my sister two years later and died during childbirth. My father had inherited what little money the woman had, but after she had died he was never the same." He clicked his tongue "He became a heavy drinker, and started to abuse my sister while I was out at the docks making a living for my family." He let his legs go and then laid back onto the deck, I however continued to sit up "I worked on boats my whole life, often I'd take fish for my family to eat that night" he laughed slightly "We had fish every night for as long as I can remember. Fishing boats aren't as glamorous as you might think, Christine" he winked at me but then turned serious again "When I came home one day, around seventeen years old, I saw my father doing horrible things to my sister. He had beaten her and then he raped her. She was only ten." He paused for a long time and gazed up at the sky, finally, after what seemed like an hour of silence, he spoke again "I went to go help her, she was crying and screaming for me and when I got to the kitchen table I simply hit my father in his face." He chewed on his bottom lip "Lucky for my sister, but very unlucky for me. There was a knife on the table." I watched his eyes close and his brows knit together "and my father was much stronger than I was. I was only able to hit him in the face because I had caught him off guard." His breathing got heavy and I grabbed his hand, gently rubbing it with my thumb, somehow thinking it would sooth him "He pinned me against the wall, cut me right on my lip" he blindly put a hand to his mouth "I didn't wail out, as I didn't want to see my father see a weakness, although it had hurt. He laughed slightly and I remember the smell of alcohol on his breath, and then he said to me 'didn't that hurt son? Very well" and then…" I inhaled sharply waiting for what I knew was coming "And then I felt a searing pain in my forehead, then down my cheek and lucky for me the bastard spared my eye." He looked away "after it happened my father went back to my sister, who was sobbing on the floor in a huddled ball near the corner, kicked her and called her a whore. So when he left I seized the opportunity, scooped up my sister and left." He opened his eyes "I pretended she was my wife when we got an apartment. We lived peacefully for a while, I worked while my sister stayed home. Months later learned she had gotten pregnant and…" His voice got shaky "And when she had given birth to the child she had died. I tried to nurture the child the best I could, but within hours he died too." A few tears fell out of his eyes and I wiped them up. "So after that I worked hard on the boats I had been on. And now I'm here, with you."

I watched him reach up and felt him wipe at my face, and that's when I realized I myself had been crying "oh erik…" I whispered and flung myself on him, wrapping him in the best embrace I could. "I—I didn't know. Oh.." I buried my face in the crick of his neck and let the tears fall out of my eyes again "it's not fair that you had such a awful life! Here I was boasting on about my life, calling it wonderful." I sobbed "I must be the world's worst person!"

He laughed slightly and sat up, pulling me away from him, his hands clamped on my shoulders "Not the world's worst." He winked, causing me to laugh a bit "Its life, Christine. There's always going to be ups and downs and you've just got to roll with the punches life gives you." He wiped my eyes and looked at me "And when you ride the waves you find something worth holding onto, even when you've been through the darkest times. You bring light into my life Christine, more than you know."

I smiled and looked at him, wrapping my arms around his neck "You're making me blush, First Officer Holloway." I gently licked my lips and then kissed him passionately. I knew that I could give Erik all the kisses and hugs in the world, but nothing would ease the pain that I knew he went through. Erik pulled me close, his hand rubbing up and down my back, his other hand entangled in my hair. I placed one hand behind his head, the other on his back, pressing him as close to me as I could get him. We stopped kissing once or twice to regain our breath, but they were short breaks, it was if catching our breath was the last thing on our minds.

Our feverish kissing slowed down and eventually stopped. I couldn't remember when I felt happier. I cuddled close to Erik and laid my flushed cheek on his shoulder "it's a beautiful night tonight." I whispered, breaking the silence between us.

"Marry me."

**Authors Note:** _a little soon perhaps? Oh well I want to rush things along. I watched something that gave me this Idea, except they were going to get married in New York and not on Titanic :P. If Erik were to die, or if Christine were to die, I'd want them to be married. Who's going to die though? I unno, you have to read on _


	7. Yes

I moved away from his shoulder and looked at him, a bewildered expression on my face "pardon?" I said breathless.

"Marry me." He repeated.

I felt heat rising to my face "it's a little rash, a bit sudden…" I put a hand to my face "I—I don't know what to say."

He grabbed my hands and kissed them "I know Christine, It's a bit rash and completely sudden but it just feels right. I don't have much to offer you but I can promise you that I'll be by your side forever, I would never hurt you, just say yes, I promise you'd never regret it."

I looked at him and laughed slightly "well then yes!" I laughed and clasped his face between my hands squishing it slightly and kissed him "a thousand times yes." I smiled and placed kisses all over his face. "Tomorrow."

Erik looked at me, it was his time to be confused "come again?"

I looked at him and let out a small laugh "Tomorrow, let's get married tomorrow. After the church service."

He looked at me and clasped my face in his hands "You're crazy you know that?" he laughed slightly and kissed me.

I laughed "So I've been told."

He laughed "but we haven't any rings."

I looked at him "We don't need them, for now at least." My eyes searched his waiting for a decision

"Tomorrow then" he smiled.

"Tomorrow" I whispered and we kissed.

Erik and I made our way from the stern of the ship and back to his cabin. It was warm and welcoming and I had noticed someone built a fire in a fireplace I wasn't aware of. The warmth tickled my cheeks which were close to being frozen solid. Erik led me to the couch that was stragically placed in front of the fireplace, unlike my stateroom where there were no seats next to the fireplace at all. A blanket was wrapped around me and a body sat next to mine. I looked over at Erik and studied his face. The fire from the fireplace danced across his face and he looked gorgeous. I bit my bottom lip and then leaned up to kiss him.

I smiled up at him, and kissed him again, this time I had decided to be bold and I straddled his lap, which seemed to be a good move on my part as Erik welcomed the risqué move with a slight smile. I pulled away from the kiss and looked at him "I can't promise that I can take the pain away" I gently kissed the scar on his bottom lip "I can't promise that life would be easy like this all the time." I kissed the bottom part of the long scar on his face "But I promise that I will always be there for you." I kissed up the scar which was smooth as the rest of his face "and I promise I'll be the best wife I could possibly be." I made my way further up the scar, near the tip of his nose "and that I'll always be by your side" I made my way to his eye "And I'll never, ever hurt you." I kissed at the top of the scar that started above his eyebrow "I promise." I looked at him and smiled slightly "I love you, Erik." I smiled widely, it had been the first time either of us had said it.

"I love you too, Christine." He whispered.

I smiled and pressed my lips against his, within minutes they became passionate. I knew where this was going and I was going to let it happen, before the eyes of God, to consummate our marriage before it even happened and before I knew it, the blanket I had on my shoulders was off to the floor, Erik's hands fumbled with the buttons on my back.

I laughed slightly "I'm sorry." I pressed my forehead against his and laughed loudly "I'm so sorry!" I said breathlessly and felt my face get hot.

"Turn around" He said breathlessly and took me off his lap, putting me on the floor, I sat on my knees and Erik kneeled behind me and worked on the buttons. He pulled the ribbon out of my hair and kissed the back of my neck and as he worked on the buttons some more, he kissed down my shoulder and back up to the side of my neck. I leaned my head in the opposite direction, granting him access.

I felt the dress slip off my shoulders a short time later and I couldn't help but laugh as I heard a grunt from behind me "damn thing." He started working at the corset that was bound tightly, as if it didn't want to let me free.

"Erik…" I looked at the dress heap on the floor. He grunted a reply "I'm so sorry." I busted out in laughter "It seems as if they didn't want people to do such an act." My face turned red and I heard Erik laugh slightly.

Erik worked tirelessly on the laces for what seemed like hours. I felt the corset's tight grip around my waist and hips release me, I could have turned around and kissed Erik right there, thanking him for taking the dreadful thing off me. He stood up and I slowly stood up too, now just in my chimesy and my knickers. I breathed lightly as I turned around to face Erik, trying not to blush and trying to keep calm.

I had given Erik my all; my everything and for the first time in my life, and that night, we made love.

Hours later, after Erik and I had stole a shower together; he helped me get back into my corset and dress. My hair was now hanging loosely down my back, not put up in the sophisticated style I had it in earlier. Erik looked disheveled and unkept but his eyes danced with excitement and passion.

"Do I have to leave?" I mumbled as I was once again pressed against him. Our bodies shielded by clothes and we both protested to this many times over.

He nodded "I will see you in a short time, my dear." He broke apart from the hug and twirled me around slightly "For the church service and the service of our own." He smiled.

I looked at him and couldn't help but smile wide "Our own." I giggled slightly and looked at him "Please walk me back to my stateroom?" I grabbed his hand and smiled "I think it wouldn't look so suspicious if was walking around the ship with First Officer Erik Holloway as it would if I was walking by myself. I'm sure some of the men are still up, but I wouldn't want to take the chance to run into someone I know."

Erik nodded "Yes, of course." He tucked in his shirt and pulled on his jacket, buttoning it up. I grabbed his hat and as soon as we exited Erik's cabin, I plopped it on his head. He smiled and gave me a wink and walked me up to where my stateroom was located.

"Tonight was lovely; I would like to thank you for taking me star gazing." My eyes danced with unspoken the unspoken deed, my smile held the biggest secret of all. The star gazing wasn't what had made the night so wonderful.

He smiled and nodded "I knew you'd like that." He reached up and played with a curl. "You must get some sleep, do what the nurse told you to." He winked.

I smiled and nodded "Yes, of course. Good night." I opened the door and stood there for a second "I'll see you in church tomorrow, won't I?" I winked.

He laughed quietly and nodded "Of course."

I smiled "then I shall save you a seat."

He nodded and I blew him a kiss before shutting the door.

I looked at the clock that ticked carelessly away on the mantle. It was midnight and all was well.

**Author's Note:** _In the current situation that just came to light about about their sexual explicit content I regret to take down the scene where Christine and erik "Do it". If you'd like to read the original chapter; sexual content and all then please email me at setudor7 I am doing this because I'd be so disappointed if this story was taken down and I'd have to re-post it. So as I have said before please email me if you'd like to read the original version! Thank you!_


	8. Sunday Morning

I woke up bright and early the next morning. I didn't sleep well that night as my body ached from the activities I had partaken in with Erik. I stretched slightly and let out a little squeal. The night flashed in my mind, the way I had been hungry for his touch, the way I had been hungry for it now. I laid on my back, and looked out the window my room had been provided with. It was a beautiful day, it was so beautiful I figured God himself made it just for Erik and I. I slipped out of the comfy bed and forced myself to dress for the day. The tiny clock I had provided myself had shown it was nearing nine and I wa sure that my mother would already be out for breakfast.

I let the maid help me into the corset and after she had helped, I excused her. I pulled a simple dress from the bottom of my trunk, it was white and in the same style as the one with the flowers on it. I attached a red tie around my waist, I figured that a little color wouldn't hurt anyone on a Sunday. I pulled my hair up into a simple design and pulled the flowers that decorated my room out of the vase and placed them stragtically in my hair.

I smiled slightly, pleased with the work I had done and made my way down to the church service. The room for the service took place in a well lit area, with doors almost as grand as the first class dining room. Erik was waiting by the door, dressed in his officer uniform.

"First officer Holloway." Walked up to him and smiled, my hands clasping a small purse in front of me "You look dashing today." I smiled and then stood on my tippie toes, fixing his lapels.

He laughed slightly and offered his arm "You look beautiful, Miss Daae." He looked at me and gave a small smile "Your mother, father and Raoul are waiting for us inside." He pointed to the doors, which were guarded by two first class stewards "Shall we go in?"

I nodded "Yes lets go in." I smiled and made my way inside the room. I spotted my mother and made my way towards her, once I arrived I enveloped her in a hug and did the same to my father. Erik politely shook my parent's hands and even acknowleged Raoul, although Raoul snubbed his friendly gesture.

I sat down between my mother and Erik, our eyes stealing nervous glances throughout the service. It was a beautiful service, Captain Smith had given the sermon although the priest was sitting in the front row.

The priest stood in front of everyone "Ladies and Gentleman, please open your hymn book to page three ninety four."

I grabbed the book in front of me and opened to three ninety four. I opened my mouth to sing "_Eternal Father strong to save, whose arm has bound the restless wave. Who bids the might ocean deep its own appointed limits keep. O hear us when we cry to Thee for those in peril on the sea. Oh Christ whose voice the waters heard and hushed their raging at Thy word and who walkest on the foamy deep and how admist the storm did sleep. O hear us when we cry to thee, for those In peril on the sea_." I inhaled and shut the book as the song and the service was over.

"First Officer Holloway," my mother turned to Erik "Please join my family and I for tea in about thirty minutes." She looked at him.

Erik nodded and clasped his hands behind his back "Thank you for the invitation Ma'am, I'll do my best to attend."

My mother smiled and moved past me "I'll see you in a few minutes right Christine?" my mother smiled slightly, her blue eyes sparkling.

I nodded "Yes mother. Erik and I had planned to take a Sunday stroll on the deck."

My father nodded "That sounds just fine. Come on dear, the three of us can play cards while miss 'I don't know how to play poker' is busy and can't take our things." He imitated me and laughed and wrapped one arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side "See you at tea Christine."

I laughed and looked at my father "We must play poker after supper, I'll give you a chance to win your pocket watch back!"

My father laughed and nodded "Sounds great."

I smiled and watched my parents leave. "It's now or never." I looked up at Erik and he nodded in agreement. "Father Turner?" I said as I approached the man dressed in catholic robes "I have a question to ask of you."

He looked down at me and smiled "And what is that my child?"

I grabbed Erik's hand and swallowed hard "My fiancée and I have been bethrothed for quite some time." I looked up at Erik and smiled before I looked back at the priest "And we were both wondering if you would do us the honor and marry us." I smiled "How lovely would it be to get married on the maiden voyage of Titanic?"

The priest looked at us and thought for a moment "Why, I suppose I could…" he rested a hand on his chin "How long have you been bethrothed?"

"Twelve years, Father." I lied.

"Twelve years? My my." He smiled and nodded "Well then yes, yes of course I could marry you two." He looked at Erik "First Officer?" he questioned.

Erik nodded "Yes, Father."

He smiled and looked at me "You must be proud."

I nodded and squeezed Erik's hand "Yes, very proud."

The father looked at us both and clasped his hands in front of him. "I do believe that I have some Marriage certificates in my cabin. Please, go find two witnesses for your wedding and we can meet back here in ten minutes time."

I smiled and nodded "Yes Father. Thank you." I hurried off in the direction of my stateroom "Erik, go find your steward. I'll grab my maid, they can be a witness." I kissed him as we both ran off in opposite directions of the ship. I quietly entered the stateroom, pleased to find my mother, father and Raoul in the other stateroom and the maid working on our bed linins "Excuse me." I leaned in the doorway "I have quite a favor to ask of you."

"Yes?" The girl looked at me, her black hair was put up in a large style, a small white cap with a tail rested upon her head.

"I'd like you to be a witness to my wedding." I looked at her uneasy face "as my maid you're supposed to do anything I ask of, right?" she nodded "Then I'd like to ask you to be a witness. I also ask of you to not speak of this to my mother or my father."

"Yes miss, of course." She followed me out of the room and we met Erik and his steward inside the small make shift cathedral.

Erik had already made his way up towards the priest and was chatting idly with the aging man. "Christine…" Erik smiled and grabbed my hands.

The priest nodded "Shall we start then?"

I looked at him and nodded "Yes, please."

The priest stood between us as we grasped each others hands "Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this company to join together this Man and this woman in Holy matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and His Church: which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence and first miracle that he wrought in Cana of Galilee, and is commended of Saint Paul to be honorable among all men; and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God. Into this hioly estate these two persons present come now to be joined. If any man can show just cause, where they may not be lawfully be joined, let him speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace." The priest looked at the maid and the steward who shook their heads no "I require and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgement when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in matrimony, ye do now confess it. For be ye well assured, that if any persons are joined together other than as God's word doth allow, their marriage is not lawful." He paused and erik and I both shook our heads no, there was no reason the two of us should not have been married "Erik, Wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?"

Erik looked at me and gave me a small smile "I will."

"Christine, Wilt thou have this Man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the honly estate of Matrimony? Will thou love him, comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others keep thee only unto him, so long as you both shall live?"

I smiled and let a tear roll down my face, Erik let go of my hand and gently wiped it off "I will."

"Who giveth this woman to be married to his man?"

"I do." My maid spoke up in her mousey voice.

"Erik, if you would repeat after me…"

"I, Erik take thee Christine to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. According to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth." Erik gave my hands a gentle squeeze

"Christine, if you would repeat after me…"

"I Christine take thee Erik to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth." I smiled and bit my bottom lip.

Erik produced two simple gold bands and held them to the priest who took them. He handed one to Erik.

He took my left hand and gently slid the ring on my finger. It was too big for me and it was then I realized it was a part of the ship, as I looked at it, I remembered seeing them on the ends of the desk lamps. "With this ring, I thee wed: In the name of the father and of the son and of the holy ghost. Amen."

The priest held out the other ring to me and I gently took it. I took erik's left hand and slid the ring onto his finger. It had fit like a glove "With this ring, I thee wed: In the name of the father, and of the son and of the holy ghost. Amen."

The minister smiled slightly "Let us pray."

"Our father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil, as thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever. Amen." The five of us said in unison.

"Forasmuch as Erik and Christine have constnted together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth each to the other and have declaired the same by giving and recieveing a ring and joined by hands; I prounce that they are Man and Wife in the name of the father and of the son and of the holy ghost. Amen." The priest smiled and looked at us "Congratulations."

I looked up at Erik and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, his arms wrapped around my waist enveloping me in such a strong hug.

I pulled away from Erik and smiled slightly "We must get to tea time. Mother would be infuriated if we missed it." I laughed slightly.

Erik joined in on the laugh and nodded. "Thank you, father." He nodded towards the priest and escorted me out into the hallway.

"I must go change for tea. Shall I see you in the café?" I questioned.

"yes, of course." He put a finger under my chin and lifted my head up placing a small kiss on my lips "see you in a while."

I smiled and looked at him "Alright." I leaned against the wall as I watched him leave. I pulled the gold ring off my finger with ease and looked at it. WHITE STAR LINE was engraved into the metal. I laughed slightly as I clutched it in my hand, it was perfect. I pushed myself away from the wall and made my way towards the stateroom. I slipped through the door and noticed that the maid had came back to finish her chores, I smiled at her and she smiled back, I mouthed a thank you and slipped into my bedroom. I struggled out of my dress for church and into a simple tea gown, it was an irish crocheted dress, ankle length in the front with a foot long trail. The sleeves were loose and came down to my elbow and it dipped to my belly button but the silky white under layer prevented it from being too risqué. I smiled and smoothed the white crochet down over my stomach and searched my jewelry for the long gold chain that my mother had given to me years ago. I smiled as I found it and let the small links slide between my fingers. It was a cool metal and the clasp opened just like magic, it never gave me the problems most of my jewelry did. I smiled slightly and slipped the golden ring on the chain. I clasped it behind my neck and tucked the ring in the top of the corset. I smiled and placed a small light brown hat on the top of my head and moved out of my room.

I made my way to the café and walked around the room looking for my family. I spotted my father's curly brown hair after a few minutes of looking. I normally was able to spot my mother quiet easily as she was one of the only ladies in first class with fiery red hair.

I smiled and sat down across from my father, who was reading a book "Where's mother?"

He looked up at me and removed his glasses "She should be here soon. I believe she and Raoul were still playing Poker when I left." He chuckled a bit.

I smiled and laughed slightly "I believe that she has a poker problem, father." I laughed and looked at the tea time menu "have you ordered yet?"

He shut his book and shook his head "No, I'm afraid I haven't." he sat in thought for a moment and waved down a waitress "Do you have any of those little finger sandwiches? With the cucumbers?"

The maid looked at him "Cucumber sandwiches?"

My father looked at her "Yes, yes, those."

She smiled and nodded "Yes sir we do."

My father pondered "What about tomatoes?"

The waitress nodded "We have those too, sir."

My father then nodded "Alright, I'll take a fresh fruit bowl then. Christine?"

I looked at the menu and then looked up at the waitress "I'll have the same. Tea too please."

She smiled and curtsied before she left. I placed my elbows on the table and leaned forward slightly causing my fathers eyebrows to raise slightly "Elbows off the table my dear. I do believe that Mrs. Rosenthal's etiquette classes taught you better than that."

I felt a heat come to my face "Sorry father." I moved my elbows off the table and sat rigid once again. My mother and Raoul joined a short time later, a small smile playing on the sides of her lips.

"My dear, you look lovely." She smiled and placed a napkin in her lap. "I know it's early but you do know what you're wearing once you get off the ship in America right?" she opened a napkin and placed it in my lap as well "You do know we'll be one of the first to get off the ship, the cameras will be flashing. Oh!" she clasped her hands together at her chest and smiled "We could be in the American papers!"

I laughed slightly "No mother, I'm not quite sure yet." I paused thinking "Perhaps that one with the flowers on it, the periwinkle blue one. It's my favorite."

My mother frowned "yes Christine, but I think it's a bit frumpy. I do quite enjoy that pinstripe outfit that you own, the one with the large hat? Yes." My mother paused "go with that on- First officer Holloway!" My mother smiled and stood up "We didn't believe you'd come!" my mother wraped her arms around him in a warming embrace, I looked confused, as did Erik.

He gave a little chuckle and gave a small pat on her back "Well Mrs. Daae, I always keep a promise."

I quickly looked at Erik's hand and ended up slightly crestfallen when I didn't see the light pull on his finger, although I wasn't wearing mine either. He smiled slightly at me and then took a seat between Raoul and I and rested his hand on my knee and gave it a small squeeze.

I looked at him "do you have any special plans tonight?" I questioned "I believe tonight after supper they are holding a dance." I looked around the table and smiled "Raoul here isn't a very good dancer. No matter how he likes to dance around with the ballerinas at the opera house in Paris." I laughed slightly and winked at Raoul.

He shrugged "They never taught me." He sipped his water, a large smile playing on his face.

"Of course they didn't! They don't give out free lessons." I shot out.

The table turned silent and the eyes turned to me, long seconds passed before the table turned to laughter. I felt the heat turn to my face and was thankful that the tea and fruit dishes came.

"what do you plan on doing when you get to America, First officer Holloway?" Raoul stuck a piece of melon in his mouth.

Erik looked at me "As of right now I'm going back to Southampton. From there who knows?" He took a sugar lump and stuck it into his tea "Titanic has a sister ship, The Brittanic, Might try a shot at being a captain on her." He raised his eyebrows "Just whatever the good Lord has instore for me."

I placed my hand ontop of his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Since he sat down his hand never left my knee. "I thought about staying here in America. I heard it was fabulous, but I'd miss London too much." I slowly blinked looking down into my tea cup "Last I heard, american's don't believe in tea time and I'm not giving up my tea quite as easily." I turned abruptly to my father "Do you know what the date is?" I questioned

He looked puzzled for a minute "April fifteenth, why?"

I smiled and looked at him "We have five more days on this boat.. then we have another week or two to be on it again." I laughed "If man could fly, sea travel would be forgotten. It's a dreadfully long journey although I have to say that this has been the most entertaining ship I've been on." I looked at erik and we entered our own conversation "My family and I went onto a Cunard line ship, it was dreadfully boring. They were so formal, didn't have grand pianos or anything." I leaned in and smiled slightly "And they didn't have you." I smiled slightly.

Erik smiled and looked at me "Well, I worked on a Cunard ship." He took a sip of his tea "I have to agree on how boring it was." He winked at me and then took another sip of his tea "Well Christine, I hate to have to cut our time short, but I must get back to my duties." He took his hand off my knee and kissed my hand "I'll see you and your family around supper."

I frowned "Are you sure you have to go?"

He pulled out his pocket watch, where I saw a gold ring dangle. I was silly to doubt myself, of course Erik would have kept it with him, he was a romantic after all "I'm afraid I do. Have to keep the ship safe!" he stood up and rested his hands at his sides "I'm afraid I have to excuse myself, but I look forward to seeing you at supper." He announced to my family, they bid their goodbyes before he left and within seconds he disappeared in the crowd.


	9. a day with marabelle, a night with Erik

My family and I had sat in the café for so long, the menus for dinner. I ate lightly with the rest of my family and listened to them gossip as Margaret Brown and Madeline Astor- the subject of their gossip - had joined them. After I had my fill of daily gossip I excused myself to read on the sun deck. I pulled 'the problems of philosophy' book from under my pillow. It was a nightly read, something to put me to sleep and it was unfortunately the only book I had thought about bringing. I made my way to the deck and found a nice lounge chair in the center of the row.

I made it quite far in the book when I heard a familiar squeaky voice "Hello!"

I looked up from my book and smiled "Why hello there." I shut my book and moved my legs and the little girl sat down "How have you been Marabelle?" I smiled.

The little girl shrugged "Okay. Mother is ready to get off this ship." She looked at me and smiled "I could stay on it forever!"

I laughed and leaned towards her, tucking one of her stringy blond hairs behind her ear "Well, they can't have a stow-away on the ship!" I placed the book down on the deck "scoot back here, let me do something with your hair." I watched the girl scoot back, practically sitting in my lap "don't you think your parent's would miss you if you stayed on this ship forever?" I questioned, running my fingers through her tangly hair.

"No." she said as she sat perfectly still "My parent's wouldn't even know I'd be missing. I'm the youngest."

I frowned and contuined to comb through the girls hair, it was frightfully messy "How many siblings do you have?"

She thought for a moment "I have six brothers and five sisters."

I gasped "My! That's quite a large family." I thought for a moment, I remembered Marabelle was a third class passenger and her family was made of fourteen people. The thought alone made me sad, the fact that this little girl was here in front of me, very much little the young girl I had been when I was younger, the only difference was our class ranks, the fact that I didn't have eleven other brothers and sisters and my parents showered me with attention.

"Yes." She mumbled "Do you have any sisters or brothers?" she questioned after a while.

I split her hair into three sections after I was satisfied with the work I had done "No, I don't. I grew up an only child." I thought for a moment, I thought about telling the girl about my brother, the little boy who never had a chance to live. I decided against it because I didn't want to haunt the little girl with my nightmares.

"Oh." She sighed and I started braiding her hair "Do you have any children?"

I laughed slightly and shook my head "No, not yet anyway."

She gasped slightly and turned around, ruining the braid I had just done "You're _married_?"

I turned her head back towards the endless ocean and laughed slightly, removing the hair from its twists. The hair had shimmered a light red, very different to the color of blond I had thought she was in the swimming pool "Yes, I am."

She giggled slightly "is he handsome?"

I split her hair into three sections once again and began to braid it "Yes, quite handsome." The more I braided the girls hair, the redder it became.

She sighed dreamily "is he rich?"

I paused at brading for a second. Was Erik rich or was he poor? He obviously didn't marry me for the large trust fund I was to inherent when we returned to England, I never told him about that. Perhaps he was just second class as I remembered his story about his father inherieting a bit of money from his second wife. He never disclosed the amount and he was staying in a first class cabin. "Yes." I said after a while and started to braid the girls long hair again.

"Oh how romantic!" she said breathlessly.

For the rest of the afternoon the girl and I stayed on the sun deck. She decided that she wanted to braid my hair, which much to my amazement she did quite well on. We played with a father and his son with a top that the boy had brought. The deck was buzzing with sound and life, it was the most active I had seen titanic the whole time I had been on board. I had taken Marabelle to the Café and ordered a snack for the both of us, which we enjoyed with a few more cups of tea. I had learned a lot about Marabelle during our time in the café, my favorite part was that she had a plush doll that her older sister made her and how she treasured it.

After our snack she and I walked around the deck, I taught her the same things Erik had taught me; the stern and the bow, the portside and… I had forgotten the other one so I left it out. She seemed to be taking in all the information she could and when it was time for her to leave, I was devastated. The time I had spent with marabelle that afternoon was enjoyable. I slowly made my way back into my stateroom, my thoughts on Marabelle, the little girl from Belfast.

"There you are, child!"

I looked up to see my mother sitting on one of the high backed chairs "I've been on the sundeck all day." I looked at her and smiled slightly "I was playing with that little girl Marabelle, the one I met in the pool area." I placed my book down on the small table.

"Well…" my mother stood up and walked towards me "you had me worried." She looked at me and smiled.

I laughed slightly and looked at her "I'm fine mother. Honestly. If you're worried about me fainting again you don't have to. I haven't felt like I was about to faint or anything." I smiled and hugged her "I must dress for supper. I heard that lamb was on the menu tonight. It's my favorite." I smiled.

My mother smiled and patted my cheek "Okay."

I looked at her and gave her a small smile "I love you mother."

My mother smiled and nodded "I love you too, Christie."

I smiled and disappeared into my bedroom. I shut the door slowly and then walked to the bed, falling face first into the cotton clouds. My mother had been acting funny, I wasn't sure if she had known about what Erik and I had done this morning, or if something else was bothering her. Another thing about my mother; she never spoke about her feelings, unless they were really bothering her. She never thought that a woman should bother a man with silly things. I laid on the bed for a while before I decided to get up and finally dress.

I chose a light pink gown with a loose skirt, when I spun it spun with me and it was one of my favorites. The sleeves were short barely covering the tops of my shoulders and a beautiful beaded design made of diamonds. Diamonds decorated the ends of the small sleeves. I slipped the necklace back onto my neck and placed some earrings on my ears. A bracelet made of gold and black gloves finished the ensemble. I pulled my hair up and placed a thick black ribbon through the front of my hair and smiled at the finished product.

I made my way down the steps and finally made it to D Deck, where I thought I'd have seen Erik, but he was absbent, just like my mother had been. I smiled at the man in the white coat and contuined down into the first class dining area. The music played loud and strong, the spirits were flowing and it seemed more like a lavish party than it did a first class dining area. I got pulled into a dance, just like I had gotten pulled in to the party on the boat deck when we were departing. The music soared through my veins, it made my heart pump and my eyes close. I spun in circles, moving my feet as if I knew what I was doing. I just let the music take me to wherever it wanted. I was its slave and it was my master. I smiled and when I opened my eyes and laughed as I fell into a chair, breathless.

"Hello Miss Daae."

I looked at the table I had practically tackled and laughed slightly "Mr. Ismay, Captain smith! It's lovely to see you." I smiled slightly, trying to get my breathing under control.

Captain Smith smiled at me "Your parent's will be joining us in a moment, told me to tell you if I was to see you before them." He took a sip of his water.

I smiled at him "Thank you, sir." The captain was such a wonderful man, his smile always made me feel good, and he always tried to make everyone on board happy. My mother seemed to get to him often and I wondered if she spent a good period of her day seeking out the poor man. I was lucky, however, to find my seat and it seemed as if my table had enjoyed my entrance. I listened to the men talk politics, whenever I had tried to speak about the subject at hand, I was shot down by Mr. Ismay.

Eventually, my mother, father and Raoul joined us for supper and a very long time later, Erik joined. He looked worn out, beaten and just plain exhausted. I watched him lean over and mumble something in the captain's ear. The captain looked alert, and told something to Erik before he once again rushed off.

My eyes met the captains and I leaned in slightly "Isn't first officer Holloway joining us tonight sir?" I questioned.

The captain smiled "Yes, Yes of course." He smacked his lips before he contuined "Just a little scurry in the wireless room. Nothing to worry about."

I nodded and scratched a small part on my face. A short while later Erik came back and sat across from me. He gave me a weak smile "Dance?" He mouthed and I nodded.

We made our way to the floor and the waltz came on, played out slowly by the orchestra. "What happened?" I questioned as we walked away from the table.

Erik shook his head "Iceberg warnings. Nothing to worry about though my dear, we are too far south for an iceberg, the captain said so himself." He took a hold of one of my hands and wrapped a arm around my waist and held me close.

"Icebergs?" I questioned

He nodded "Like I said my love, nothing to worry about." He smiled and twirled me around "let's just worry about tonight shall we?" He questioned and I gave a nod "How was your day?"

I smiled slightly "Well, it was quite lovely." I started "I met this little girl in the pool area the other day, her name is Marabelle and well she was on the deck. I spent the day with her. I braided her hair and we played tops with a boy and his father and enjoyed a snack in the café." I smiled and looked up at him "She's such a loving little girl. She reminds me of me at that age." I chewed on the inside of my lip, lost in thought for a moment before I was spun again "What about your day?" I inquired.

Erik laughed "quite a normal day. Checked on the cargo, made an inspection of the ship's decks, made sure everything was in tip-top-shape." He looked down at me and placed a curl behind my ear "Christine, I've thought long and hard about this. When we dock back in Ireland, I'm quitting the seas." His eyes searched mine "I want to spend the rest of my life, right by your side."

I looked at him like he was crazy "But you love your job. You're so close to captain Erik I can feel it." I placed my hand on his cheek "You love being on a ship, I can tell." I laughed slightly "I've only known you for a week before I married you but I already feel like I've known you my whole life and I know that this, right here, what we are on is what you love." I smiled and rubbed my thumb against his cheek "Don't give that up."

He took my hand off his cheek and kissed the palm of my hand "But I love you more, Christine." He kissed my hand again "I have enough money to support you and I and whatever other life we decide to bring into this world." He placed one of his large hands on my cheek and smiled slightly.

I closed my eyes and sighed heavily "But this is what you love Erik." I looked around and sighed once again "may we talk in private?"

He nodded and led me up the grand staircase and into the most private place we knew of; Erik's cabin.

"What's there to talk about in private?" He questioned as he shut the door behind me.

I looked at him "When we get back to England, I get one million pounds." I searched his face, which remained unchanged "I get it for being married and I didn't want to tell you too early because I didn't want you to rush into marrying me for the money." I looked down at my feet "I didn't want to seem to dependent, I didn't want you to worry about me while you were gone. I should have told you sooner." I chewed on my bottom lip.

Erik looked at me "The money changes nothing." He said after a while "I meant what I said when I had said I wanted to spend every waking hour with you." He lifted my head and gently placed a kiss on my lips "I never lie to beautiful women."

I laughed slightly and looked at him "You're a smooth talker, you know that Mr. Holloway?" I questioned as I straightened his tie.

"I do know that, Mrs. Holloway." He lifted his chin as I played around with his tie.

I smiled and tightened the tie "that's nice to hear, you know?" He made a grunt and I contuined "To hear Mrs. Holloway." I giggled slightly and placed a kiss on his neck.

He gave a slight moan as I proceeded to place kisses in various places around his neck "Yes, it is nice to hear." He mumbled.

I smiled slightly and helped take his jacket off, and laid it on the side of the couch before I guided him to sit down on the couch. I made my way behind the couch and put my hands on his shoulders and gently gave them a squeeze. "You seemed stressed." I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck, my cheek pressing against his "Anything I could do to help?" I questioned stairing at the empty hearth.

His hands rubbed up and down both of my arms and his lips pressed against mine, then he pulled away "I don't think I can think of anything" he pursed his lips and kept rubbing my forearms "Unless you can?" he looked at me innocently.

I laughed slightly and placed a kiss on his cheek "I don't think I can think of anything either. Perhaps we should go back down to supper."

He shook his head "No, they wouldn't know that we were missing. They will be too busy dancing." He looked over at me and stole another kiss.

I smiled and kissed him back, before I moved to the couch next to him. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his side. For the longest time we sat in silence, and every once in a while we would steal each other's kisses. I broke away from Erik's side and slipped my legs over each side of his and pressed my mouth against his. Erik met my feverish kiss back and seemed to get what I was implying.

My fingers slipped over the buttons of his crisp white top and pushed it back off his shoulders. His lips slipped over the side of neck and I felt his hands unzip my dress. A soft moan escaped my mouth and I pressed my lips against his. I felt his hands work at the back of the corset and in less time than the day before, it slipped off. My fingers fumbled around his pants buttons and after they had become un buttoned Erik and I once again found the floor. He tossed my dress aside and placed his pants on the couch. Our kisses turned heated and our hands moved around each other's bodies, making sure not an inch was untouched.

I playfully pushed Erik off me and straddled him once again. He slipped my chimsey off and let his fingers play with the waist band of my knickers. I smiled and kissed him feverishly before I made my way down to his chest, placing kisses on random spots, being more daring than I was the night before. My breath quickened as I reached the top of his knickers and in a bold statement I put the fabric between my teeth and yanked his knickers down with the help of my fingers. I looked up at Erik; his eyes were closed and his breath was quickened. I smiled and tossed his knickers off to the side and moved back up the length of his body and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

Within seconds Erik had once again flipped me over and pulled my knickers down quicker than I could have imagined. I felt his lips touch mine, and a pressure between my legs, but within a moment; both were gone, the pressure replaced by pleasure and his lips let moans escape both of our lips. Fire filled my veins and my fingers dug into his back and fell down the length of his body. Together, we made love deep into the night.


	10. April 15th

_11:30_

My arm wrapped around Erik's bare chest, my head resting in the crook of his arm, which was wrapped loosely around my shoulders. I snuggled up closer to Erik's warm body and tucked my cold toes under in between his legs. He protested in his sleep, but eventually gave up the fight, and succumbing to more sleep. I smiled slightly and placed a kiss on his cheek before I slipped out of the bed and slipped into Erik's shirt that laid discarded on the floor. I moved out of the bedroom and into the sitting room and turned on a desk lamp and looked around. There were papers strewn along the desk, more clothes were discarded along the floor which prompted a small giggle from me. I half wondered what the other people who were staying near Erik had thought of what we had done, if they had heard us, which I was sure they did. Another giggle escaped my lips as I made my way towards the fireplace, which was as cold as my toes. I slipped down to my knees and leaned on my hands looking into the fire place, I had seen my father make a fire, but looking at it now it had seemed foreign to me.

And then I heard it, or rather, didn't hear it. The engines had stopped. I leaned back on my heels and listened closely. I heard the sound of Erik's snores but nothing else. The engines on the first night on Titanic had kept me awake most of the night, as I got used to it their presence went unnoticed, until now. I pushed my body up off the floor and strode back into the bedroom, trying to stay quiet, trying to listen for the roar of the engines to start back up at any time. I sat on the bed for a few minutes before I had decided that waking Erik would be best.

"Erik." I whispered. He grunted and turned over "Erik" I said a little louder, my hands touched his arm and gave him a gentle shake "Erik, wake up."

"mmm?" he said sitting up rubbing his face "what is it, Christine?" I placed my fingers on my lips and he shook his head he listened for a while and shook his head "I don't hear anything."

I looked at him and nodded "Exactly" I looked at him "if we are to make it by April 20th, why have the engines stopped? They have no reason to stop."

He laughed slightly and wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down wrapping me in a warm embrace "Everything is fine Christine, I promise." He smiled slightly and placed a kiss on my nose.

I smiled slightly and snuggled up close to him "Perhaps I'm just over thinking things?" I looked up at him and watched him nod "You're right." I pulled away from his embrace and leaned on my elbow "Could you check though?"

He sighed and threw the covers off him "I promise Christine, everything is fine." He pulled on his pajamas that were laying carelessly by his side of his bed "but if it makes you feel better, I'll go check."

I smiled and stood up standing on my tippie toes to place a kiss on his lips "Thank you." He smiled and yawned before he walked out of his cabin. I placed my body back on the bed and sat there with my legs criss crossed, hands resting on one of my ankles, waiting on a word from Erik.

It seemed like hours before he had came back with a worried expression on his face "Nothing to worry about Christine, Just like I told you."

I looked at him and stood up "I don't believe that." I chewed on my bottom lip "Erik, what's happening, what's going on?"

He ran a hand down his face and made his way to his wardrobe pulling out his officer dress "Titanic has hit an iceberg." He looked at me, he sure wasn't going to sugar coat it "Thomas Andrews was talking to Captain Smith when I entered, he gave her two hours tops to stay afloat." He walked over to me and placed a hand on the side of my cheek, I clasped a hand to his and leaned into his hand "Christine, please, get dressed. We'll go up on the deck together."

I looked at him, my stomach was churning, my head was pounding and my breath had quickened and I felt like I was going to faint once again. I kicked my corset under the bed and slipped the chiffon dress over my head, Erik was behind me within seconds and slipped the zipper up but then was once again dressing himself. He seemed distant, worried and I felt like he was afraid. I pulled my knickers on under my dress and slipped my pantyhose on and then my shoes grabbing the pocket watch last.

_12:00_

Erik and I made our way up to the deck my arms wrapped around my body instantly as I felt how cold the air was. I followed closely behind Erik and as we made it to a life boat I gasped "My mother, Erik I have to get my mother, My father too!" I looked at him and grabbed onto his lapels "I promise, I'll be back!" I placed my lips tightly on his and before he could protest, I made my way down the corridors to the stateroom that my father and Raoul shared.

I let my tiny fists slam on the wooden door "Open up…" I whispered waiting a minute before banging on the door again "Open up!" I banged harder and harder until my hand was red. I exhaled and shoved my shoulder into the door trying to open it, but it was no use. A sharp pain slipped through my shoulder and I gasped slightly grabbing my shoulder tightly. I pulled the pocket watch out and looked at it, _12:15 _I shook my head and placed the pocket watch back into my bust and moved onto my stateroom. I grabbed my shoulder as I moved down the hallway and to the stateroom. I knocked on the door even with the cringe in my shoulder "Mother!" I called "Mother open up please!" I breathed heavily and banged on the door again.

My mother opened the door and I rushed in and into my room "Christine, what has gotten into you?" my mother looked at me and then at the time on the mantle "It's 12:25 in the morning! Why were you banging on the door, why didn't you just use your key, and were you just getting in?" My mother looked at me "Where have you been?"

I looked at her and reached for the life vests and handed one to my mother "I was with First officer Holloway." I looked at her "he told me that the ship has struck ice." I ran into my room and grabbed a coat and slipped it on buttoning the gold buttons.

My mother sighed and leaned against the doorway "A man had came by not to long ago telling me about a" she paused and looked at me "About the captain saying that he wanted to do a lifeboat drill and that there was nothing to worry about, that's why they stopped the engines."

I looked at her "mother, First Officer Holloway has told me that he spoke to Thomas Andrews.." I looked at her my eyes searching her face "mother please, this is serious. Two hours is all he gave the ship, in two hours, she'll be at the bottom of the ocean." I moved my mother into her room and grabbed her jacket "And mother, there aren't enough life boats for everyone on board." I inhaled sharply as a pain shot through my shoulder "Please, we have to get you to a boat."

My mother looked at me as she slipped gloves on her hands "What about you Christine? Why won't you get on a boat?"

I slipped a life jacket on over her head and made sure that it was secure "Because I have to find father." I handed her, her hat and walked her out the door.

"I'm coming with you."

I grabbed her by the shoulders and shook my head "No mother!" I practically yelled "You must get to the deck! You must get to a life boat! Please!"

"I'm coming with you." My mother demanded again

I looked at her "go to the deck!" I said as I ran away "We will meet you up there! I promise!" I rushed through the corridors through throngs of panicking people. I made my way back to the stateroom my father was supposed to be occupying. I knocked at the door again and waited for a few minutes before I thought of where my father could have been; the smoking room. I breathlessly ran down the hall and down the steps, tripping a few times on my skirts.

"father!" I called as I rushed through the dining room. Men were walking around the dining room still dressed in their best. "Father!" I yelled again as I searched one of the smoking rooms, it housed a few men, none of them my father. I gave them an apology and rushed through the rest of the rooms, almost giving up hope until I got to the last room.

I saw the curly haired gentleman sitting next to the golden blond boy and relief flooded over my body. "Christine?" My father looked at me.

I ran to him, wrapping my arms tightly around him, ignoring the searing pain in my shoulder "Papa" I whispered then I remembered why I had searched for him so frantically for the past half hour "Father, Raoul…" I looked at them both "The ship is sinking." I looked at him "First officer Holloway told me so, we must get to a life boat."

My father looked at me and gave me a small sad smile "I know, Christine. Raoul and I had seen it when we were out on the deck."

I looked at him and grabbed his hand "Please papa, Let's go to a boat! Please!" I looked at Raoul "Come on, the both of you!"

I spent the better half of twenty minutes trying to coax my father and Raoul to put on a life vest and come to the deck. I had a feeling that both of the men were feeling well with the spirits that were still flowing graciously. I emerged onto the deck with the two men in tow, but I was greeted by freezing cold water at my feet, which I had figured sobered my father right up as he decided to take the lead and rush Raoul and I up to dry dock. I turned my neck just enough to see that the bow of the ship had been swallowed by the water.

My stomach turned and I looked at my father, who now instead of that sad little smile he had on twenty minutes earlier, was full of determination. "Father…" I looked at him "Father I have to find someone!" for the first time I realized that my father had taken my hand and was dragging me along "I have to find First officer Holloway!"

_1:15 am_

My father looked at me "Christine, we have to get you on a boat."

"You're father is right Christine." Raoul mumbled behind me, I was sure that he was still feeling the effects of the spirit.

I looked at Raoul before I looked at my father "please, let me look for him!" I looked at my father "Please." My eyes searched his and I grabbed his other hand, a slight laugh escaped my lips as if I didn't believe what I was about to say "He's my husband. I married him yesterday and I have to find him."

"Your husband?" My father looked flabbergasted and laughed slightly as well "Why didn't you tell me Christine?"

I shook my head "I was, when we got to new york." I looked at my father "Please, help me find him. He has to be around here somewhere, around the boats, he's in charge of safety."

My father nodded "Remind me to have a serious talk with the both of you when we dock in new York." He nodded again and then pulled me up the deck, Raoul in tow.

"Erik!" I called as we passed a throng of officers "Erik!" I called again. I got distracted as I passed the orchestra playing on the deck, cheery tunes to keep us all sane I believed. I gave them a small smile and was whisked away by my father. I looked back at the men who were now playing an even cheerier tune, which I thought was unimaginable.

"Christine?" I heard erik's voice which broke me from my thoughts about the orchestra.

"erik!" I let go of my fathers hand and wrapped my arms tightly around the man "Erik!" I smiled again and placed both of my hands on the sides of his head, planting a kiss on his lips "Erik, you're safe!" I wrapped my arms around him tightly again.

He kissed me back, and looked at me "Where is your life jacket?"

I looked at Erik "I forgot it in a rush to look for my father." I looked over at my father before I looked at Erik.

He shook his head "no need to worry about that now, you need to get into the boat Christine."

I looked at him and shook my head "No."

My father walked up and stood next to Erik "Christine, you should listen to your husband." Erik looked at him, slightly surprised, but didn't say a word.

"Not without you three!" I looked at the men who were now surrounding me, my voice turning shaky "Please, get into the boat with me!"

"There are boats waiting for men on the other side" Raoul looked at me and smiled slightly as he stepped forward "I just heard a man say something about it. Your father, Erik and I will board a boat over there."

Erik and my father nodded "Yes, Christine the quicker you get on this boat, the quicker we can get on that one." My father smiled slightly.

"I'm not getting on!" I protested.

"That boat isn't sinking Christine, This one is." Erik swooped me up and placed me on the inside of the life boat.

"Erik!" I felt warm tears fall down my frozen cheeks "papa!" I reached out to the three men "Raoul." My chin quivered as the three men moved around me "Please, get in the boat!" I begged "please!" I coughed slightly and realized how parched I had become, how defeated I sounded and how my voice was hoarse.

"Christine, it's fine, we promise." My father smiled slightly.

I looked at the men and tried to grab on to all three of them "I'm frightened." Tears poured out of my eyes.

"It's okay to be frightened child." My father was pushed slightly and he grabbed my hand tighter "Remember what you used to tell me when you were younger? When you were frightened?" I shook my head no and my father laughed slightly "You always said it was okay to be scared, just a little bit." He looked at me "and then you'd sing a song, what song was it?"

I wrapped my shaky fingers around my father's hand and pierced my lips together, trying to stifle a cry "Come Josephine, in my flying machine." I mumbled.

My father smiled, I felt his hands shake against mine "yes, that's it. Tell me, how did it go?"

I looked up at him and swallowed hard, my eyes still pouring out steaming hot liquid. I breathed out and a white puff seemed to escape "C-Come Josephine, in my flying Machine and it's up she goes, up she goes…" I closed my eyes and quickly opened them as I felt the life raft start to slowly lower "No!" I grabbed onto my fathers hand tighter "No!" I screamed "Please! No!" My father let go of my hand and blew me a kiss. Erik stood by my father, a silent tear streamed down his face "stop!" I looked up at the boat "Stop the boat! Please!" tears streamed down my face and I clawed at the side of the ship, trying to find a grasp "Please! My father! My husband! My friend! Please! They are up there!" I wailed as I was pulled back into the boat by a large lady, her arms wrapped around me keeping me away from the side.

_1:45 am_

The boat rocked gently in the water and I looked up once again to see three figures looking down at me. Tears flowed freely down my face as the lady kept her arms around me tightly. I forced my eyes open, I forced myself to watch the large ship as we rowed away from it. I took in the sight of it, its bow was in the water, as if the ocean had been hungry. I watched figures jump from the ship and winced as I heard their bodies hit the hard oceanic surface.

_2:05 am_

My body shook, and my head reeled, I wanted to get back on the ship, I wanted to be with my father and Erik and yet I was so far away. I watched a final boat lower into the water, full of women and children I suspected. I had learned myself that there wasn't going to be a boat on the other side for the men, that Raoul had lied to me, just to get me on the boat, that Erik and My father had agreed with them, for my safety. I wondered about my mother and what life boat she had managed to escape to. I thought about marabelle, I wondered if she had made it to a boat, I secretly wished she did.

My eyes flickered to the distress signals up in the sky. They were beautifully haunting and the only thing that took my eyes off the sight was the flickering lights aboard the Titanic. I held my breath for what seemed like forever until they had came back on. I breathed a sigh of relief and then watched them go back out.

_2:20 am_

The lights played with my emotions for fifteen minutes until they had finally went out for good. I didn't see it, but I had heard it. It was ear shattering, gut wrenching and heartbreaking. The sound of twisted medal tore through the silence of the boat and the sound of the boat crashing down onto the water made even the officer on board the ship cringe. I was certain that the ship had split into two. The stars provided light, but it wasn't helpful for as far out as we were. I felt too numb to scream; I felt as if the people in the water were doing enough of it for me.

After twenty minutes of thrashing around and screaming in the water, it went calm. It was then that I looked at the ladies in the boat before I made a rash decision; I fell out of the boat. I screamed at how cold the water was, how it felt like I was being pierced by millions of tiny needles. I paddled away from the boat, much to the protests of the ladies and the officer safely inside. My limbs felt like they were going to freeze, and I was sure my toes already had frozen but I wasn't going to stop until I had found Erik, as I was rest assured my father was already safely in a boat.

"Erik!" I croaked out and paddled past a man. I paused slightly ad moved over to his frozen corpse and removed the life vest and slipped it on me. It provided with a little bit of warmth but it was taken away from me as I started to paddle once again. At every man I had seen, I stopped, wondering if it was Erik, and every man I had stopped at I prepared myself. "Erik!" I choked out and spit some sea water out of my mouth. I coughed and stopped paddling in the water, I felt as if I had gone a thousand miles, my limbs were frozen, my hair had grew icecicles on the ends and my teeth were chattering. I felt as if I had made my way where Titanic would have been laying on the ocean floor as a table generously popped up next to me. I grabbed onto it as if my life depended on it, and in a way it did. I inhaled the cold air and coughed slightly before I moved on.

I rested my face on the table and just gave up. I thought about how I should have stayed in the boat, how it was the logical thing to do. But I didn't see Erik, or my father, or even Raoul and I was giving up hope. I had lost hope in the middle of the icy north Atlantic seas and I decided that I was going to die out here with the hope I had lost, and other people who had lost hope as well. I lifted my face slightly and spotted it in the moonlight. A boat had been overturned and men were sitting on the top of it.

And for the first time since I entered the water, hope had returned.


	11. Alive

"Hello!" I called out to the boat, but I figured that they were too far out to hear me "Hello!" I called again as I started to kick myself and the table over towards the overturned boat. "Help!" I called back out as I got closer "Please! Somebody!"

"This 'ere boat's full!" I heard someone call out.

"Please!" I paddled my way towards the boat "Help! I'm just looking for a few people" I coughed and latched onto the string around the boat "I'm looking for my hus—" I inhaled water and coughed violently "I'm looking for my husband!" I looked up at the men on the boat "He was first officer Holloway. I'm sure you've come across him."

"Sorry Lady." Said the same guy, "We don't have no officers on this boat."

I whimpered slightly and laid my head on the side of the boat "Thank you." I felt my heart beat slow rapidly as I pressed myself against the boat. I tried to cry, but the tears seemed to be frozen in my tear ducts, or I was all cried out.

"See if 'e is dead sam. We should at least attend to this lady."

I felt a man slip down next to me and I opened my eyes. The golden blond hair was in mistakable, It was Raoul. My heart ached for the man who was once my playmate when I was younger. I reached a frozen hand out of the water and drew a clear cross on his forehead before he floated away "goodbye, Raoul" I whispered before I was hoisted onto the boat. "Gentlemen, I believe we should say a prayer for the men and women who have passed."I looked at them, wishing I could wrap my coat tightly around me "We all seem to look like we practice different religions, but I think we can all agree to recite the Lord's Prayer?" I questioned "Don't do it for me, please, do it for all the lost souls out there." I swallowed hard as they all nodded.

"Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day or daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from Evil as thy is the kingdom, and the power and the glory forever, Amen."

The men and I sat on the boat in silence for hours after the lord's prayer was recited by all of us. The sun silently rose behind us and I remembered my father's pocket watch that I had kept securely in my bust. I pulled it out and looked at the time, four ten in the morning. I looked back towards the sun knowing that it had woken up early and I wondered if it was up early to mock us.

I saw the outline of a large vessel, I watched as it lifted the life rafts into the boat and I wondered when it would be coming by to pick up the overturned boat with me on top of it, with all these men. My thoughts drifted to Raoul, the way he looked when he had floated away from me, the way I had tried to save him for God right before I was hoisted to safety by the men. I swallowed hard and lifted a stiff arm up into the air, as if they were to see me. Apparently however someone did and a perfectly good lifeboat was sent out to rescue us. As it turned out, six out of the eleven of us sitting on top had perished sometime throughout the night. Neither one of them was Erik, but the gentleman that had joined us sometime throughout the night was Second Officer Lightoller who seemed to be shaken up worse than any of us could have imagined.

When the boat had lifted us up to safety, I learned it was the Carpathia, a large vessel that held equipment and crew. It wasn't a luxury liner but it was better than an overturned boat in the middle of the ocean. I was handed a blanket and a small cup of tea as I arrived on board. I sat on the floor of the ship and watched as the sun rose high in the sky. After my tea was gone, I stood up and decided to look for a trace of my family. Raoul I had known was gone but I still had hope for my family, and for Erik.

"Your name Miss?" A carpathia officer said

"I'm sorry?" I looked at him, I wasn't quite sure that I had heard him.

"Your name Miss?" he repeated again in one of the friendliest tones I had heard.

"Christine, Christine Holloway." I mumbled and looked up at him "Could you tell me something sir?"

"Yes Ma'am?" he looked at me

"Could you tell me if there is any Daae family on board?"

The man shook his head "No ma'am, there are not." He looked at me and rested a hand on my shoulder before he moved on to the next person he came across.

My body felt numb, my father didn't survive; neither did my mother and neither did Raoul. My heart ached and before I knew it my knees hit the floor and warm tears slid down my cheeks. A small moan of anguish slipped through my lips and I pressed my forehead to the wooden dirty floor. A few wails had escaped my mouth, yet no one had seemed to stop and see if I was alright. I supposed it was because of all the other ladies onboard were suffering loss as well. I slipped the pocket watch from between my bust and cupped it in my hand and laid on the floor for a few minutes longer. I pushed the pocket watch, which had now stopped working and was full of sea water, back In my bust and pushed myself off the floor. My parents would have wanted me to push on instead of mourn their death. I stood up and wrapped the blanket tightly around me and went in search for Erik.

I spent hours walking on the top of the ship, after a while I had realized that I wasn't looking for Erik and that I had in turn spent my time looking for Marabelle. I had found neither of them and when it was time to turn in, I went without hesitation and fell asleep. My dreams were filled of horrific images of the way Erik could have died. I dreamed that he had been smashed by Titanic when she had split in two, or that he drowned trying to save Marabelle.

I woke up early the next morning, instead of feeling refreshed I still felt numb. The loss of my entire family had emotionally drained me. The loss of Marabelle had put me over the top and the loss of Erik had made me numb. I slipped out of the bed that I was offered and slipped Erik's jacket back on before I made my way back out to the deck. On the deck there were people gathered around a large piece of paper, which I noticed held names on who survived. I pushed my way through the crowd and searched for the name I had been searching for

_Holloway, Erik E._

I smiled and placed a shaky hand on my lips "He's alive!" I whispered excitedly "He's alive!" Tears sprung up in my eyes and my hands flew up to my lips, "He's alive!" I exhaled and pushed through the throngs of ladies that now had gathered around the sign. I felt slightly guilty celebrating the life of Erik while many ladies were mourning the loss of their husbands, sons or fathers. I emerged through the other end of the crowd and quickly looked around the ship for any sign of Erik, for his coat, for his hair, for his tell tale scars. I felt my feet carry myself to the bow of the ship, I figured that if I was to start searching for Erik again, I'd start at the bow.

I made my way to the front of the ship and for a moment leaned on the railing to look at the icy water below. The same water that held my possessions, my favorite dresses and was now a grave for my family; I buried my face in my hands, hiding my face from the world. For a moment, all the emotions came flooding back. The loss of my family was unimaginable, and before I knew it, sobs had escaped my lips, and had started to shake my body. My family might not have wanted me to mourn them, but it was the least I could do, after I had lost them so tragically.

I released my face from my hands and stared out into the ocean. I had loved the ocean so much, but the events of the past twenty four hours had made me despise it, despise the cold salt water, the icebergs and the animals that lurked beneath the glassy surface. I wanted to show the ocean how much I had hated it, how much I loathed it and how I wanted to make it pay! But I knew deep down that there was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do to show the ocean how much I hated it. I couldn't kick it, it wouldn't feel it if I did. Spitting on it would have no effect, just more water to the ocean. I sighed and backed away from the railing and wiped my eyes. My search for Erik had to continue.

The search had been a long one and when I was ready to give up the fight, I saw him. He was missing his coat and his shirt was torn. His arms were casually leaned on the railing of the Carpathia and he was staring out into the sea. The expression on his face was sollum, and it had been obvious that he had been crying, even if it wasn't too long ago. I stood a way back, watching the man I had called my husband. I watched him rub a hand down his face and watched him turn around, my breath quickened as he stood there, staring at me staring at him.

Before I knew it my feet were pounding the wooden deck and Erik was getting closer, and closer, and closer. My body collided with his and I wrapped my arms around him tightly, and his arms had done the same. It was if we never wanted to let each other go. Tears flowed down my face freely but I was unsure what they were for. Were they for the loss of my family? That I had finally found Erik? Or was it all the emotions run into one? I wasn't sure but the fact that Erik and I were reunited was enough for me.

Words were left unspoken as Erik and I stood there arms wrapped around each other for what seemed like hours. Silently he led me into a cabin that I realized wasn't too far off from my own cabin. I wondered if Erik had thought I had died, just like I had thought he had died. He looked so relieved when he had found me that I was sure I had wet hair. Erik slipped into the cabin room and shut the door quietely, as if he was going to wake someone.

He held me out at arms lengths and I watched him inspect me, he twirled me around like he was dancing with me, making sure everything was in order. My shoulder was still throbbing, and a large bruise had formed where I had rammed my arm in the door but Erik seemed not to notice.

"Christine…." He whispered and pulled me in tightly. It was as if my eyes were floodgates and they had opened. My heart ached for my loss, and Erik's hands entangled through my hair were the least bit of comfort. I had mixed emotions, I wanted to be happy that Erik was alive but at the same time, I felt that if I was to be happy, I'd betray my family in mourning them. So in the arms of Erik, for the first time, I really mourned the loss of my family.


	12. Tears

Erik and I sat in silence for the rest of the night, words seemed to elude us. Neither of us went up to supper when it was being announced, we just sat in silence, in the dim light of Erik's cabin. I had cried for a few hours, and now I felt drained. After a while I had fallen asleep and I had figured Erik did as well, if he didn't fall asleep right away, he didn't protest my being in the already cramped cabin. I highly doubted he would.

The next morning I rose from the bed, although I didn't feel any different from last night, except I was hungry. The contents of my stomach had been empty for the whole time I had been on this ship, was it three days? Two? I couldn't remember the days seemed to run together after the accident. It was then that I had realized Erik was nowhere to be found and I panicked; perhaps finding Erik was just a dream, perhaps he was really dead and I was left all alone. I looked around the bunker, three men were sleeping in the three extra beds that were adorned around the room and it made me wonder how I got so lucky to get a bed to myself while… A smile appeared on my face, I wasn't in my room, so I wasn't dreaming that Erik had survived!

I slipped out of the room, trying my hardest not to wake the three other men. I backed out of the door, shutting it as quiet as one could shut an iron door and felt myself bump into someone. I turned around to see Erik standing there still looking disheveled, but he was still handsome as always.

"Hello." I mumbled as I wrapped my arms around him, I felt myself melt into the man before me as his arms wrapped around my frame.

"how are you feeling today?" He placed a kiss on the top of my head.

I shrugged and looked up at him "The same as yesterday." I looked at him and I was sure I looked a fright. I could feel that my eyes were puffy and I was sure I had been pale from the lack of food "Except I'm so hungry." I broke away from Erik and held my stomach.

He nodded "I was about to find you so we can go grab something to eat." He gave a one shouldered shrug "it's not much, gruel I believe, but it's something."

I laughed slightly "I suppose the Carpathia wasn't expecting visitors." I linked my arm in his as we both walked to a cold un familiar room. This ship was nothing like the Titanic; it had one large dining hall which the crew had called the 'mess hall' and their cuisine wasn't as spectacular, Gruel was served for breakfast and on the titanic nothing but the best would have been served for breakfast. I missed the fresh fruit already with a glass of tea.

When I had received my food, which I had to stand in line for, I scarfed it down with much satasfication. My stomach felt full and I once again felt tired, but I wasn't going to sleep the rest of the day away. When my grandfather had passed away, my mother slept for days, only came out to eat and then would go back into her own solitude. I wasn't going to do that.

After breakfast Erik and I made our way around the deck of the ship, once again in silence. I looked at the ocean and I threw it a threatening glance, although I knew it didn't falter one wave of the ocean.

"Erik?" I looked up at him after a while "May we talk?" I chewed on my bottom lip "In private?" I looked around and he nodded, leading me down the passageways and to his room "No." I shook my head and led him down a few doors to my room.

Erik laughed slightly as he made his way into the room "It's true, the beautiful ladies got the single rooms." He winked at me.

I smiled slightly and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling him down close to me "I want to talk about that night." I mumbled "I want to talk about what happened after I was put on a life boat against my will…" I shot him a look "I want to know if there was a boat waiting for the men on the other side, and I want to know why my mother wasn't in a life boat" I said tears welling up in my eyes.

Erik cleared his throat "Well, no, I mean…" he grumbled slightly and rubbed a hand down his vest "There was a boat on the other side; they were accepting men at least. Your father, Raoul and I hurried over as fast as we could, when we arrived they wouldn't let your father or Raoul on board." He looked at me, my eyes glossy "I was going to go down with the ship, naturally so I wasn't searching for a boat to board." He wiped a tear that had escaped my eyes "I spent the remaining time on board with your father and Raoul. He gave us his blessing, he said he had never seen you so happy before in your life. Although he hated to see the outcome of what happened when neither he nor I made it." He looked down at the ground, I wondered if he was going to cry. "Your father is a very humble man Christine, I only wish that I knew him longer." He shook his head and then looked back at me "Then we found your mother, she was sitting on a staircase that was close to being swallowed by the water. She said she had been looking for you for the better part of the night." He wiped another tear that seemed to escape from my eyes. "She was afraid, quite like you were afraid to die, but your father held her close and moved her to a higher and dryer part of the ship." He looked at me and sighed "I don't know what happened to them after that as I was instructed to work on the emergency flairs." He sighed and closed his eyes "It happened so quickly. The water rushed over me and I was being taken down with the ship, I thought of you, and I thought of what I was leaving behind and as I was ready to succumb to death, the ocean spit me back out, as if it didn't want me to leave you." He pulled me close to him, into one of the best hugs I had ever received.

I looked up at him and pulled my body away from his "So, my parents died together?" I closed my eyes, trying to prevent tears from falling, but it seemed to fail.

"Yes." Erik nodded

Tears flooded down my face, and a hand cupped over my mouth "My parents died together." I mumbled "My parents died…" I opened my eyes and looked at him "Together." I closed my eyes again, their smiling faces flooded my vision, they were together, and that had made me happy. I had pictured their deaths to be separate, but just as horrible. I only hoped that their bodies would be found, I would have loved to give them a proper burial. I opened my eyes and looked at Erik in the eyes, those deep oceanic blue eyes "They died together." I smiled slightly and inhaled slightly "That eases the pain." I looked at him and smiled slightly "It's comforting to know." I mumbled and looked at Erik's hands before I grabbed them and held them tightly. "I'm afraid to go back." I said after a while

Erik looked at me "What do you mean?" He brought up my hands and kissed the top of my hands

I sighed, Erik's lips felt wonderful against my skin although I was sure I still tasted like the sea "I-I'm afraid to go back on a boat, I'm afraid to go back and spend another two weeks out at sea. I don't want to ship to sink again." I swallowed hard and looked up at him "but I want to go home." I laughed and shook my head "I sound like a lunatic"

He laughed and nodded "Slightly. But I'll still love you anyway." He put my hands down and looked at me "If you don't want to go back, we don't have to."

I shook my head so violently that I had become dizzy myself "No. I want to go back. I want to." I grabbed at his hands as if I was pleading with him to let me go back to England, where I had belonged. America was no place for an English woman and no matter how much I wanted to stay earlier in my trip, it had all diminished by now.

He smiled and cupped my cheek "Of course, Love. Anything"

I smiled slightly and looked at him "You're too good to me Mr. Holloway, did you know that?" I looked up at him.

He pulled me into a hug tightly and I felt his chest rise and fall as he chuckled "Well, Mrs. Holloway, I'd have to say you're too good to me." He kissed the top of my head. "Let's say that you rest?" He stood up moving away from the bed "I have someone I'd like to look for."

I looked at him and reached for his hand "I don't want to leave your side Erik, When I woke up today, I was afraid that finding you was just a dream, a hopeful dream." I grabbed his hand after a few seconds of searching for it "Erik" I exhaled "After the ship had sunk I jumped out of the life boat to look for you" He looked shocked, a bit upset but he also had a smirk, something intrigued him about what I had done "Because I didn't want to be away from you. I don't want to be away from you again, I don't want to lose you again, Erik."

He placed a self assuring kiss on my lips, which had now turned chapped and still tasted of salt "I'll be back within the hour, I promise."

I nodded and watched Erik leave before I succumbed to sleep. I dreamed about my father; I dreamed about simpler times, it was when my mother was large with my brother and my father thought that he needed some much needed time with me before the new child came. He took me deep into the woods with a picnic basket that my mother had prepared for us. We had found a lovely meadow, full of green grass, flowers and the best part of all, it was my father and I. I remembered he had fashioned a kite for me out of our old curtains and a few sticks, that day we flew our kites, we ate lunch and we spent the entire day together.

"Christine."

I groaned and rolled over, my dress getting caught up within the sheets.

"Christine." The girlish voice said again, I had heard that voice before. Certantly it wasn't my childhood voice?

"Christiiiiinnneeee!" The voice cooed and I decided that it was time that I opened my eyes.

I was greeted to quite a surprise. The small child was so close to my face that she was burry, Her red hair was hard to miss, I smiled and wrapped the girl in a tight hug "Marabelle!" I smiled and let tears fall from my eyes. I looked up at Erik who was standing near the wall, his hands behind his back, but a smile plastered on his face.

"Why are you crying?" She questioned as she sat up on her heels.

I laughed slightly and wiped the tears away from my eyes and sat up, Erik came over as if it was his que and sat down next to me, holding my hand. I looked at him and smiled slightly "Because… Well it's not important! I'm glad you're okay." I looked at her "How are you parents? They are safe?" I almost regretted asking that question as her eyes filled with sorrow.

She looked at the bed linins and gathered a bunch in her hand "I haven't seen them. I believe that they have perished." She frowned and wiped at her eyes "I was up in first class, I shouldn't have been, but I was there!" Marabelle groaned before she had bursted into tears

I gathered her up in my arms, coddling her "Oh Sweetie." I sighed heavily and looked at Erik, her eyes filled with guilt. My hand rubbed the side of her head and I laid my own head on Erik's shoulder, who in turn laid his head ontop of mine. "Where are you going to stay Marabelle?" I prodded.

The girl sniffled "I 'unno."

I looked at Erik, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. "Honey," I looked at Marabelle and then at Erik "Could you leave Mr. Holloway and I for just a second?" I questioned, and she nodded pulling away from me.

She reached the door and pointed a slender finger "I'll be waiting out here." She smiled slightly.

I smiled and nodded "Okay." I watched her leave the room, the large door shutting loudly behind her. I looked at Erik, my eyes gleaming with an idea "Erik…"

He shook his head "No, Christine. We can't…" he leaned in closer "Not with a little girl on the other side of the door." He practically grunted.

I laughed and rested my hand on his knee "No, not that…Not now anyway" I smiled and winked at him "Erik, Marabelle doesn't have a family; I can't have her going to one of those Orphanages." I looked at my hands "I've been to one," I looked up at Erik who looked utterly confused "Well, I've never lived in one but during the Christmas season my family and I used to go to the orphanages and hand out treats my mother and I would bake." I laughed slightly "My father played Santa Claus, a rather scrawny one at that." I laughed again and then shook my head "The point is Erik, the Orphanages are dirty, and they aren't for a girl like Marabelle." I looked at my lap "I'd like for us to adopt her." I stared at the chiffon skirt before I looked back up at Erik's surprised face "I know it's quite early in our relationship, let alone our marriage to have children, but…." I shrugged and sighed dreamily "There's just something about Marabelle."

Erik looked at me, the surprised look still played on his face "Christine…" he started but then he stopped. He seemed confused and words seemed to be lost on him. "You're crazy you know that right?" he looked at me and smiled slightly "Do you think we're ready to have a child?" He knitted his eyebrows together "Not just any child, a slightly grown child? She's what… seven?"

I laughed slightly and nodded "Yes, I'm quite ready to have a slightly grown child." I laughed slightly ad played with my skirts "are you?"

He gave me a one armed shrug and a small smile "I don't think one is ever ready to be a father at first, at least not to a seven year old." He chuckled "But if you're ready then I'm ready." He knitted his eyebrows together again and spoke after awhile "Yes, I believe it would be fine." He smiled.

I smiled and wrapped my arms tightly around the man "oh Erik." I whispered and felt his hand rub up and down my back. "Once again, you're way too good to me." I kissed him gently and pulled away quickly. I smiled mischievously as he slightly whimpered at the absence of me on his lips, He'd survive. "Marabelle?" I stuck my head out of the door and spotted the little girl.

The girl jumped up and wrapped her arms around my waist "Are you really going to adopt me?" Her green eyes sparkled, which made my heart melt. I'd give this little girl the world if I could.

I laughed slightly and ushered the girl inside. Erik strode over to the girl and I, kneeling down to get to Marabelle's height "Only if you'd like us to." He looked at her and smiled.

The little girl nodded fiercely, her hair bouncing around, making her look like she was on fire "yes!" she said excitedly and then calmed down for a second "I'm sorry I listened in on your conversation."

I chuckled slightly, my eyes welling up with tears "Oh Marabelle" I hugged her tightly "It's quite alright."

Marabelle smiled slightly before she looked down at her feet again "Do I have to call you mother and father?" she looked up at Erik and I.

I rested my hand on Erik's shoulder and he looked up at me, as if this was a topic that I should tackle on my own, so I did and I shook my head "No, you don't have to if you don't want to." I smiled slightly "But you may call us mother and father if you'd like. It's all up to you Marabelle." I smiled slightly.

She nodded "Alright, thank you Christine."

My heart swelled and I smiled, for the first time I had someone who depended on me to take care of them. I could only hope that I could do the best I could and secretly hoped that in due time, Marabelle would call me Mom; but I wouldn't press it.

**Author's Note:** _I know in previous chapters I haven't written about how I am so thankful for your reviews! I have been cranking out these chapters like nobody's business; so far in advance (Writing this chapter while chapter 8 is currently up, I suppose I could take a break from writing to get the chapters caught up, but why? ;D) that the next chapters with Author's Notes don't tell you guys how appriticitave I am of all the hits this story has received and all the reviews! I promise one day I'll respond to each and every one of them :D I'd also like to thank you for putting up with some of the craaaaazy stuff I've been throwing out there, marriage three days into knowing each other, and now Marabelle being adopted; all of this without criticism lol! So I'd just like to say THANK YOU! All the hits, favorites, alerts and reviews make me smile each day!_


	13. New York State of Mind

Erik, Marabelle and I had moved to the 'mess hall' for our dinner, which was surprising compaired to the meal that we had served to us for breakfast. The fresh fish and asparagus was delightful and after some coaxing to Marabelle to try asparagus, she tried and as polite as she could, she spit it into her napkin. Erik seemed to find this amusing where as I had found it slightly annoying. My mother would have scalded me for doing such an act; but I wasn't my mother. I wasn't going to let this get to me; at least she had tried it.

The rest of our day was spent in my room as we would spend time with Marabelle, although she spent most of her time napping. The poor child had been exhausted, and I was sure that it was her way of grieving. Erik and I spent time on the floor, while Marabelle spent time on the bed and when it was time for supper, she rose without question and was once again her normal bubbly self.

Supper had passed with the same food that was being served for dinner, except instead of asparagus, they had boiled potatoes, which was a welcome taste. My eyes felt heavy after the meal and I excused myself, leaving Erik and Marabelle to finish their supper. My emotions had been running high and when I had reached my room, I was utterly exhausted, so much so I didn't want to open the door. I laughed slightly as my arms had felt like led as I raised them to unlock it.

Somehow I had made it to my bed after I had unlocked the door, for when I woke up in the middle of the night, I had two extra bodies in the bed with me. Erik was at my back, and Marabelle was at my front with Erik's arm wrapped around the two of us. A tear silently slid down my face, my new family had risen from the watery depths of the ocean, of a travesty, it was like a phoenix and I couldn't have been happier.

Days later, on April 20th, we arrived at the statue of liberty and she was beautiful. Her arm extended in the air with a torch that was symbolic to the American people; the crown perched atop her head seemed so far away, but it was beautiful all the same, the book she held in her hand was unreadable, but I was almost sure that it was the bible. Her copper robes glistened as the sun bathed her in light. The statue was truly a symbol of American freedom and I could feel the pride that radiated off the statue.

"Christine?" Marabelle moved up beside me and took my hand "What's that?"

I smiled and looked down at the girl "Well, that's the statue of liberty. The French gave it to the American's in the late eighteen hundreds." I smiled "She's beautiful isn't she?"

Marabelle nodded and looked up at me, her hair fell into her face, despite my feeble attemps to braid it earlier in the day. "Not as beautiful as you though." She smiled and looked back at the statue, which was lolling by slowly.

I smiled and pushed her hair away from her eyes gently before I turned to look back at the skyline of New York City. The sky scrapers were magnificent and they played with the sky which was a magnificent blue. Not a cloud in the sky today; the day that was supposed to be for Titanic. I sighed slightly and looked down at the child holding my hand, she was so innocent, yet she was so grown up at the same time, and I remembered being like that. Perhaps that was why I was so drawn to Marabelle, she and I were one of the same.

When the Carpathia docked at the New York harbor, we were given instructions on how to exit the boat. First class passengers first, like always. Erik, Marabelle and I had no belongings except for the clothes on our back. I made a mental note that during our stay in New York we'd have to buy some clothes as we couldn't possibly stay in the same clothes for another two weeks on our way back to England.

The hotels in America were offering free room and board for a few days only, which after all we had been through, was just enough or maybe not enough, I wasn't sure. My excitement to tour the city had grown as I sauntered down the walk way, Marabelle between Erik and I, as if we were afraid to lose her off the narrow way.

I stopped at the end of the walkway and looked at the land below me. I wished I had came to America with the rest of the Daae family, my family. I inhaled slightly and lifted my skirts as my right foot came in contact with the concrete of the New York Harbor. The feeling of solid land almost made me dizzy, I still had my sea legs as one would call it, but it didn't stop me from moving forward. I straightened up as another foot touched the solidness of New York City and it took all in me not to run off in a different direction from the ship. I grabbed Marabelle by the hand and Erik had stood by me and grabbed me by the hand as well. Flashes of cameras went off as we walked down the isle, away from the ship that had saved us, away from the memories that haunted us; at least for a little while.

I inhaled slightly and looked over to Erik, who had to tilt his head down slightly just to look at me. It made me smile, and it was comforting that he would always be taller than I, and that I would always have him to literally look up to "Where are we going?" I questioned.

Erik looked around "Well, I grabbed a voucher for…." He pulled it out of his pocket "The Gotham Hotel." He shrugged "I heard it was a posh place, perfect for you Christine." He winked at me "It's not too far from here, I believe that we should walk, it's a wonderful day in the city, or at least I think it's a wonderful day." He laughed slightly.

Marabelle looked up at Erik who towered over the girl "Erik?" She looked up at him and he looked down at her "How long are we going to be here?"

He pursed his lips and started towards the direction of the hotel, or at least I had hoped it was the direction of the Gotham hotel "Well, we are here for at least a week, until the new ship is ready to depart from the harbor."

Marabelle seemed unhappy "But why can't we leave tomorrow?"

Erik seemed annoyed, I could tell that raising Marabelle would prove to be a much more difficult task for Erik than it would be for me. "Because the next ship departs in a week, I promise."

I looked at Marabelle and smiled slightly "What do you say we go tour the city? See what America has to offer?" I smiled slightly "I saw a sign back there for ice cream." I raised my eyebrows and looked up at Erik "And if Erik is feeling up to it, we can get new clothes. There must be a bank around here somewhere." I mumbled to myself. This concrete jungle was different than the one back home, foreign in concept.

He smiled and ruffled Marabelle's hair who seemed to enjoy the display of effection Erik was giving her. Then I realized that's how her braid had messed up earlier "Of course, I'm up for it. Who could not be up for some shopping with two pretty ladies?" He winked over at me.

Marabelle beamed up at me and smiled "He said we were pretty, didchu hear that?" she smiled

I laughed slightly and nodded "Yes, I did. Erik is always a gentleman." I smiled and held his hand tightly. He looked at me and smiled, he seemed happy, he seemed content.

His eyes made their way down to the piece of paper in his hand and his brow knitted together "What street is this Christine?"

I frowned slightly and looked up at the street sign "West street" I said quetley as a lady walked past me looking at me strangely.

He seemed not to notice the strange looks we have started to aquire "Well, great!" he threw his hands up in the air "We're just a street over." I looked at him, honestly shocked. His actions suggested he was angry, although he wasn't angry at all. He looked over at me and smiled "I know how to get around pretty well." He boasted and it caused Marabelle to laugh and both actions made me smile.

"What street?" I questioned which prompted him to look down at the paper again

"Greenwich street." He said raising an eyebrow, the scar following the eyebrow raise in a pristine manner. It made me love the man at my side even more. I laid my head on his shoulder as we walked, making it slightly awkward to walk, but comfortable none the less.

Erik, Marabelle and I made our way to Greenwich street, which was nothing on like it was in England. I was disappointed but none the less ready to take a shower, seeing as if the Gotham hotel had a shower, I was sure they did. Erik had checked us in to The Gotham hotel and we had received our key, which was a tiny brass one. They paled in comparison to the slightly larger silver and gold ones the Titanic had, the ones that were still safely on Erik's hip.

We boarded the elevator, much to my dismay. I had backed into the corner and turned a horrible shade of white. Marabelle said I had looked like one of the sheep they had before they had to sell it. It made me laugh when she mentioned something about cutting my curls like she did the sheep's and proceeded to make 'scissors' with her first and middle finger and pretended to cut my hair.

We finally reached the top floor, and into our room which was rather small. Two beds sat in one room with a tiny bathroom off to the side in another room. A sitting room was adjourned through a large hole in the wall, but it wasn't filled with fancy furnature like the Titanic. I leaned in the doorway to the sitting room and closed my eyes. I had to stop comparing everything I had seen to the titanic. Nothing was going to compare, nothing.

"Something wrong with the room, love?" Erik said as he moved in behind me, wrapping his arms around my tiny waist.

I sighed slightly and leaned into him, placing my hands ontop of his "No, nothing. It's perfect." I sighed once again "Which bed did Mary take?" I questioned.

He glanced behind him "The one on the left." He chuckled

I smiled wearly and looked back at the sitting room "Do you think you and Mary could take a tour of the city? I didn't realize how tired I was until now. All the emotions of the week seemed to have taken a toll on me." I smiled slightly.

"Of course." He moved his hands away from my waist and moved into the bedroom "Marabelle, let's go exploring shall we? Christine is tired."

"D'aww.." Marabelle made her way towards me and wrapped her arms around my waist "I wish you could come with us Christine." She pouted.

I laughed and yawned slightly "Well, perhaps tomorrow."

She nodded and smiled before she grabbed Erik's large hand "Can we find a toy store!" she said excitedly as she and Erik both walked out of the door.

**Authors Note:** _Like how I threw in a bit of batman in this here story ;) can't take the nerd out of the girl, even if she never left it anyway. By the way, as I write this, it's may fourth, you'll get this much much later than may fourth, but may the fourth be with you ;)_


	14. Rainy Days

_BOOM!_

My eyes opened as the sound of thunder rippled through the room, It wouldn't be too long before the pair was to return from their trip. The rain soon came down and prevented me from a further slumber. I sighed slightly and moved my way towards the window looking out. There went my beautiful New York day.

_BOOM!_

I jumped back from the window, placing my hand on my heart giving out a slight laugh. I had never been so close to the sky, never so close to the thunderstorms that I had loved to watch and listen to as a child. I turned around as the door hastily opened, and in poured the two people I had been waiting for.

_BOOM! BOOM!_

Marabelle burst into laughter as she pushed her light red locks away from her eyes, she was soaked to the bone, just like Erik. "Christine! Christine!" Marabelle ran to the bed closest to the window and jumped on it, I guessed to get on my level. "Erik bought me a beeeeaaautiful new dress! And a new teddy bear although it doesn't replace Mr. Wilkins!"

I laughed and picked her up and put her on the ground, I didn't want the linens to get soiled "Oh, he did, did he?"

Marabelle nodded and looked back at the man behind her "And Erik got you a really pretty new dress and something else that's realllllllly pretty!" she cooed

I looked up at Erik who had two bags by his feet "You must realize how hard it was to shop for a lady." He shook his head "A dress size in America is not the same as in Europe" he sighed and sat down on the bed "but I did get you something special."

I looked at him and smiled "You already got me a dress…" I sat next to him but he stood up and gently pulled me into the sitting room and onto a very comftorable couch.

He shook his head "No no, It's not the dress." He grabbed my hands and got down on one knee "You never got a decent proposal." He pulled a small box out of his pocket and I gasped slightly "Christine," he glanced over to the doorway, I suspected he was looking at a very curious Marabelle "You've made me the happiest I've been in a while, you've looked past all my faults and you've still loved me." He laughed slightly "You even married me when I didn't have a ring to offer you So I guess what I'm saying is; will you continue to be my wife?" He opened the tiny light blue box and exposed the princess cut fourteen carat diamond ring with a simple thin gold band.

I raised a shaky hand to my mouth and a shakily exhaled "O-Of course! Of course!" I wrapped my arms around him, nearly knocking him backwards onto the floor "Oh Erik." I swooned before planting a kiss on his lips "You didn't have to!" I exclaimed as he slipped the beautiful ring on my finger

He shook his head "No, I had to." He clasped my hand in his and I noticed a new band was wrapped around his finger, not the Titanic ones we had exchanged on the ship. I played with the ring on his finger and he grinned sheepishly "Yeah, I couldn't help myself, I knew you'd pick it out for me anyway" he winked before he placed a hand behind my head and placed another kiss upon my lips.

I laughed and pulled away "Oh Erik, you know me so well!" I smiled and pressed my forehead against his "you're wonderful." I mumbled

He laughed slightly and looked at me "Oh, I'm aware" he gave a slight smile and then moved next to me on the couch.

Erik and I sat in silence as Marabelle played silently on the floor. The knock at the door was almost lost in the sounds of the thunder, but Erik, with his keen hearing had heard it and left the room, leaving Marabelle and I alone in the sounds of a New York City springtime storm. Erik walked back in sometime later, with a piece of paper clutched in his hands, crumpling the side that he was holding.

"What's that?" I questioned as I reached for it.

He moved the piece of paper back as if it was posin and he didn't want me to touch it "You and I have been summoned to court to testify about the titanic." He clicked his tongue against his teeth "The man was a worker for the New York Senator and had handed me two. They both say the same things except the times are different, you're supposed to appear tomorrow at ten in the morning, I'm at four in the afternoon."

I looked at him "I—I can't… I have never…" I felt my stomach knot and the bile rise in my throat. Before I knew it I was concealed in the bathroom emptying the contents of my stomach into the wash basin. I didn't want to relive that night, I didn't want to relive the loss of my family, the loss of my childhood friend or the suspected loss of Erik. Erik just wrapped his arms around me, I suspected it was out of comfort, and I was glad.

The rest of the day I stayed in the sitting room with Erik and Marabelle. For supper we left and ate at a fancy New York Restrauant and then came back home and put Marabelle to bed. For the rest of the night Erik and I talked in hush whispers about the upcoming day, that I was so nervous about.

**Authors Note:** _sorry that this was a short chapter. I wanted something kind of in the middle to just show life at the hotel for a while, but I didn't want to get into the next day and honestly I was lost at what else to write. It's just something to keep everyone entertained and I mean, who wouldn't want to get a engagement ring when they originally lost their own "wedding" rings? Buuut like I said it's just pretty much a filler. Not too happy with it but the next chapters should be better. PROMISE :D_


	15. Christine's Inquiry

The thunder made sure that it's presence was known throughout the night. Marabelle, who had normally slept in the bed next to Erik and my bed, had decided to sleep in between us and she too had made sure her presence was known. Erik had snored half way through the night and through all three sounds and the fact that they wanted me at court the next day, kept me up most of the night. When the hands on the clock had reached eight, I slipped out of bed and prepared myself for the day , as quiet as I could.

When the clocked struck nine I pulled my gloves on and made my way out the door, shutting it behind me as quietly as I could. I slipped down the staircase and briskly made my way to the front desk of the hotel.

"excuse me…" I placed my hands at the end of the counter "I have to make it to the court house by nine-thirty, Could you please tell me where it's located?"

The lady behind the counter smiled slightly "well, it's just a few blocks south from here." She cocked her head to one side and then, as if something had clicked in her head she straightened up and nodded "It's raining outside, you might want to use an umbrella."

I shook my head "I haven't one." In fact, I did but it was sitting at the bottom of the Atlantic with the rest of my belongings.

The lady frowned slightly and disappeared under the table before she appeared holding an umbrella "You can borrow mine, I just arrived a few minutes ago so I won't be needing it for a while." She once again cocked her head "You're the young lady who came in with that unusual looking man and the child." She smiled slightly "How lucky you must be to have your family."

I felt my eyes sting with tears and I quickly blinked them away "t-Thank you, w-we're extremely lucky to have each other." I gave the best smile I could and grabbed the umbrella "I'll return this as soon as I return." I rushed outside and popped open the umbrella and hastily made my way towards the court house, which I had found easy to find.

The building was large, with six tall pillars that seemed to be holding up the roof. The stairs were grand, at least fifty, and they seemed to be marble. I groaned slightly and gathered my skirts in one hand and made my way up the stairs. When I made it to the top, I noticed a gold statue of a lady holding a even scale, blindfolded. I studied the statue for a while. I was wondering if I was trying to calm my nerves, or gain the courage to go into the large marble building.

"may I help you?"

I looked up at the tall, slender elderly man who stood at a post near the front door. I shut the umbrella and made my way towards the gentleman "well, sir…" I stumbled over my words "I am to be summoned at nine thirty to testify." I reached inside the tiny handbag that I brought and pulled out the piece of paper and showed him "where should I go?"

The man looked at the paper and then leaned back in his seat "terrible tragedy." He shook his head and looked at me "quite unbelievable that a pretty little thing like you survived." He handed the paper back to me "up the stairs, first courtroom."

I nodded and mumbled a thank you before I walked up the stairs and entered the first courtroom I saw. The courtroom was filled with people, some who I had seen on the ship before she had hit the iceberg, some I had no clue who they were. Mr. Ismay was finishing up his summon as I had entered the room, and I could tell how nervous he was.

"The court calls its next witness to the stand, Christine Daae." The gentleman looked around and I raised my tiny hand before setting the umbrella near the door and making my way towards the front of the room. "Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you god?"

I nodded "I do."

The man smiled and led me over to the witness stand, where a seat had been placed, for I'm sure comfort. It lead me to believe that this process was going to be longer than the thirty minutes I had expected.

"Let's get started shall we, Senator smith?" the judge raised his eyebrows at the man who had led me to the seat.

"Yes, we shall." He turned to me and cleared his throat "please, state your full name for me?"

I swallowed hard "Christine Elizabeth Holloway."

Senator Smith looked confused "Did you get married, Miss Daae?"

I nodded "I did."

He nodded "we will take this into consideration." He started to pace "Your place of residence?"

I followed him with my eyes "London England sir"

"And your age?"

"I'm twenty-five"

He smiled slightly and stopped in front of me "what's your occupation?"

I shook my head "I do not have an occupation sir."

He nodded "Very well, Tell me, Mrs. Holloway, where you boarded the ship?"

"I joined in Southampton."

"what time?" he prodded

"I believe that I arrived on the ship around nine in the morning, perhaps nine thirty, ten at the latest as we were running a bit behind."

He nodded "what day?" he seemed amused

"The tenth of April" I spat out

He took a drink of water and then looked at me "The port of destination was New York?"

I nodded "New York"

He nodded and cleared his throat once again. I wondered if he was getting tired of speaking and I wondered how long he had been speaking today already "will you kindly tell the committee the circumstances surrounding your voyage, and, as succinctly as possible beginning with your going onboard the vessel at Southampton, your place on the ship on the voyage with any circumstances you feel would be helpful to us in this inquiry?"

"The circumstances surround my voyage were no different than the rest of the other first class passengers sir." I looked at him

"Who did you board with?"

I looked at my skirts, the emerald green was striking, or maybe it was just because I didn't want to answer the question.

"I'll repeat myself, who did you board with?"

I looked up at him and cleared my throat "I'm terribly sorry" I looked around the court room at the people sitting there, listing to my rambles about the titanic, about who I had boarded with and we didn't even get into the depths of this, as it had only been ten minutes "I boarded with my mother and my father. We also had my father's business partner's son along with us."

He nodded "Okay, Mrs. Holloway, will you describe to us what you did after the initial impact?"

I inhaled sharply "well, I was getting ready for bed as I had just arrived back to my cabin after sitting and gossiping with the ladies." I lied "It was then that I didn't hear the engines. I found it odd that the engines would have stopped, espically if we were to make it to new York by April 20th." I rubbed my hands on my skirts "so I left the comforts of my room to go out and get details of what happened. When I had asked a few passengers, they were unaware of what happened and then I overheard the captain talking." I lied. I learned through Erik, who was hastily dressing in his uniform, informing me to get dressed, how nervous he was "So I went to go look for my mother and father, and of course Raoul, that's what I did after the impact sir."

"did the officers seem to know the serious character of this collision?"

I nodded "I have reason to believe they did"

"What might that reason be?"

"when I had found my mother, they were getting the lifeboats out. I don't believe they would have done so if it wasn't serious. No one wants to induce panic for no certain reason."

He nodded "Where was your cabin?"

"A-Deck"

He shook his head "I wish you would describe just where that was."

"sorry," I mumbled "The sun deck is the upper deck of all, then A deck is the second, and B deck, so on and so on."

"we were told that there were very few passengers on A-Deck. What was your room number?"

"A-17" I mumbled

"Pardon?"

"A-17" I said louder "My family and I had the two staterooms that were available, my mother and I sharing one, my father and raoul sharing the other."

"Why were you traveling to New York?"

"We were to come here for holiday. My family and I also wanted to be aboard the Titanic's maiden voyage. It became a tradition for my family and I for the white star line's ships. We admired them emencely."

"did you personally see ay icebergs, or any other large volume of ice?"

I shook my head "I did not, sir. Not until I had entered into a lifeboat. It was hard to see, but it was there. Looming even, I have never seen an iceberg before, sir."

"Did you see any of the life boats being lowered?"

I nodded "I did, certantly three."

He inhaled "can you tell us, how exactly they were lowered?"

"they were swung out, people were ushered into the boats and they were simply lowered."

"do you know if these lifeboats are on different decks?"

I looked at him "They were not. They were all on the sun deck."

"So they were on the sun deck, the upper most deck of all?"

"yes."

"Do you know of any order or supervision excercised by the officers of the ship in loading these lifeboats?"

I nodded "I do yes. They were taking women and children first."

"when you left in a lifeboat, how many men were on board?"

I scratched at the side of my face "I don't believe there were any men on board, sir as I had boarded a lifeboat quite early in the sinking."

"enlighten me, Mrs. Holloway, how many people were in the boat as you were being lowered?"

"I'd say about thirty, if that."

"was that at it's full capacity?"

I averted my eyes away from the Senator "No, it was not it's full capacity."

"Do you know how many people the life boats could hold?"

I nodded "I do, I was told they were tested with the weight of sixty-five fully grown men."

"And there were thirty in your boat?"

"Yes."

"did you see the any other boats being lowered?"

"I did sir." I looked up at him

"were they at full capacity?"

I nodded "They were sir."

"After the titanic sunk, did your boat go back looking for people?"

I shook my head "I do not know sir."

"What do you mean you do not know? Did the boat unload you and the other ladies onboard to go search for survivors in the water?"

I shook my head "I do not know sir."

He sighed in frustruation and noticed that he had raised his voice "how do you not know Ma'am?"

I inhaled "I do not know because I was not aboard a lifeboat. After the ship had sunk I jumped overboard and went in search for my husband and my family. I found an overturned boat to where I resided upon until the Carpathia picked us up."

Senator smith nodded slightly and then pulled out a pocket watch "Well, our time is up, Mrs. Holloway. I'd like to thank you for your testimony."

I stood up and nodded "You're welcome sir. I'm sure I'll see you again later this afternoon for my husband's questioning." I walked past the man and to the door, grabbing the umbrella and walking out into the rain once again.

I quickly headed back into the hotel, and thanked the lady at the check in and handed her back the umbrella that she had let me borrow. I made my way upstairs and to the door of our hotel room and slipped the key into the hole and opened the door to find the most delightful sight.

Erik's six foot six frame was hunched over and his knees were almost hitting his chest, Marabelle's hair was flowing freely and she was trying to hold her skirts down, both were laughing and both were having a wonderful time as they jumped on the bed.

"CHRISTINE!" Marabelle shreaked and jumped off the bed, stumbling and almost ran into me "You're home!" she giggled and looked at Erik, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed, and pointed at me "Christine is home."

Erik laughed and stood up "of course she is." He walked towards me and took my hands in his leading me towards the bed and sat me down "How did it go?"

I shrugged slightly "It went fine, honestly." I inhaled and looked at him "it was just simple questioning, nothing more. He was slightly rude though, so be careful when you get in there." I smiled and kissed him softly.

"EWWWW" Marabelle made a face and ran out of the bedroom and into the sitting room to play with the toys that were sitting on the ground.

Erik laughed loudly and stood up and twirled me around "the dress looks beautiful on you, Christine."

I smiled and looked at him "well, I have to thank this one guy, he did pick it out for me. I believe it was my husband." I winked and stood on the tips of my toes to kiss him.

He laughed slightly and gently kissed me but pulled quickly away "Marabelle and I ordered room service. Roast beef, carrots and peas. Hope you don't mind."

I smiled and nodded "It sounds delicious!"

About an hour later the food had arrived, Erik, Marabelle and I all ate our lunch in the sitting room at the coffee table, sitting on the floor. It was unconventional but I loved it. I had loved our little family from the moment it was established, and I didn't want to let either of them go.

**Authors Note:** _I've copied some of the inquiry questions for Christine from J. Bruce Ismay's inquiry but a few of the questions are mine. If you'd like to read the full testimonies you can go to .com it's absolutely brilliant. It has both the United States and British inquiries so if you'd like to take a gander over there and read them, then go ahead :D I'd love to hear what you think of it. I'd also like to throw out there that TLIL is almost finished. I've mentioned this to a few people and while I have a project waiting, I was also thinking about re-writing one of my stories. It would be great if you could PM me or even email me or leave a comment with the review you're going to give ;) on which one I should re-write. Here are the options;_

_Save me from my solitude_

_The balance of Power_

_(continue) The heart never lies_

_(continue) Guilty secrets_

_I'd love your feedback! Thanks!_


	16. Erik's Inquiry

Erik left around three thirty and Marabelle and I decided to join Erik at the courthouse to watch his testimony around four. The rain had cleared up, at least for the time being, allowing Marabelle and I to walk to the court house without the loaned umbrella.

Marabelle and I made it to the top of the staircase and I kneeled down and looked at her "Now Marabelle, we have to be really, really quiet when we get inside okay?"

Marabelle nodded "Promise to be weally, weally quiet!" she chirped and looked at me before making a zipping motion over her lips.

I smiled and opened the door, politely nodded to the same guard who had been sitting there and up the stairs and into the first courtroom, where Erik's testimony was just starting.

"Senator Smith, Mr. Holloway has been sworn in, we are ready to precede."

Senator Smith nodded and turned to look at Erik "what is your name?"

Erik looked up at the senator "Erik Eugene Holloway"

"Mr. Holloway, where do you reside?"

"Southampton."

"How old are you"

"I'll be 29 in three days."

"What is your business?" Senator smith questioned

"Seaman."

"How long have you been in the service or employment?"

Erik looked at the man "Eleven years and six months"

"How extensive has been your service in that time?" he questioned

Erik looked confused "I do not quite follow you."

Senator Smith sighed "How much service have you seen, in what capacities?"

"All all the capacities in the white star service – fourth, third, second and first officer."

"You have been in the white star service during all of that time?"

Erik shook his head "No sir."

"What official positions have you held?"

"Fourth, third, second and first officer."

"What position do you occupy now?"

"First officer of the Titanic"

"How long have you been First officer?"

"About three years"

"When did you go aboard the titanic?"

"In Belfast."

"When?"

"March 19 or 20"

"Did you make the so-called trial trips?"

"Yes, sir."

"Of what did they consist?"

"Turning circles and adjusting compasses"

The senator turned to the people in the room and knitted his eyebrows before he turned back towards Erik "in what waters?"

"Belfast Lough"

"How extensive is that lough?"

Erik gave a one shoulder shrug "I can hardly say offhand without seeing a chart."

"Have you any data here that shows?"

"No." Erik said flatly.

"Just state as nearly as you can"

Erik sighed heavily and looked away from the senator for a moment. I suppose he had spotted Marabelle and I for he continued "it may be about fifteen miles long widening out from a few miles wide to perhaps seven miles. That is only approximate, sir."

"Have you ever been in that water before?"

Erik shook his head "Only passing through"

"How did you happen to pass through it?"

"Going into Belfast or somig out bound to some port. I do not mean in an official capacity; as a passenger. I have been though it in an official capacity about 8 years ago."

Senator smith took a sip of his water and looked at his notes before he spoke again "is that water usually selected for these trial tests for new ships?"

"Yes."

"What was the condition of the weather when you made this trial test?"

"light breeze, clear weather, sir." At this point, I had believed that Erik's 'sir's' had became more scarastic than in the beginning

"From the time you boarded the titanic, did you, at any time encounter any rough weather?"

"No, sir."

"You were always in smooth water, so-called?"

"Yes, sir."

"was this boat tested at it's maximum speed?"

"that I could not say, sir"

"What was the maximum speed of this boat?"

"That I could not say, sir. She was never put, to my knowledge, to her maximum speed."

"What did you understand it to be?"

"About 22 ½ to 23 knots."

"From whom did you get that information?"

"General rumor, sir."

"what boat had you been on before you went on the titanic?"

"The oceanic"

"the oceanic, of the same line?"

"Of the same line."

"How large a boat is the oceanic?"

"Seventeen thousand tons gross"

"Do you know her maximum speed?"

"twenty-one knots"

Senator smith nodded and cleared his throat "Do you know who was aboard the titanic in these trial tests?"

"A great number, I knew some of them."

"Please state those that you know."

"Capt. Smith, Mr. Murdoch, Lightoller, Mr. blair, second officer mr. pitman, third officer mr. boxhall, fourth officer Mr. Lowe, Fifth officer Mr. Moody, sixth officer and Mr. Andrews of Harland and Wolff"

"Representing the builders?"

Erik nodded "Yes, sir. I could not say anyone else with any accuracy."

"was Mr. Ismay aboard?"

"Not to my knowledge, sir."

"Did you hear afterwards that he was on board?"

"No sir."

"Alright." He cleared his throat and looked at Erik once again "After the final test, what was done with the boat?"

"We proceeded toward Southampton."

"Immediately?"

"Almost immediately after taking on board a few things that had been left behind, which were required for the completion of the ship."

"What?"

"So far as I know, requisites down in the galley, cooking apparatus, a few chairs and such things like that."

"Was the life-saving equipment—"

"oh, no, sir; nothing like that"

The senator sounded annoyed "Was the life-saving equipment complete?"

"Yes, sir."

"Of what did it consist?"

"The necessary number of lifeboats."

"I wish you would say how that is determined, if you can."

"By the number of people on board"

"You do not know how many people there are on board until you are ready to start?"

"no sir."

"Is it not determined by the number of accommodations rather than by the number of people who get aboard?"

"There must be life-saving apparatus for everyone on board, regardless of accommodations."

"Yes; but what I desire to know is whether in each stateroom on each deck, in all classes, whether there is any rule and whether it was followed at that time, so far as you know, in equipping this boat with life preservers and lifebelts and anything else that might appropriately go into the rooms and be upon the decks of a boat of that character?"

"She was perfectly complete throughout sir."

"I wish you would describe a lifebelt."

"It consists of a series of pieces of cork- allow me to show you by illistruation – a hole is cut in there" Erik drew something on a small piece of paper "for the head to go through and this falls over front and back and there are tapes from the back then tied around the front. It is a new idea and very effective because no one can make a mistake in putting it on."

"is there cork on both sides?"

"On both sides."

"are the arms free?"

"Free, absolutely"

"And when in the water does this adhere or extend?"

"it is tied to the body."

"have you ever tried one of these on?"

"Yes, sir."

Senator smith nodded in improvement "have you ever been into the sea with one of them?"

"yes, sir"

"where?"

"From the titanic."

"in this recent collision?"

"yes, sir."

"how long were you in the sea with a lifebelt on?"

"Between half an hour to an hour"

"what time did you leave the ship?"

"I didn't leave it."

"did the ship leave you?"

"Yes, sir."

Senator smith nodded and rubbed his hands on his pants "Very well, sir. We are finished for today."

Erik nodded and moved away from the witness stand and quickly towards Marabelle and I. He gently grabbed my hand I grabbed Marabelle's and we walked out of the court room in silence, the heavy door was the only thing to make a sound.

For the next nine days, erik appeared in and out of the courtroom, twice on the last day. It was a long tedious process causing Marabelle and I to explore New York city and all of her grandur. Marabelle and I enjoyed sun filled days in central park while we ate a nathan's hotdog.

"Christine" Marabelle said through a mouthful of hotdog

"Marabelle" I scolded "Proper young ladies do not talk with their mouth full." I gave her a look.

Marabelle chewed the rest of her hot dog and swallowed before she spoke again "I'm sorry Christine" Marabelle frowned and looked at her hotdog.

I sighed and put my hand on her back "Marabelle, it's okay. It's just not lady like to talk with your mouth full." I smiled and rubbed a hand up and down her back.

"I'm never going to be good enough to be first class." She threw her hot dog into the bush and crossed her arms.

I sighed and looked at her "Marabelle! Do not throw a fit out in public. You're plenty good enough and it doesn't matter about class." I looked at her, I didn't know how to address the etiquette subject. I didn't want to bring up that she had come from a poor family, but I had to bring up that she needed some serious work on her etiquette "Well, when we get back home to England, I can show you a few things that my mother taught me." I smiled.

"You're not my mother." Marabelle mumbled.

I sighed slightly and stood up "let's go Marabelle, Erik must be finished with the inquiry by now." I gently grabbed Marabelle's hand and made my way towards the courthouse. Tears threatened to spill out of my eyes, but I kept my composure. I had noticed Marabelle getting distant during our stay here in New York, and I wasn't sure why.

"Christine!" Erik rushed down the steps and smiled slightly. When he made his way toward me his smile disenegrated and he frowned "what's wrong?"

I shook my head "Nothing, absolutely nothing" I croaked and forced a smile "What are you so happy about?" I rubbed his arm before he took my hand.

"That was the last inquiry. The united states government gave us tickets to go home tomorrow morning." He smiled slightly.

"that's wonderful Erik, absoutley wonderful." I smiled slightly and hugged him tightly "I can't wait to be home, it will feel so wonderful."

He nodded "yes, of course." He looked at me "we have to discuss where we'd be living, Christine. In your home town of London or if we'd be living in Southampton."

I looked at him "We can discuss it on the ship ride home, we will have plenty of time." I inhaled deeply and looked up at Erik "I'm not feeling too well. Perhaps you could take Marabelle to central park again?" my stomach churned "I think the hot dog that I consumed was rancid." I held my stomach.

"do you want us to come back with you?" He looked at me, worried.

"No, no it's okay." I smiled and hugged him tightly before giving Marabelle a hug, who didn't return it back "I'll be okay, I promise."

Erik sighed and nodded "Okay, if you insist." He held out his hand for Marabelle, who gladly took it and they both walked away. I frowned slightly and rushed toward the hotel, each step I took proved harder to keep the vomit down and each step I became hotter and hotter, I shook and when I didn't think I could hold it any longer, I made it into the hotel room and up to my room just in time to spew the contents of my stomach into the wash basin. I groaned slightly and once again granted freedom to the contents of my stomach.

After about five more minutes of throwing up, it finally stopped and I was able to move to the bed. I felt like death and I wondered what would have brought it on so suddenly. I wondered if it was home sickness, but when I had visited my aunt Mayble in franc for the summer months, I never got sick from being home sick, nor had I experienced a sinking ship first hand. I laid on my back and let my fingers trace around my stomach, trying to ease the gurgles.

"_Come Josephine in my flying machine_" I gagged slightly but managed to hold whatever wanted to come up down "_and it's up she goes, up she goes. Balance yourself like a bird on a beam, in the air she goes, there she goes. Up, Up, a little bit higher, oh, my the moon is on fire. Come Josephine in my flying machine going up. All on. Good-bye. Oh, say Let us fly girl_" I mumbled before I nodded off to sleep.

My dreams consisted of Marabelle telling me that I wasn't her mother, that she had hated me and that she ran away and got lost in new York and I was unable to find her. I awoke with a start when I heard the door open, my stomach still felt groggy.

"how are you feeling Christine?" Erik sat down next to me and rubbed my stomach, I had to admit that his touch was soothing, and I had felt almost instantly better.

"A bit better" I sat up and I felt instantly sick once again. I pushed Erik away and made it into the bathroom. I had tried to be as quiet as I could possibly be, but I had failed. As I sat on the floor in the private toilet, I thought about the life Erik and I were going to have when we got back to England, were we going to live in London or Southampton? Besides Marabelle, how many children did we want or did we want any at all? I paused for a second. Children. I inhaled slightly and looked down, it was a possibility, and I'd have given anything to have my mother with me, she would know. I sighed and laid my head on the wall next to me. Anything was possible.


	17. Arangements

Erik had helped me most of the night, as I spent it in the bathroom. He was a dear and had brought a blanket and even a pillow and spent the night near me while Marabelle slept soundlessly in the other room, with many of her new stuffed animals that Erik had bought her.

The next day as we traveled to the harbor I let my mind travel to the possibility of a child. The sickness had subsided considerably, and I was comfortable again. Marabelle still wasn't talking to me, and I was unsure why she had changed her mood so suddenly. I had beaten myself up over it and I was almost positive it was because of the lesson I had tried to install in the young lady.

"Erik." I mumbled as we stood at the bottom of the walk way "I don't think I can get on the ship." I mumbled.

"of course you can Christine, once you get on it, it will be like you never got off, it's not as grand as the titanic but it works. It's just for two weeks time, you'll be okay." He grabbed my hand and held onto it tightly "I'll be here, no matter what."

I smiled slightly and squeezed his hand "Promise?"

"of course."

"Come on!" Marabelle whined

Erik sighed and looked at me "She's been a lot to handle lately." He rubbed the back of his neck as we both walked up the gang plank, my stomach twisting into knots.

I looked at him "I didn't notice." I mumbled, in fact I did notice. I noticed that Marabelle changed into a completely different person almost overnight, and in fact, I had spent my waking moments wondering if Marabelle had family to go back to in Ireland. It was awful of me to think such thoughts, as I had loved this little girl and felt the pain of losing one's parents. Except she just didn't lose her parents, she lost her whole family, all her brothers and sisters and her silly stuffed animal who seemed to be her only friend. I sighed slightly and searched for our room numbers in silence, finally finding the tiny cabin on the second deck. Marabelle claimed a bed and laid down in it, almost instantly falling asleep, which in all reality was alright by me.

A soft knock at the door came a few minutes later with what we had accumulated in the week we had spent in New York, a ticket check and of course a small lesson on how to work the lifebelts, which were strikingly like the Titanic's.

I made my way over to the second bed and looked at Marabelle sleeping, her hair was strewn all over the pillow and all over her face, if it was up to me, her hair would be braided, but the little girl barely spoke two words to me since the park incident, and whenever I would try to touch her hair, she'd pull away and walk into the other room. Whatever was bothering this little girl, was defiantly hurting me in the process, as if I wasn't grieving enough already.

"erik?" I whispered, wrapping my arms around myself, my eyes still fixated on the little girl.

"Yeah?" I felt the mattress dip down next to me as Erik had sat.

"I have noticed a change in Marabelle, something is bothering her and I don't know what." I bit my bottom lip, I wasn't going to cry, at least not here, not now "Actually, I think I might." I looked up at Erik "When we were in the park, Marabelle spoke with her mouth open, I corrected her and told her that's not how young ladies act and—and I told her that when we got home I could teach her a few things my mother taught me, she told me I wasn't her mother" I buried my face in my hands and sobbed into them.

Erik's large hand rubbed up and down my back "It's not your fault Christine, Honestly. You didn't do anything." He sighed and pulled me into his arms as I continued to sob. "I don't think that's what she is angry over" he whispered "whenever I ask, she won't tell me and I won't prod an answer out of her."

I wiped my eyes and looked up at him "is it bad that I've been thinking about finding a family member for her to go to when we get home?" I buried my face in my hands again "of course it's bad!" I whispered "I promised this girl we would adopt her, and here I am trying to pin her on someone else."

Erik sighed and stroked my hair "Perhaps, Christine, that's what she needs. Perhaps she doesn't need us like we initially thought. She needs someone she's close to, someone she knows really well, and someone who can understand her."

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply "but I can understand her!" I opened my eyes and let them connect with Erik's deep blue ones "I lost my parent's too, I lost my best friend, and I almost lost you. I understand."

Erik sighed and looked at the little girl sleeping on the bed "I'm just saying Christine, it would be better for all of us for her to go to someone who is actual family. It would be an easier transition."

I looked at him, suddenly angry at him "So, whenever we have children it will just be okay to toss them to the wayside when they turn this age and hate me for no reason?"

Erik looked at me, stunned. His mouth opened and closed like he was a fish, stretching the scars with him "But, you just said you thought about handing her to a family member."

I stared at him "I know what I said Erik!" I stood up and shook my head "Unbelievable!" I mumbled and walked out of the room, trying not to slam the door, even though I was angry. Why was I angry again? I didn't even have a reason to be angry at Erik, it was my idea to hand Marabelle to a family member, I couldn't take care of her, not the way she had been acting and certainly couldn't take care of her when she hated me for no reason.

I stormed up the stairs and over to the side of the ship and looked out at the endless sea. I wondered if making this voyage was the right call. A part of me was missing New York, having spent a week there I realized that it wasn't as bad as it seemed, but a larger part of me missed my home in London. I leaned on the railing and looked down at the water, where dolphins had decided to race with the boat.

I smiled slightly and pushed a curl out of my face. I remembered seeing the dolphin's dance along side of the titanic. I frowned slightly and looked back at the staircase that led down to the cramped quarters that the three of us shared. I chewed on the bottom of my lip and pushed my head inside, where I found Marabelle, still asleep, and Erik laying on the bed, with the bible open. "Erik" I whispered. He looked up at me and I motioned for him to come out.

He placed the bible face down on the bed, reserving his spot and made his way outside of the room and he shut the door silently behind him "hey." He mumbled.

"I'm sorry I got angry." I looked at a couple passing us, who seemed to be lost in their own conversation. "Today, I just feel so emotional" I shook my head "I think it's the fact that going back on a ship is really terrifying." I smiled slightly and looked up at him "I went to the edge of the ship, looked down and saw dolphins on the side; Just like I did when I was on Titanic."

Erik smiled slightly "Then it must be a good sign then."

My face fell slightly "but the titanic sank, Erik. I saw dolphins and it sank."

He shook his head "No, dolphins are a good thing." He led me back into the room and sat me down on the bed "Besides" he whispered "We'll be home in no time and you won't have to worry about dolphins or ships or anything else."

I looked at him and smiled slightly "Erik, we have to decide where we'd like to live."

He nodded "I think we should live in London. It seems practical and would be a wonderful place to raise children."

I looked at him slightly "We have to weigh the options of Southampton too. We can't make a decision just because one of us wants to live there. I'd love to live in London again, but if Southampton is better, or even Liverpool"

He laid his head on top of mine, one of my favorite things Erik had done. It made me feel safe, protected and when I didn't think we could get any closer, he always surprised me with the little head tilt. "Manchester, Blackpool, York and Birmingham"

I smiled slightly "There's always Torquay or Bath, Brighton is always nice as well; Bournemouth or Bristol."

He laughed as quietly as he could "You'd dislike Torquay, it's near a beach and last time I checked, you wanted to stay as far away from the water as you could after the trip home."

I laughed slightly "You're completely correct, Mr. Holloway." I grabbed his hand and linked my fingers with his "What about Cambridge? It's a lovely city. Oxford is lovely as well is Northampton. Or we can live in Nottingham!" I looked at our laps and laughed "Then we can be Robin hood and little john." I moved my eyes upwards to look at his chin "You'd be little john"

"Oh I would?" He laughed "and why is that?"

"Well, little john is supposed to be bigger than Robin Hood, and well, you're much larger than I." I batted my eyes and snickered slightly.

"fine." He grumbled "well, we seemed to decide on a few places anyway."

I nodded "Yeah, choose one of the fourteen we chose and I could probably rattle off facts about it." I sighed and played with my skirts with my free hand "My tutor made me learn everything about England and when I say everything, I literally mean everything."

"You retained so much about England you forgot that Torquay was near a large body of water." He laughed loudly.

I playfully smacked him in the chest "I never learned much about Torquay! It was never any singifance to me then, why should It be now? It's crossed off our possible living choices."

Erik raised an eyebrow and shook his head "What are your thoughts about Manchester?"

I inhaled slightly and stood up quickly "I'll be back!" I exclaimed before rushing out of the cabin and down the hall to a thankfully empty restroom. I shut the door and once again threw up all that I possibly could. After I was sure that the bought of sickness had passed, I stood up and made my way out of the restroom and down the hall once again back into the cabin. I opened the door and smiled slightly before I sat back down on the bed next to a very worried looking Erik "I'm okay. I still think it's that hot dog I ate yesterday. Never eating one of those again." I held my stomach. Perhaps it was the hotdog or perhaps it was something else, and secretly I was hoping for the latter. "Besides, it could also be nerves." I smiled slightly.

Erik nodded, not giving any second thought about it. For the next few hours and well into the night Erik and I spoke to each other about where we had wanted to live, where would be best for us. Before we had gone to bed we decided on Cambridge, for its wonderful rich history and I had to admit, the name was enticing.

The next thirteen days were about uneventful as the first few days on the Titanic had been. Most of the mornings I spent in the restroom, without the knowledge of Erik or Marabelle, who still refused to speak to anyone. She spent most of her time reading a book she had found on the sun deck, and refused to put it back when both Erik and I had asked her. She never put the book down so we could return it and she made sure that we couldn't. During one of the days at sea, we had a lifeboat drill, which had not only sent me into a panic, but Marabelle as well. Poor Erik had spent most of the night comforting the poor girl while I had been in some sort of panic attack most of the night, but could handle myself I was sure.

The ship had plenty of activities that I tried to participate in. some of the ladies onboard had created a knitting circle and they even tried to teach me, but while laughing they had told me I was unteachable and kept Marabelle around to hold their yarn for most of the day. I didn't mind this as much, as she seemed much at ease around the elderly ladies and I had decided that I was going to find her grandmother. When Marabelle was left with the knitting circle, Erik and I made sure that we had plenty of time together, drinking tea and sun bathing on the sun deck. Once or twice following the tea sessions, we made love.

Our last few hours on the boat were exciting. I was ready to get off; I was ready to see England once again. I was just ready to be home. I scoured the room for anything that we might have left, Marabelle had insisted that all of her stuffed animals had been placed in a trunk, besides the one that she was carrying. The first words she spoke to Erik and I in weeks.

When the boat did finally dock, we were among the first to get off of the ship, and touching the ground in England felt wonderful.

"Marabelle!"

I looked up at the sound of the voice, who would know Marabelle in England of all places? I tightened my grip on Marabelle's hand.

"Marabelle!" the voice came again, this time it was closer. A small blond lady appeared through the crowd and smiled down at the girl "Marabelle! You're safe."

I looked at the woman, who wasn't much shorter than I was "I'm sorry… who might you be?"

The blond looked down at Marabelle ad smiled once again before she looked up at me "Why, I'm Nan O'Riley. I'm Marabelle's cousin." She looked at Erik and I once again "My family has been scattered all around the docks that ships might come in at, looking for a trace of our little Marabelle." She kneeled down and wrapped Marabelle in her arms. Instantly Marabelle let go of my hands and it once again crushed my heart "We read in Belfast the names of the survivors and our little Marabelle was on the list!" Tears ran out of Nan's eyes as she stood up, Marabelle close to her. "We have to thank you for taking care of her so well." She looked down at Marabelle and up to me "What do we owe ya?"

I clenched my jaw and looked at the woman, who looked no older than twenty one. She was wearing a long brown skirt and a faded brown jacket with fur around the collar, but patches of it was missing. Freckles dotted her face and upon closer inspection she didn't have blond hair, it was red, just like Marabelle's. I was positive that she was lower class as well, but a lot better off than what Marabelle's family sounded like "You… You owe me nothing."

Nan looked up at me and smiled "You're very kind. Marabelle, isn't this lady kind?"

Marabelle nodded and mumbled a "yeah."

A small chuckle escaped Nan's lips "it's a lovely dress Mara! Come, we must show Uncle David!" Nan started to walk off, Marabelle close to her, looking up at her and chatting about her adventures no less. She carried her suitcase in her free hand and that's when I realized that the trunk of Marabelle's stuffed animals were still on the ship.

"Wait!" I called after them and Nan stopped, Marabelle followed suit. I rushed toward them and inhaled slightly "We bought Marabelle a load of stuffed animals, they are still on the ship but we'd like to send them to her when we can." I looked down at the little girl and smiled slightly.

Nan smiled and nodded "Tha' be wonderful." She squeezed marabelle's hand "Do you have a piece of paper and a pen?"

I nodded and rummaged through the little handbag that I carried and took the O'Riley's address. "I'll send it to you in a few days time." I smiled and looked at Nan "Do you mind if I have a word with Marabelle?"

Nan shook her head "No, go right ahead." She let go of marabelle's hand and looked at the young girl "I'll be right over there, by that fountain. Perhaps Miss-" she looked up at me "I'm sorry, I didn't catch yer name."

"Christine."

"perhaps Miss Christine could walk you over." She smiled and walked to the fountain, sitting on it's edge. I was positive the woman was watching us, but also trying to give us our privacy.

"Marabelle," I started, tears threating to pool in my eyes "I'm sorry you were so angry with Erik and I for the past couple of weeks. If we did anything to upset you we truly are sorry." I chewed my bottom lip and wrapped the girl in a hug "You're sure you know this woman?"

Marabelle looked at me "I'm not mad at you Christine." Marabelle looked down at her tiny feet "I just miss my parents, my brothers and sisters, my family." She looked up at me and shrugged "I know you lost your family too, but somehow you still have yours, with Erik." She shrugged "I guess I was mad at you for still having a family. I'm sorry." She hugged me tightly and I let a few tears slip down my face. She pulled away and wiped my face with her tiny fingers "Don't be sad Christine." She smiled slightly "My cousin Nan is one of the most wonderful people in the world!"

I smiled slightly "well, you best go. Goodbye Marabelle." I hugged her tightly again before I released her. She gave me a small kiss on my cheek before she ran to her cousin.

I watched them walk away, and I felt a pair of arms wrap around me from behind and I leaned into the person. "She's gone." Erik mumbled "Seems weird now."

I laughed and wiped at my face "Of course, what are we going to do without the silence of Marabelle?"

**Authors Note:** _Sorry for the long delay! I get spotty internet connection and when i do get internet connection i forget about my flash drive -_-' Also, i know a lot of you loved Marabelle, but I found her kind of in the way. Would it be possible for a third class family to travel the united kingdom to search for a little girl? Probably not, but as i stated i found she was in the way and so this works. Besides, i didn't want to give her up to an orphanage, as i would not like to go to an orphanage myself. I try to treat my characters the way i'd like to be treated :) anyway, hope the disappearance of Marabelle isn't too much of a disappointment! Please read and review, thank you! :D_


	18. is this home?

Erik and I made our way as quickly as possible to the house that I had lived in currently, or as Erik liked to call it, our new vacation home. The cab we had chosen was still pulled by horse, and I honestly loved the ride. The English air flowing past my face, the familiar smells of London and of course the long road that traveled up to my family's house. My stomach churned the closer we got to the three story house. Was I ready? No matter what I had to be ready. My family was still there, my family would still be there and they would always be. It's where Erik and I had planned to stay until we were able to reach Cambridge.

Once we reached the front of the house the cabby stopped and we paid him handsomely and he drove off just as quick as he came. I placed the bags down by my feet and Erik had placed Marabelle's stuffed animal trunk down in front of him. I stood still, staring at the house, and Erik didn't make any move to go into the house without me.

The house needed some work already, it had been at least a month and a half since we had been home, and it looked like our groundskeeper had quit on us somewhere inbetween that month and now. The weeds were high and the grass needed cut, something Erik was going to do, weather he liked it or not. There were cobwebs in the window and red paint was chipping off the front door. Vines grew on the side of the house, working its way up to the second floor. The only think that looked decent about the house was that the flowers my mother had planted before we left seemed to live without very much care. Tears sprung in my eyes as I looked at the flowers, the last thing my mother did before we had left. She was positive that they would be in full bloom when she got back, and boy was she right.

"Well…" I looked up at Erik and took his hand holding onto it tightly "We have to go inside sometime, why not now?" I swallowed hard as I moved my way towards the front door. I paused at the gold door handle and turned to look at Erik and I gave him a sad little smile as my hand touched the handle.

"Christine, wait." Erik looked at me and took me by the shoulders "I think you should go in first by yourself, when you're ready for me, I'll be out here, admiring your mother's flowers."

I smiled slightly and wrapped my arms around his waist "Thank you, Erik." I stood on my toes and placed a kiss on half of his lips before I bent down and pulled the key from under the welcome mat. The key slid effortlessly into the keyhole and clicked when I had turned the lock.

The door opened to the living room, it was clean and looked the way it did when we had left. The wonderful red velvet couch sat in the center of the room, facing the fireplace that housed pictures of myself, my mother and my father. The side tables held all of the mail that we had missed in the past month, the most recent was dated to yesterday, which had proved to me that the maid at least still came. I swallowed hard and decided to move further into the house. I found the dining room set up for supper and the kitchen was spotless all besides a dried up sunflower that sat in a vase I had made from mud when I was six. From the kitchen I made my way up the staircase that was adjacent to the living room. It was quite a large staircase, wide at the bottom that thinned as it moved up, two staircases veered off to the left and right as it got to the top. I made my way up the first set up steps and moved up the right set of stairs, where my room, along with my father's office was located.

I made my way into my room, I figured I'd start with the least depressing. I shifted through my clothes, or the remaining clothes that I had. It hit me that my favorite dress was now at the bottom of the ocean, along with my favorite hat, and most of my jewels. I sighed and shifted through the closet, it dawned upon me that I had taken all of the clothes I had deemed 'pretty'. The chocolate brown dress didn't make the cut, and I remembered why with its velvet flowers and twists and twirls in black. It was hideous. I laughed slightly and looked around the room; everything was in order, the way I had left it when I had left.

I inhaled and exited my bedroom, my father's study could wait until last, I had other things to attend to. I made my way down the hall, listing to my footsteps echo in the silence. Silence, that's all that was here now. My mother's laughter wouldn't be filling the halls, My father's jokes would never cascade up the stairs and our family wouldn't sing Christmas carols or carve the turkey together again. I wiped the tears off my face as I neared the bedroom of my parents, the place where I was forbidden to go as a child during day light, the bedroom where they had sung me to sleep when I had nightmares or when the thunder proved to be too much to my childlike ears. Even now, in their death, I seemed to be entering a sort of forbidden territory.

My hand touched the door knob and I gently twisted it and with ease it popped open. I peered inside the room, standing still, as if I was waiting for the room to swallow me whole. I inhaled and stepped a foot inside the room, was I ready? I was unsure but it needed to be done if I wanted to live in this house for a while longer.

My parent's room had wonderful carpet. It was so plushy and had always reminded me of what a cloud would have felt like. Their bed was a large four poster bed made out of the finest wood imaginable, handcrafted by German furniture workers. The night table for the both of them was vastly different. My mother's held a light and a book, with her glasses sitting on top. My father's just held a book and a glass that he used for his nightly 'one drink' of whiskey. I smiled slightly as warm memories flooded back to me; when I was six I had taken my father's glass when it was filled thinking it was a different drink, took a large gulp and spit it back out into the cup, without my father's knowledge. I chuckled slightly and remembered where I was, sacred ground anymore.

I walked over to the vanity where my mother had often did her hair and had applied her make-up. Most of it was missing off the counter and was now resting with her at the bottom of the ocean, but her favorite hairbrush was sitting near the mirror, a few things her grandmother had given her and a picture of my father sitting up on the mirror. I sat on the chair and shuffled my way through the drawers, which were mostly empty. Except one drawer which was full of things I had made my mother from when I was younger. A homemade noodle necklace, drawings of her and I, the letter I had sent to my deceased baby brother and the picture of my family, one where I was doing a funny face. I put a hand to my mouth and let the tears flow freely, how I missed them, how I longed for them to hug me, to comfort me to tell me everything was going to be alright.

I missed watching my mother get ready for the morning, watching my father shave, making sure everything was okay. I missed the times when I was young and my parents were still alive. I wiped my eyes and stood up from the chair and looked at myself in the mirror.

"I'm splotchy." I mumbled and laughed slightly, I already reminded myself of my mother, she hated to cry because she hated being splotchy. I smiled slightly and moved around the room "_You were once, my once companion, you were all that mattered. You were once a friend and father, and then my world was shattered."_ I moved through the wardrobes of my mother, her dresses were always so silky and beautiful "_Wishing you were somehow here again, wishing you were somehow near, somehow it seemed if I just dreamed, somehow you would be here_." I wiped at my eyes and made my way to my father's wardrobes, which were mostly empty save a few suits. I touched the corduroy and held it to my face "_Wishing I could hear your voice again, knowing that I never would, Dreaming of you, won't help me to do, all that you dreamed I could._" I put the sleeve of the garment down and closed the wardrobe and quietly moved out of their room, shutting the door silently behind me "_Passing bells, and sculpted angels, cold and monumental. Seem, for you the wrong companions, you were warm and gentle._" I made it to the top of the staircase before I fell to my knees and sobbed "_Too many years, fighting back tears, why can't the past just die? Wishing you were somehow here again, knowing we must say goodbye. Try to forgive, teach me to live, give me the strength to try! No more memories, no more silent tears, no more gazing across the wasted years. Help me say, goodbye_" I paused and buried my face in my hands "_Help me say, goodbye_"

I wasn't sure how long I had sat there and sobbed at the top of the stairs, alone, but all I knew is that I didn't want to be alone any more, my parents wouldn't want me to be alone, they wouldn't want me to mourn them, neither would Raoul. "Erik!" I called out and waited a second "Erik!" I yelled louder and this time the door opened and a pair of feet rushed up the stairs. I looked up at the scarred man and bit my lip, tears streaming down my face "Erik" I whimpered and grabbed his shoulders pulling him into an embrace "I'm so scared, I'm so lost, I—I" I cried into his shoulder.

Erik didn't say anything, he just sat there and held me, as if that was the only thing he could do at the moment, and I wondered if it was all that I wanted, to be held, to know that someone was there when I had spiraled out of control.

I was unaware how long Erik and I had sat at the top of the steps, I was unaware of how long I had cried and I was unaware of when I had cried myself to sleep. But when I had woke up, I was laying in a bed, with Erik sleeping next to me. The sky outside was black and rain pitter pattered at the window. I cleared my throat as quietly as I could and moved the sheets off my body and got out of the bed, I was thirsty, and still midly upset. Here at home I was more depressed than I had been when I was in new York, when I was giving my testimony, when I had boarded the Carpathia knowing my parents and Raoul had perished.

My feet padded on the cool hard wood of the floor, making me realize that I wasn't in my dress, that I was simply in my chimsey and bloomers and the thought embarrassed me, even though Erik had seen me in less than this. But I was in my parent's house and I felt as if one of them would walk out of their room at any moment and see me in my worst. I laughed at the thought, although I was unsure why. Perhaps I needed to laugh, even though it wasn't that funny. I made my way into the kitchen and grabbed the silver pitcher off the counter and poured some water into the cup my father used for his brandy.

"Christine?" I turned to the sleepy voice of my husband "are you okay?" he rubbed his eyes and then pulled a hand down his face.

I nodded and then realized he probably couldn't see me as the lights were still off "Yeah, I'm fine." I held up the pitcher and realized he probably couldn't see that either "Just thirsty"

He nodded, but I could barely see it "are you okay?" he asked again "I mean about earlier."

I shrugged "I can't bring them back now, can I?" I inhaled and moved towards Erik and wrapped my arms around his waist and realized that he was shirtless which made me chuckle a bit "How about we go back to bed? We can talk about it in the morning okay?"

He mumbled something and we went back into one of the spare bedrooms we occupied, and went back to sleep.


	19. Visits and picnics

The sunlight broke through the curtains of the room bright and early. The absence of Marabelle lingered in the air as I woke up, without a little body sandwiched between Erik and I from the rain during the night. The loss of my parents was still hanging heavily over my head, yet I was determined to make something of the day, I wasn't going to let the sorrow get to me, I was going to be happy, as happy as I could be, at least. I slipped out of the bed and made sure that Erik stayed asleep. For breakfast I was going to make him my mother's famous flapjacks, or I was going to attempt to. When I made it to the kitchen and rummaged through the cupboards I noticed that most of the ingredients went bad when we were gone. I sighed heavily and pushed a piece of hair out of my face via my breath. There was only one way to make Erik breakfast, and it was to go into town and get the fresh ingredients.

I skipped up the stairs and into my bedroom to get ready for the day. I found the corset was hard to put on and left it to the wayside. I was thin enough already not to need one, no one would have noticed unless I told them otherwise. The brown ugly dress actually wasn't that ugly, it complemented my hair and the brown eyes I had inherited from my father. I put my boots on and grabbed a tiny day purse and quickly moved out of the house.

My father kept the model T in the garage; it was his pride possession, after his family of course. He had taught me to crank it when I needed to use it, although he was sure it wouldn't be much. I lifted the hood and found the crank and after a few painful turns, I started it much to my delight. I pulled open the garage door and got in the car and slowly pulled it out and down the driveway. The drive into London was faster than being on horse and after I had parked the car and got out, I made my way towards my favorite little fruit stands and past the news paper stand which had quite a article;

**NEW PREGNANCY TEST, CONTROVERSAL OR HELPFUL**

I chewed on my bottom lip before I paid a pence for the paper and then went about my business. I had bought fruit and vegetables for Erik and I at least for a week. The guy I bought the vegetables from also sold flour and the guy I bought the fruit off of sold oil and sweets. I paid each of them handsomely and made it back to the Model T and cranked it up in half the time I did while I was at home. Proud of myself I put down the lid to the car, or whatever it was called, and hopped into it and made my way home.

Once home I put the food up in the ice box and started working on the morning's breakfast. The paper laid on the counter and while I waited for the cast iron skillet to heat up, I read the article inside;

_In 1909 Mr. Emil Abderhalden found that on identification of a foreign protein in the blood, the body reacts with a "defensive fermentation" that causes disintegration of the protein. Not too long ago Mr. Abderhalden developed a test to find out if a woman was pregnant through her blood. Now the test is under scrutiny for being 'unreliable' and absolutely indecisive for either a positive or negative diagnosis of pregnancy. Although Mrs. Hubert O'Dair swears otherwise, that the test proved positive for her and is now six months pregnant. _

"Christine?" Erik appeared in the kitchen, his hair all disheveled and his hands covering his face as he rubbed them up and down "how long have you been up?"

I smiled and shoved the paper in the drawer "Oh, a while." I smiled and grabbed a towel and held up the cast iron skillet "Making breakfast, would you like eggs as well?" Erik shook his head no "Darling, I have to go into town today, I would like the doctor to look over me as I feel I still have this bug I received in New York." I held my stomach, which had been churning all morning but thankfully nothing had came up.

"would you like me to go with you?" he questioned as he moved behind me wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I would, but for a completely different reason." I looked up at him and turned around, gently tracing the scars on his face "You remember the trunk Marabelle left? I'd like you to take that and send it to her. The post office is not too far from the doctor, you could do that for me, couldn't you?"

Erik looked at me and nodded slightly "yeah, I could mail it." He sat down at the kitchen table, in the spot where my father enjoyed sitting. I smiled slightly, perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to live out the rest of our lives here, the house had already been bought, it was already furnished and the backyard was so large our children would grow up the same way I would have.

I finished making the breakfast and served it to Erik before I had served myself. My mother always did it to my father, I thought I'd carry on the tradition. After breakfast Erik cranked the car and we both made our way into town. Erik dropped me off at the doctor's office and I watched him make his way towards the post office.

I smiled slightly and made my way into the office "Excuse me…" I walked up to the receptionist and placed my hands on the table gently "I have been feeling particularly ill recently, I was wondering if I could see the doctor, if he was available." I leaned in closer "I have a feeling I might be pregnant." I beamed.

The nurse behind the desk smiled slightly and looked at her books "Well, we do have a spot at 10:30" she looked up at the time "In about ten minutes, so if you could fill out these forms and the doctor will see you in a few minutes" She handed me a pen and a few papers to fill out and when I was finished and handed them back in, the doctor was ready to see me. The nurse escorted me back into a small room where I had waited for the doctor.

"Ah, Mrs. Holloway, what is bothering you?" the doctor made his way into the room.

I shrugged "Well, sir." I cleared my throat "I had met my husband not too long ago, perhaps a month." I giggled slightly "We met on Titanic." I whispered "And well," I beamed up at him "I think I might be pregnant." I smiled

"Well Mrs. Holloway—"

I looked up at him "I know it's a long shot to come here, but I figured I you'd know a few tests." I looked at the door and then back to the doctor "I saw a story in the newspaper today about a blood test…"

"Mrs. Holloway, it's called the Abderhalden reaction, it's a very controversial test, it's wrong half the time." He sighed and looked at me "I don't want you to get your hopes up."

I nodded "I know, I'd love to try it though. I just have to know."

He nodded and looked at his papers "Well, we can try, along with a questionnaire." He walked towards the door and touched the knob "I'll be back with the questionnaire and then we will get started on the blood work." I nodded and watched the doctor leave and rested my hand on my stomach, I had gained a noticeable pound or two, Erik haddn't noticed and if he did, he didn't say anything. I fiddled with the skirts of my dress and waited until the doctor came back.

"Okay Mrs. Holloway" He cleared his throat and looked down at the paper "Now have you noticed any spotting? Like the start of your menstrual cycle?"

I nodded "I did, about six days later, cramps too but really, nothing came." I shrugged

He nodded and checked a small box "have you noticed a milky white vaginal discharge? It's related to the fact that almost immediately after conception the vaginal walls begin to thicken."

I shrugged "I haven't checked, I didn't think about things like that"

He nodded "Okay, Changes in your breasts are another very early sign of pregnancy." He clicked at his pen "When you conceive, your body undergoes a rapid change in hormone levels and in one or two weeks your breasts have become swollen or sore or even tingly. They could also feel heavier or fuller or feel tender to the touch. In addition the areola may darken, have you experienced any of these?"

I thought for a moment. I had noticed that my breasts were sore when Erik and I had made love on the ship on the way home, and they were sore now even "Yeah" I nodded "They're sore."

He checked a box under the first box he had checked and nodded "okay, what about fatigue?"

"Oh" I laughed slightly "I'm tired all the time!"

"Please tell me about any morning sickness that you might have had."

I laughed "Oh, it started on our last day in New York, I consumed a hot dog, I'm positive it wasn't the hot dog Dr. Dillamond." I eyed him "I've stayed sick since then, almost every morning. This morning before I left I had threw up my flapjacks."

"What about the frequent need to urinate?"

I shook my head "No, I don't always have to urinate." I laughed slightly

"What about mood swings?"

"Yeah, on the first night on the way home I had turned three different moods in at least an hour."

"headaches or back pain or even any dizziness?"

I shook my head "No, none of those."

He nodded and sat on a stool, grabbing a needle and a sirange out of his breast pocket and unwrapped it from its protective wrapper. He drew some blood and then quietly stood up "Well Mrs. Holloway, we'll contact you to come get your results." He smiled slightly and helped me up off the examination table "You can go now, but don't think too much of this result, we'll compare them to the quiz I had given to you and see which one we'd believe more." He gave a hearty chuckle.

I smiled and grabbed his hand shaking it "Thank you, so much." I smiled "I'd love to tell my husband but not right now, it's too early and I don't want to make a big deal about it if I'm not." I blushed and quickly walked out of the small room and into the waiting room, where I found Erik sitting patiently.

"Christine." He smiled slightly and linked his arm in mine "is everything okay?"

I nodded "yeah, I have to come back in a week for a check-up. I'd like you to come." I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder.

He nodded "Yes, of course darling."

I nodded and smiled and laid my head on his shoulder as we walked out of the doctors office. The air was warm and inviting. I wondered if it was this nice in New York, if people were taking a stroll in central park, flying kites with their children or having a picnic. I smiled and looked up at Erik "We should have a picnic this afternoon, what do you say?"

"Where?" he questioned looking around the concrete jungle.

I gave him a look and laughed slightly "well the backyard of course! It's huge, it's like our own central park." I smiled and slid into the car "We can have sandwiches and tea." I looked over at Erik and grinned "Cucumber sandwiches! I picked some up at the market this morning."

He nodded "Sounds great." He grinned.

Erik and I made our way out of the city and up to the house, where on the front door waited two letters jammed in the tiny crease.


	20. Inquiry with emotions

The next day, per the letters suggestion, Erik and I both showed up in the British courts. I had been through this before, except in America and it was known that the English always took their testimonies seriously. They were never like testimonies; they were always more like interrogations; at least that was what Raoul had said when he was questioned for the fire of the Opera in Paris. The thought of Raoul had caught my breath, In the midst of the chaos I had not thought of him but once and I felt guilty. Of course I felt guilty, if I had passed away Raoul would be mourning my death just like I had mourned for my parents; or at least I thought he would.

"The court would like to call up Mrs. Holloway" The voice called out. I cleared my throat and released my hand from Erik's who had gave a sigh of relief indicating that I had a near death grip on his hand.

"Mrs. Holloway, you will remember on the night of this disaster to the Titanic, you were wakened, I think, by the collision?" He questioned

I nodded "I was" I swallowed hard and tried to remember the story I had told the American jurors

"I only want you to tell me one thing before we get to the boat, had there been offers to you to go into any of the lifeboats?" Lord Byron questioned

I once again, nodded "Oh yes, they put me in a life boat."

"You mean some of the sailors?"

I shook my head no "No, my husband, my father and our traveling companion Raoul."

"And you refused to go?"

"Absolutely. All three of them were very anxious that I should get into the boat."

"Well, eventually you did go. Did your husband come along?"

I shook my head no "No, he didn't join myself in the lifeboat. He stayed on the ship until it went down."

Lord Byron cleared his throat and looked at his notes "had you heard any orders given?"

"yes"

"Do you remember what they were?"

I looked at Erik who was sitting in the 'audience' I inhaled deeply and looked back at Lord Byron "As far as I can remember, it was to row quickly away from the boat for about two-hundred yards."

"And to come back if called upon?"

"No."

"You did not hear that?"

"Oh, no"

"I do not quite understand?"

I looked at him perplexed how could he not understand. "I did not hear that."

"Did you hear anything about suction?"

"Perhaps I did, but I wasn't paying attention, I was being lowered away from the most important men in my life." I gave him a look and shook my head "Would you be paying much attention if you were being lowered away from your wife sir?"

He nodded slightly and then looked at his paperwork "Did you hear any cries at all?"

"Yes, before she sank; terrible cries." I buried my face in my hands, perhaps if I couldn't play him on the thought of losing my husband, my father and my friend then I would play him on emotions.

"Before she sank?" he said as stone cold as he possibly could.

"Yes." I mumbled

"Did you see her sink"

"I did."

"were your men rowing?"

"Yes, as far as I remember. I jumped ship shortly afterwards, sir."

He cleared his throat and looked at a man at the desk next to him "I think that is all I need to ask, do you want to ask anything, Sir Robert?"

The man shook his head "No, my lord."

Lord Byron looked up at me and smiled slightly "The witness may step down." He nodded to me as I made my way from the stand "My lord calls to the stand Mr. Erik Eugene Holloway."

Erik passed me and I gave him a slight smile. He looked irritated already, and the 'intergoation' haddn't started quite yet. I made my way to the back of the room and sat down on one of the empty benches. Few people were sitting in the room, Lord and lady duff Gordon, second officer Charles Lightoller among a few other survivors.

"You are Erik Eugene Holloway, I think?"

"Yes." Erik responded

"Were you First officer on the titanic?"

"I was."

"how long have you been in the white star company's employ"

"Eleven years and seven months, roughly."

"That would be since about 1901?"

" October, 1901"

"Sailing with that company cross the alantic many times, is most of your experience in the north Atlantic?"

"Most, yes."

"We will get from you the first names of the officers, because you will have occasion to refer to them from time to time. Of course, Captain smith we know of; he was the commander?"

"Yes."

"Then next in order comes the chief officer?"

"Yes."

"Who was that?"

"Mr. Wilde."

"I believe the both of them were lost?"

"They were."

"then you come as first officer?"

"Yes."

"Who was second officer?"

"Mr. Charles Lightoller"

The questioning of Erik had gone on for about an hour, and he was told that he would be needed the next day. When Erik was sworn off the bench he and I made our way back to the house, where we spent the rest of the day in silence. I wondered if he was worried about the questioning, or if he was worried about me, or if he was mourning his fallen comrades. He spent his time in the library on the third floor, looking at a book with a untouched scotch in his hands. I often leaned on the door to make sure he was alright, and when he sensed my presence he would look back and I would give him a smile and he would motion for me to come towards him. We repeated this action every so often with me ending up on his lap.

The rest of the week drug by slowly. Erik had been called back to testify, and when he had came back home he seemed chipper; quite unlike what he had been during the first day of his testimony.

"Christine?" he questioned as he walked in through the front door. "Christine, where are you?"

"In the kitchen!" I smiled slightly and clasped my hands together "Hurry, I have something to show you!" I giggled slightly and watched as he walked in "Happy birthday!" I screamed and threw my arms up in the air throwing paper confetti in the air laughing slightly. "We never got to celebrate your twenty-ninth birthday in new York, so I figured we could celebrate it here, it's about a month late, but it's something, right?" I scrambled around the kitchen "I made pork chops and vegetables, oh!" I jumped slightly and made it to the cupboard "I found these little cookies." I held out the packaging "They're called Oreos."

"The package is open." Erik looked confused and then a smirk slipped on his face.

"I ate _one_ I had to taste them. Oh they're delicious!" I grinned "Sit! Sit!" I commanded and watched Erik place the cookies on the counter before he made his way towards me "you're not sitting." I mumbled slightly, feeling like I was about to cry.

"I know." He mumbled and wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him "You're wonderful, Christine." He placed a light kiss on my lips and pulled away and smiled "Tru—are you crying?"

I nodded "Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because you're not sitting!" I whined wiping my eyes.

He laughed slightly, obviously finding this all comical "You're crying, because I'm not sitting?" He questioned, tilting his head to one side, still not sitting down.

"Yes!" I pointed to the table "The food is going to get cold and we're not going to be able to eat it." I cried out "we do not want to throw out uneaten food! There- there- there…" I sniffled "A PIG DIED TO FEED US ERIK! YOU COULD AT LEAST EAT IT!" I wailed and buried my face in my hands.

I peaked from beneath my fingers just enough to see a confused expression etched on Erik's face. "Christine..?" he whispered before he moved towards me "I-I'm sorry?" He seemed unsure whether he should be apologizing, and quite honestly I was unsure if he should be too.

"No, no." I looked up at him and wiped my eyes "I'm sorry." I blushed slightly and looked away "It just… Emotions, still." He nodded and wrapped his arms around me tightly.

"Let's go eat?"

I nodded "Let's eat."

Throughout dinner, I burst out in tears for silly things; the way Erik was chewing, the way he cut his meat even the thought of the pig that had died was enough to bring tears to the table. I had been doing well in the emotion department since I had the episode on the ship and the fact that they decided to make a appearance today of all days, was beside me. Dinner came and went and after the both of us decided to wash the dishes (where I had cried because Erik was washing in the wrong direction, or after he had rinsed the soap off I had seen extra soap and had cried about it) we sat around listing to the radio, where Erik would take extra precaution to make sure that I didn't cry during a story or a song.

For supper, Erik decided that we should have soup. I agreed deeming it to be the least cryable food to make. Nothing had died for it, Erik couldn't chew it and he couldn't cut it. I was golden. Except I wasn't; instead of crying, I got angry at Erik, for cutting the vegetables wrong, for adding them to the pot wrong and for not cleaning up his mess. Once or twice I walked out of the kitchen, leaving erik dumbfounded to my whereabouts until he had found me sitting in my father's study and coaxed me back downstairs and that he was sorry.

I found it annoying but yet comical.

I wished the emotions would have ran rapid another time, when I wasn't trying to celebrate my husband's birthday. After the soup had been consumed, without any tears; the dishes cleaned, without any tears the mood swings subsided and Erik and I enjoyed a wonderful evening munching on the delightful crème filled cookies.

**Authors Note:** _I felt like some comedy should be put in here, I don't feel like I have put comedy in, in a while and let's be real here I'm not that good at it. There are quite literally two more chapters left, perhaps three depending on how I feel about it. I don't want to drag it on too much longer and I'm so proud of myself, this will be the FIRST story I've completed in the 7 years I've been on here _


	21. Intruder

The light beamed in early the next day waking me up almost instantly. My eyes were heavy and swollen, my face felt puffy and I was all around tired. The birds chirping outside were making my head pound, something I wasn't ready for this early in the morning. My stomach churned which was enough motivation to get out of the bed. After I returned from the bathroom due to a false alarm, I noticed the bed was empty and I suddenly started to worry. Erik wasn't due back in court for another couple of days, I was positive he didn't know where anything was in London, being from Southampton and all.

"Erik?" I stuck my head back out of the bedroom and waited for a response "Erik!" I called again, my heart pounding. Did I scare him off last night? "Erik where are you?" I called again and padded out of the room and to the grand stairs. "This isn't funny Erik!" I rushed down the steps and made it downstairs, where I heard noises in the kitchen. Was I being robbed? If I was they certantly heard me and wanted to be out as quick as possible. I passed the couch and grabbed the solid brass lamp that my mother had purchased in France. I listened closely as I made my way towards the kitchen; the clanging stopped and all was silent "Hello?" I bravely called out, my voice cracking and my stomach churning with fear, not vomit.

The door to the kitchen suddenly swung open and within the same time span I closed my eyes and swung my lamp, colliding with the intruders head. Until I heard a thump on the floor I kept my eyes closed and when I opened them; I opened them to someone who did not have the face of a burgurlar, but the scarred face of my husband. I gasped and dropped the lamp as I kneeled down, rolling Erik over on his back "Erik!" I shook him violently "Erik, wake up!" I begged. "Erik! Wake up right now or I swear to god-"

"You have a mean swing." Erik mumbled putting a hand up to his head "Jesus Christine, where'd you learn to swing like that?" he laughed slightly and sat up.

"I'm so sorry!" I threw myself onto him and enveloping him in a hug pushing him backwards "So so sorry!" I gasped slightly putting my hand up to my mouth "Oh!" I stood up and pointed at Erik "Stay!" I rushed up the stairs and grabbed a piece of cloth from my sewing room and placed it under the faucet. I rushed back downstairs, tripping on the last few steps before I made it back to Erik "You're bleeding."

Erik nodded and held up his hand "yeah, I see that." He chuckled. Tears fell down my face as I got on my knees and started to wipe his face off "Don't cry Christine, I'm not angry or upset; Just slightly confused and terribly impressed." He winced as I placed the wet compress on his forehead. "Why did you hit me, Christine?"

I looked at him as if he was stupid "Well…." I said in a sing song tone "I woke up, thought I had to throw up, so I ran to the bathroom." I paused and looked at him, "False alarm of course but when I returned I noticed that the bed was empty. I thought you left me after what had happened last night and well, I was scared." I swallowed "So I came downstairs to see if you were here, I was calling for you but you didn't answer and so I suspected you left, then I heard a noise in the kitchen and I assumed the worst and thought you had left and that there were burglars in the house." I laughed slightly "it all seems so silly now." I wiped at my eyes and lifted the cloth off his forehead to look at it "What were you doing in the kitchen exactly?" I questioned, licking my finger and rubbing some blood away from the gash on the left side of his forehead.

I thought I had seen him blush for a split second "I felt bad for making you cry yesterday, so I thought I'd make it up to you by making breakfast." He pointed into the kitchen "Crepes with fresh fruit and a crème filling that I found in your mothers cookbook."

I looked at him and smiled "Look at you!" I playfully shoved him smiling slightly "cooking me breakfast!" I grinned slightly and then looked at his forehead "I think it might scar." I frowned looking down at him "look at this, you make me breakfast and I almost kill you!"

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down on top of him "It's no big deal, Christine. It's not like I don't have any." He mumbled and entangled his fingers in my hair.

I pulled away slightly and looked at him "Erik, You're very handsome." I ran my hands up and down his chest looking at his white shirt, which had a few buttons undone "I fell in love with your personality, your face just happened to come with part of the package." I smiled and traced over the scars gently with my finger "I love them, they make you, you. They make you unique and they make you mysterious." I smiled slightly and looked at him "They hold a story that is painful, Erik. They show a part of you that you'd rather forget." I pressed my forehead against his "But I'm here, for a long, long time and I love every single part of you." I smiled and kissed his nose before I stood up and made my way into the kitchen. In fact, I hated the stories that Erik's scars had told, I hated that it happened to him, but in reality I loved the outcome. I loved to kiss them and listen to Erik exhale softly, as if I was kissing away the pain, I loved tracing them with my finger and watch him get chicken skin. I loved the way they twitched up when he smiled, and when he looked amused, they completed him. Sometimes, when I watched him sleep at night, when I had been unable to rest, I wondered if he'd be with me without those scars. Those scars I was thankful for, for they gave me Erik. I rinced out the cloth and came back into the sitting room where Erik was still laying on the ground "Erik," I leaned over and started to clean up the blood that had dripped down his face and into his hair, which had grown out a bit. I had found it rather sexy.

"Hm?" He closed his eyes as I gently passed over his scars

"I have to tell you something, something I should have told you before." I swallowed hard and looked at him "For the longest time now, or for at least two weeks," why was this so hard? I never had to tell anyone I thought I might be pregnant before, it was new to me and I was nervous "Well…" I paused again "I just, I don't want to hurt you if it's not true." I closed my eyes and grabbed his hands "Ithinkthatimightbepregnant" I mumbled.

"Pardon?" He sat up, the cold cloth hitting my skirts, almost instantly soaking through the fabric of my skirts.

I closed my eyes and laughed slightly "I don't know why this is so hard to tell you."

"Well, just tell me. I promise I won't think of you differently."

I exhaled and opened my eyes and looked into his "good, because I think I might be with child." That was easier to say.

Until Erik had passed out and was now lying unconscious on the floor.

Again.

And both times they were my fault.

I laughed slightly at the revelation and gently shook him "Erik? Erik, love…" I laughed slightly and bent over him "Erik!" I whispered loudly in his ear.

His eyes popped open and he turned his head to look at me "You're making me a… father?" tears pooled in his eyes as he looked at me. I nodded slightly, this was the reaction I was afraid of. What if I wasn't making him a father? What if it was a false alarm, the newspaper and the doctor said that it was a very unpredictable test, I sighed slightly before putting a smile "I—I never thought…." He sat up, almost hitting my forehead with his and rubbed his face, obviously rubbing away the tears.

I touched his arm lightly and looked at him "It's not for certain. I didn't want to tell you quite yet, but after everything last night" I shrugged "I felt like I should."

He pulled me into a tight hug "Either way, you've always made me the happiest I've ever been in my life. If you're not with child, it will not change my opinions about you and it wouldn't weaken my love for you, Christine." He rubbed a hand up and down my back.

I smiled slightly and closed my eyes; Erik really was perfect. He had attempted to make the perfect breakfast for me, until I had knocked him out, and he seemed really happy for that split second before he passed out, and even if I wasn't pregnant, he'd still love me anyway. There was nothing wrong with that.

I woke up bright and early a few days later, mostly to get Erik ready for his second testimony at the courts. This time however, I wasn't going with him as it seemed my presence being there embarrassed him in his testimony. He had warned me that this one was going to take a little longer than expected and that my trip into town should be an event filled one.

For most of the day in town I spent at the local shops, bought some food for the supper that night and even coaxed myself into a new dress for myself and a splendid tux for Erik. I couldn't help but stop at the toy store for Marabelle, wondering if she had received her trunk yet. Erik had sent it first class but poor little Marabelle lived all the way in Ireland. Sometimes I cursed myself for letting the little girl go too soon without checking my facts first. But Marabelle seemed at ease with the woman so it didn't put me at alarm.

I couldn't help but wonder if Marabelle would keep in contact with Erik and I, and I couldn't help but wonder how her family were able to stay at the ports for about a month waiting for the little girl. Perhaps they were second class, able to do things such as that or maybe they slept on the streets waiting for the girl. The thought sickened me and I decided that browsing in the toy store wouldn't be too bad of an idea.

I browsed the toys for a while before I came upon a cute white sixteen inch teddy bear with a red stripped hat and a matching shirt that made its way to where the bear's knees would be. He had tiny brown eyes and a cute little nose. I loved him and whenever Erik and I had a child, weather it be now or later, would love this teddy bear too. I picked him up off the shelf and cuddled the bear, he was soft and I could see my child putting lots of love into him. I looked on the shelf for another one, but it seemed as if this particular teddy bear was made for me, for the child that was a possibility, for the future child.

I smiled looking down at the teddy bear I called 'sleepy' and took him up to the cash register to pay.

The final day of the inquiry came, and unfortunately it happened to land on the day I was to check back at the doctors. I decided to wear my new dress, which was slightly snug but beautiful the same. It was almost an exact replica of the striped one that I had lost. Except instead of black pinstripes these were a rose color, and absolutely lovely.

"Excuse me," I said as I walked up to the counter of the doctors office "I was told to come here to get my official results."

The lady at the desk looked up and smiled slightly "Very well" she stood up and lead me to a room in the back "The doctor will be with you shortly. We're not very busy today." She smiled slightly and made her way out of the room.

I mumbled a thank you as she left the room quickly and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And finally he entered the room "Well, Mrs. Holloway." He swallowed hard and looked at me "We did the blood test quite a few times and we turned up with the same result each time, along with the result of your questionnaire. You are indeed pregnant." He held out his hand "Congratulations."

I smiled slightly and shook his hand before I thanked him and practically ran out of the office. I was right, I was pregnant. A tiny person was growing inside me, and I couldn't have been happier.

The moment I told Erik the news over supper and Oreos he cried, of joy, of happiness of whatever was rushing through his mind at that moment.

After all we had been through, after all the tears that were shed, we felt complete, and it was wonderful.

**Authors Note:** _I searched high and low for how to find out if you were pregnant in 1912; I only came up with the blood test as mentioned previously. I figured I'd throw in a 'questionnaire' for Christine to answer as well, but I feel that back then they would have let it ride out and see if the lady were to grow. But for the sake of the story, they did it this way :P Also, the white teddy bear with the red and white striped hat and shirt is modeled after my own teddy bear named sleepy. So in a weird sense of the way, it's a shot out to something that's not here xD_


	22. five years later

"Mummy!" the little voice yelled "Mummy! Watch!"

I moved my eyes towards the lake where I found my husband in the water with his arms extended, waiting for the child who was now swinging on the rope that hung so carelessly on the tree. I laughed slightly as the little child fell into the water with a scream a few feet from Erik. He popped up a few seconds later and paddled over to his father who embraced him ad praised him.

I looked at the sleeping child next to me and scooped her up. She was beautiful; her hair was as black as the night, yet as curly as mine. She had the perfect little button nose and the tiniest set of lips. Her eyes were large with the color of the ocean; she was her father's child from the hair color to the eye color. She and I made it into the lake where I welcomed the cool water, that enveloped me up to my waste "William!" I called out.

The little boy looked up at me and doggie paddled up to where his sister and I were now standing. The boy looked like Erik in every way. His dark hair was straight, his nose was just like his sister's and his eyes just like his fathers. He too, was a beautiful child "Yes mummy?" he paddled in place, keeping afloat.

I smiled and ruffled his hair with one of my hands "You did a wonderful job on the rope swing." I smiled and looked down at him.

"Why don't you try it mummy?" he blinked his eyes up at me and I looked at Erik who seemed amused.

"Yeah mum, why don't you try it?" he jested.

I looked at Erik before I looked back down at William "I would love to try it dear, but I have Emma"

The little boy laughed "Well she can go too mummy!"

I laughed slightly and shook my head "No, William, she can't. She's just a baby, she doesn't know how to swim."

"I can take her." Erik extended his hands and plucked the child out of my arms "William, why don't you go take your mother up to the top of the hill and show her how to work the rope?"

William nodded excitedly and paddled to the shore. I looked at Erik "You're a dead man" I whispered but Erik just laughed in return.

"Come on mummy!" William jumped upon the beach and looked at me. I shot a look back at Erik before I exited the water and got sand on my feet. William's tiny hand took mine and he ran up the slope to where the tree had rested. "Okay mummy" William let go of my hand and grabbed the rope handing it to me "You're going to gwab the wope, and then just swing out. When you're far enough out, you let go and drop!" He jumped and made a splashing noise.

I nodded and grabbed the rope "okay" I murmured. I grabbed the rope and bravely pushed myself off the cliff and instead of jumping off the rope, I clung to it as if my life depended on it.

"Oh, Come on Christine!" Erik called from the bottom, Emma clutched protectively in his arms "it's just a twenty foot drop! If your five year old son can do it, you can do it too!"

I looked below me, at how the water loomed below. It reminded me of a troubled time, when I had been lowered into a life boat just a mere thirty feet higher. And then, I dropped. Screams penetrated the silence, but were soon cut off when the water had enveloped me. It was cool, refreshing and had popped me out just as quickly as I had penetrated the surface.

William's cheers seemed so distant from the top of the cliff and Erik's laugh bellowed through the lake. I hurried and swam to my husband who seemed to be enjoying the sight of me falling and screaming. I couldn't help but find it to be thourougghly entertaining, but I wasn't going to say anything.

After a while; Erik, William, Emma and I made our trek back up the hill to the house that we now owned, situated in Oxford. It was a gorgeous house, larger than the ones my parent's owned. It was a three story house that hid its large number of rooms well. It was a striking white with black shutters and a second story porch that held toys of a five year old boy. A 1917 model car sat in the large driveway with a fountain bubbling playfully in the center of the drive.

Our house had been large for a reason, for the two children that Erik and I had already produced out of love were not the only two we had planned to have. Emma was only a month old, but we had talked about more children in the near future, but not so near that we couldn't enjoy the childhood of our daughter.

Years passed as if they were hours. William turned ten a week before Emma turned five. Erik and I had tried for more children, yet we were unsuccessful. Countless miscarages and a still birth of a baby girl had plagued me, sent me into a depression and with the willpower of Erik for many months, I was pulled out of it and enjoyed the presence of my two children.

When they got older, I told them the story of how their father and I had met, of how the Titanic sank and how we both managed to get out alive. I told them about Raoul, about my parents and how they would love them if they were still here. The pain the ship had brought was still present but it had eased over time, and didn't cut as deep. Things replaced the ship I had once loved, and for once in my life, I had been in a comftorable place, and I was wholly, utterly complete.

Fin.

_I'd like to thank everyone who stuck with this story, to the people that reviewed, to the people who read it and to the people who didn't mention my silly little antics that weren't 1912 like ;) I'd also like to say that this is the first story I've finished, ever. I've been on this site since 2005, and I have never completed a story before. I'm quite proud of myself, and quite happy with this story. I hope you take the time to review, and even suggest this story to your friends I love you all & urge you to put me on alert, as a few stories will be making appearances soon, and some will be finished _


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